Engagement ring

[EagerGreenShaker]

If your partner was to propose to you today, roughly how much would you expect them to spend on an engagement ring?

i get that the value of a ring is not important and most people would be happy with any ring at all but just curious as to what people would say for they would expect a partner to pay on a ring you would love

It’s been a while since I was proposed to but I know it cost a month’s salary (£1800) and although it’s a beautiful ring the cost doesn't occur to me. If I had been involved in the process I would never have allowed him to spend that much money on a ring - it would have been an insane concept to me!

Although the engagement ring was £1.8k, my wedding ring was only just over £250 and I love it just as much.

In the big scheme of things, the cost of the engagement ring is irrelevant as it doesn't ‘prove’ anything about how your partner feels about you. If they put effort into finding a ring and choosing one that they think you will love, that’s what’s important.

I got engaged a few weeks ago, the ring cost £1,500. We chose it together and although my fiancé could afford more, I didn’t want it.

Expensive jewellery makes me feel uneasy if I’m honest… as if a price can be put on someone’s love for you. And just think of all the things you could do with that money!

I absolutely love my ring & find it very strange that it’s probably quite cheap in terms of the average cost of an engagement ring.

I wouldn’t care, as long as they were honest about it. I was once proposed to with cubic zerconia, which he said was a diamond. I don’t even like diamonds, but it was the lie that bothered me.

I gave it back and declined.

I am married but in a hypothetical situation I probably wouldn’t even be bothered about an engagement ring and I wouldn’t be happy with more than £1k spent on it (this is a lot less than his monthly salary btw but I think a month’s salary is ridiculous) - I think expensive rings are a waste of money and I’d rather have that to spend on the house or a holiday

Now that it's possible to get diamonds which are not mined but are structurally identical to mined ones, there's no need to overspend on a solitaire imo. People should buy what they truly love (and can afford without too much hardship).
This is a good opportunity to go back to engagement rings being symbolic of love and commitment, rather than the DeBeers notion that love is only measurable by how many months salary the man spends! It's obvious bullshit - a rich man can easily drop 2 months salary on a ring and not feel like it's a sacrifice, whereas a poorer man might have to put himself into real difficulty to go the same. It's not a level playing field.
People most certainly have been manipulated by company campaigns. Advertising works - that's why companies do it!

If I was choosing now, I'd probably go for something like this

I spent 5k on my widow ring when my husband died. I don't think de beers have considered a campaign to encourage widows to buy themselves rings, definite gap in the market there.

I wouldn’t have any expectations in terms of them spending a lot on a ring. I would be far more impressed if he had actually thought carefully about the type of ring I would like rather than buying a big showy ring. I got engaged many many years ago, and my engagement ring cost £27.50 but it is by far my favourite ring I’ve ever had. If I was getting engaged now, at today’s prices, I would be horrified to think that he had spent more than about £500 on a ring.

It is a concept rooted in patriarchal capitalist values. I didn’t have one nearly thirty years ago and still wouldn’t. If I wanted a ring I would get one I liked and make sure any stones weren’t sourced unethically.

@HailMerry Take it then, if you're married, yuo also a Ms MyName? 😀

Cost is not important for me. Romance means more. It should be symbol of love and commitment not an indication of wealth.

It also depends on your financial situation. A loving partner should not expect their fiance to get into huge debt and stress over a ring.
At this stage of the relationship you should both be looking out for each other and making compromises if need be .

In terms of an 'arcane proposal' why is an engagement ring deemed necessary? He doesn't get one, why should she?

My ring cost £250 about 30yrs ago from a secondhand pawn shop! Its a lovely littlle flower shape.

Indeed. As I said in my post, IF the couple think a ring should be bought...

I've never had one as didnit want one.

I suppose the whole concept of traditional marriage is patriarchal. We did.the legalities when we married after engagement but without all of the patriarchal traditions usually involved. Not for us. I chose my own ring but it wasn't a traditional "engagement" ring and certainly not expensive.

Jeez! I hope he didn’t do that in H Samuels!!!

De Beers did a right number on some people, didn’t they?!

There’s no ‘should’ or ‘must’ or ‘based on income/outgoings’.

Get something you love and can afford.

I’d much rather have a pretty ring I loved and then 2 months salary in the bank for emergencies.

I seem to remember there was a trend a while back for men to wear engagement rings too. Evidently it didn’t last.

DH admitted a couple of years ago that he bought my engagement ring on eBay. He was broke at the time after some big outgoings. He said he was worried sick when the jeweller who made my wedding ring asked for my engagement ring as a reference to match the diamonds etc. Anyway, it was subsequently valued at 3k for insurance purposes. He paid a couple of hundred.

TBF there's nothing to say the man doesn't get one either in this setup. DH proposed to me, and I then bought him one too.

Depends how much money he had. If he was a poor student £100. Not ver well paid job £300. After that the sky's the limit.

DH and I got engaged when we were students 5 decades ago. We chose the engagement ring, Victorian solitaire .25cts, from an antique shop. It didn’t cost an awful lot.
30 years later it was showing signs of wear, so replaced it with a similar .50 ct ring. As time has gone on, the ring is a symbol of our love and respect for each other, not of it’s monetary worth.

@mrsgilfeathers Well the jewellery magnifiers may have come in useful 😆

8k or don’t ask.

Mine was £500 wedding ban was £90

I still love it - I dislike the big rings

I think it depends on age, income, savings, basically someone’s financial position. A young person on minimum wage is likely to spend much less than an older very high earner,

Obvs:)