This is going to sound crazy but after separating from my husband two years ago and getting hooked on my first fwb, something in me just switched. I now feel so emotionally detached from any men I meet. I genuinely always believed if I had sex with a man I would just be his. That I’d attach. That it would mean something deeper.
Apparently not.
The next man I slept with I really fancied. We had great chat, proper vibe. The sex was unreal. But after? Nothing. No emotional spiral. No overthinking. No building him up in my head. And if I’m honest it was brilliant for me.
Over the last few months I’ve met different men from nights out, online and just generally being outside living my life. They’re all different in their own way. All attentive. All enjoy spending time with me and I genuinely enjoy spending time with them.
They’re all younger than me as well. Between twenty nine and forty. Which makes this whole thing even more interesting.
Out of the eleven I’ve only slept with four and only once each. The sex has been mind blowing every time. They’ve all verbally validated my sexual skills and wanted more of me, which I can’t lie I’ve enjoyed hearing.
But here’s the kicker. Not one of them has made me orgasm through oral. That is the most disappointing part for me. I’m not directing a grown man on what to do. At this point I’m realising good sex is not enough. If you cannot make me finish the way I like you do not get promoted. So those four have now been moved straight into the friends category.
It’s mad to me that the same woman who cried over one man is now calmly dating multiple and sleeping peacefully at night.
My first fwb, the one I was borderline obsessed with is back wanting to meet. The difference is I don’t feel that pull anymore. I already know I’ll be much more level headed with him this time.
I meet each guy once a week for dinner and drinks and it’s honestly brilliant. I’ve been upfront with all of them about my situation.
I think what shocks me most is I’m not looking for one of them to pick me. I’m enjoying the menu.
And I’m just sitting here wondering why I didn’t do this sooner. At forty I genuinely feel like I’m in my prime and having the most fun I’ve ever had.