Is a Clare's law disclosure always a red flag?

[ParapetCreeper]

I requested a Clare's Law disclosure on a man I have been dating.

In 2007, when he was 21, he made almost 50 harassing phone calls to a woman. He also got a work colleague to make some calls.
It stopped when she said she was going to the police. He was never arrested or charged.

I’d run a mile. Why knowingly enter into a brand new relationship that is going to bring you anything but peace and safety?

He didn't change, that much is clear. Glad you are away from him. Please do consider making your own disclosure to add to his portfolio, so any future partners are well earned.

I mean in this case it sounds fully justified and he's a scumbag, but the system seems very open to abuse if it's that simple. Hopefully there has to be more to it than just an allegation. False allegations are really quite common.

I’ve had a disclosure and was invited in to discuss the reasons I wanted the information, the concerns I had for my safety
they made it clear that the disclosure is not given with the man’s consent so they have to be very sure the risk of harm outweighs the rights of the person having their personal data revealed without their permission
only then did they carry it out, and when I got the results I was told I must never tell anybody what was revealed. I was not allowed it in writing, I was only told verbally

this was my actual life, I am only repeating what I was told, guess other forces may be different

Well done on the decision to inform the police,how many partners you have had in the past has nothing to do with him,it just shows how insecure and nasty he is and yes it's emotional abuse for the way he behaved.

He's clearly learnt nothing from his offeneing behaviour 20 years ago if anything the way he treated you just shows that his behaviour towards women is worsening thankfully thanks to Claire's law women are able to see this behaviour before deciding to enter a relationship with a man.

How many partners you have had in the past is absolutely your business,and no potential partner should ever make you feel bad about it,nor should you feel bad about it.

This is the problem with it. It's great it is available to check for every new partner, but realistically women either don't know about it, or would not think to do it until problems have appeared.

I was in a relationship a few years back, he started to get more and more 'needy' I'd say. Same pattern as you OP, but i hadn't had many sexual partners. It started with things like he asked if I had my mattress when I was with my ex. I found that strange but answered honestly yes, but I have mattress protectors under my sheets so doesn't matter. He kicked off over the phone call saying he wants me to get a new 1 or bleach it. I told him he being unreasonable and he hung up. He called me back saying sorry he knows that was unreasonable so I thought no more of it. Then he would be asking questions about who I spoke to at work or at uni. Would call regularly and if he heard guys speaking in the background would make comments. I kept insisting I am doing nothing wrong part of a class group, so thought I was handling it. Didn't think at all to do clares law.

Then 1 night, I was asleep. I was woke to being pulled out the bed and him kicking off as he had checked my phone and a work colleague had messaged me. He started strangling me and only stopped because my daughter come in the room. He let me take her back to bed and I whispered to her to call the police. I then tried to talk to him calmly to distract him. He was sentenced to 3 months. It was only after this did I get someone (can't remember if it was the police) tell me to do a clairs law and explain what it was.

I was told by that person to say I was still in a relationship (you can't do it as an ex), had to sign something that said it was a criminal offence if I disclosed the details to anyone (mad when it comes to safeguarding). Well i followed their rules, headed the most shocking things about what he had done. But couldn't tell anyone without breaking the law myself. Anonymous and no names here so I can finally say he had physically beat up his exes, dragged 1 across the street by her hair then beat her in public, beat another too until she was black and blue in her home. He done time for both these crimes and was actually on parolle when we met, his conditions were that he wouldn't be dating.

After he was realised for what he done to me, he quickly found another girlfriend. He was a beautifully looking guy, funny and full of charm, with a hard childhood story that would melt anyone's heart. I saw this on Facebook and didn't know what to do. If I told her his crimes I could be prosecuted. If I just told her what happened to me he could deny it and he did really seem such the perfect man to the unknowing. He could focus his violent attention back on me if rocked the boat, and I had a young DD which had already witnessed too much.

10 months down the line I heard he had attacked her and had a 15 years sentence. Thay brave woman put up post after post detailing what he done with the sicking images of her face from the aftermath.

Clairs law did not prevent either of us going through what we did as before it got too late we we wouldn't think or know to check.

The fact you did think to check OP tells me that you know this guy is a risk. Don't take that risk. Now you know there was previous especially. He isn't worth it. No one starts off like my crazy ex, there is a slow build up of pushing the boundaries of what is normal

Wow @ImaginationDragon that's a horrifying story.
If he tried to strangle you that's a big red flag for future murder.
I imagine the woman he got 15 years for barely escaped with her life.
You were lucky he didn't kill you, although what you sent through was bad enough.

I've had a very violent husband, years ago. Clare's Law didn't exist back then. It might have saved his next partner from years of beatings.

This is just not true. You can do a Clare's Law request if you are concerned for yourself or a third party. You do not have to disclose abuse to do this. You just have to have a concern and information will only be shared if there is a history of abuse. When the police tell people not to discuss the information with anyone, it's up to the recipient how literally to take this.