Sorry I didn't know how else to explain it in the title . Does anyone else feel this has happened with their husbands?
I was 16 and he was 17 when we got together. We are now in our 40s. Do we have spent almost our entire adult lives together.
First 10 years of relationship felt normal, romantic ,passionate etc. Then we had kids ao the next 10 years spent enjoying them which was lovely.
Now we are older and the kids are older my husband has changed alot but I have not. I feel I am exactly the same personality wise. I look differnt obviously.
He has completely changed looks and personality. He looks about 60 and had let himself go, and can be quite moody. But the main thing I have noticed a lot is he speaks to me as if he is my brother or my parent amd also he acts that way too.Ive started pointing this out to him but he cant see it.
Examples, he will do a lot of gross things around me that he finds funny . Such as farting right next to me at least 10 times every night whilst watching tv. If he finds something on himself like fluff or something he will throw it on me. He will not shower or put deodorant on for long periods. Its almost as if he really enjoys being gross.
The way he sometimes talks to me makes me feel weird. It is very obvious that he doesn't think of me as an equal or even a partner. I will often say to him , we are not blood related, I can leave you at any time , I dont have to put up with you being gross etc. But its as if he cant comprehend this as we have been together so long.
If hes moaning at the kids about picking up mess etc he will include me in it as if I am his child. Or he will chastise me over something that makes me feel as if im his child. I cannot express how much I hate this.
I dont know if its a coping mechanism or if I am neurodivergent but when he does this I now have an extreme reaction. I want to divorce him immediate , start looking at houses and planning my own life , become very defensive and stroppy almost like the teenager he is treating me as. I think its all very weird and I dont like it.
Had anyone else experienced this im a very long term relationship? To add we are not intimate and don't share a room either which i think adds to this. But like I say its mostly that he seems to forget we are a married couple that can separate at any time