Is this a red flag?

[NopeNotFluffy]

It’s my birthday next week. I’m taking my three children out for dinner. One adult, two older teens. I have been seeing someone for a while who my children already know, but have only been seeing each other since Christmas.

I think highly of this man but do not see us having a traditional relationship living together, for example. I don’t ever want to live with a man again and have made this clear.

I’m looking forward to spending time with my kids celebrating my birthday- we are travelling a fair distance as one of them lives away from home for uni. So we are going to visit their town and meeting at a restaurant there. It will be me, adult dd and her long term girlfriend, older teen ds and steady girlfriend, other teen dd.

My boyfriend is hurt that I have invited my sons girlfriend but not him. Birthdays are not a massive thing for me- but maybe they are for him and I think he sees it as me keeping him “out”.

My view is that we have only been seeing each other since Christmas so he’s jumping the gun a bit.

What are your views?

...........since we have been in touch this time round he has said that he thinks I have an avoidant attachment style

Oh aye, does he?
All that means is that he doesn't like the way you're responding to his demands.
And they are demands.
It's too much, too soon.

We both are aware that he has an anxious attachment style

Or maybe he's trying to control the narrative (and you).
He doesn't sound anxious to me.
He sounds like someone I'd try to get away from, pronto.