No sex in 10 years.

[LittleThingsS]

Im ‘only’ 37 and haven’t had sex in 10 years, is that really sad and pathetic? No dates, no kissing, not even a hug. I feel sad getting to 40 and not having sex in over a decade. Is anyone else relatively young and in the same situation? I did a search but it was only much older people or married couples in a sexless marriage which doesn’t apply either, I feel too young to be living like this.

Are you actively trying to date? You don't have to live like this.

Would you like to be dating and having sex? You don't really express that. Or simply seeking others in the same situation?

Eh? She says, "I feel sad getting to 40 and not having sex in over a decade." And, "I feel too young to be loving like this."

OP, that sucks, although you won't be alone. Are you looking for a serious relationship or would you be happy with something more casual for the time being?

But there are plenty of opportunities these days to get out there and at least have a date and a snog. Maybe not finding a life partner but if its wanted then even casual sex is available!

What's stopping you?
There are dating apps, hook up apps. There is honestly no shortage of sex. There is shortage of good sex and people who are serious about being in a commited relationship but certainly no shortage of people to go on dates with, kiss and have sex with.

Thanks but no sadly having kids full time makes it impossible to date. I don’t want casual sex i dont want to sleep with someone who never calls me again (not judging women that are into it) but just not for me.

I know people with over 5 children who still manage it, you do need to put yourself out there though if that’s what you want. Could you arrange childcare for date? Even paid childcare.

as you said they have child care I don’t sadly!

Paid child care? Babysitters etc do you can go on dates via a dating site? Daytime dates when kids are at school? Swap child care after school or early evening with a friend and take her kids for after school/ evening in return?

Lunch dates when they're at school? A friend who will watch them?

It gets easier as they get older too. You can definitely still date now or in the near-ish future.

Then you pay for childcare

So if you haven’t had sex in 10 years are the kids all over 9? I guess you could have adopted. But assuming they are over 9 surely you could do some play date swaps or sleepovers with their friends to get some time to yourself?

I went about four years, from 27-31 without having sex. I just couldn’t be bothered with online dating and never met anyone out and about. As soon as I started actively dating again though, sex came with that of course.

Not all at the same time they are never all out at the same time, im not asking for advice on how to date sorry if it has confused people just wondering if anyone has ever been in the same situation!

Thank you! Glad it’s not just me although not quite as long but makes me feel less odd!

With what money? Ex never paid maintenance i have nothing spare, paid childcare is a luxury for most single mums.

I’ve been over 18 months at similar age. I’m on the dating apps and only found three last year I wanted to go on a date with and didn’t sleep with any of them!

You can also date and have sex in the day while children are (presumably) at school. I would just shag a male friend in your shoes. A nice one.

I don’t have any male friends unfortunately!

Ah, shame!

I'm in a similar situation. Single parent of 2 kids. Haven't had sex for 4 years. Just don't have free time to meet anyone.

Make some then! Or get on the dating apps. These obstacles are not insurmountable, if you're wanting to date.

Read above, no free time and no money for sitters unless you are suggesting I bring men round my children straight away, thought mumsnet frowned upon that!!

Thank you, nice that someone understands, at least it isn’t just me.

People have made plenty of suggestions though. Your children must all be over 10 too? So they won't be needing sitters for that much longer.