Dont have or want any friends?

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Does anyone not have any friends and doesn’t want any? I see loads of posts from women wanting to make friends but does anyone else have none and dont want any? Am I a freak? Is there something wrong with me? Tell me im not alone? I would like a partner though but have no interest in having friends and get fed up when people tell me I should be wanting friends and not a partner..

Oh I agree. I mean not wanting a shit one (or shit friends) is sensible but everyone wants good people in their lives.

I am with you on this. I struggle and am overwhelmed with social communication at work, when I get home I need to decompress and I find it absolutely wipes me out. My husband is my best friend (although I do have a best friend ) and he fills my social quota perfectly I don’t need to mask around him or relive conversations in my head (I’m autistic). All my other friends are more acquaintances and I’m happy with that less pressure less overwhelm. I often worry that I might need friends one day…. But that day hasn’t cropped up yet! I have enough hobbies enough interactions to keep my life full

I actually think you are being very genuine, honest and authentic.

Following divorce I have changed my lifestyle and one of those things is being with people from groups I have joined. I like the idea of being with these individuals for x amount of time, sharing a mutual pastime but not bothered about forming new friendship.

You sound like you know what you want, so don't feel obliged to question that based on others opinions.

Good on you.

Ive got autism and ADHD and im quite happy with my own little family. I do not desire friends. Its peaceful where i am.

That's one of the reasons I didn't make efforts to maintain my school mum friendships.
I didn't want to hear about their sex lives in detail, or their petty squabbles.
I also wondered what they were saying about me behind my back as soon as I was not there.

I'm also one of those people who think romantic relationships are completely different from friendships. In romantic relationships, there is sexual attraction which initially facilitates contact. This is sometimes followed by love, which is (at least in my case) a much stronger feeling than the affection I have for my friends.
The fact that I know my DH loves me means I don't have to worry about the days where I'm unhappy, boring, grumpy, I know he won't stop loving me because of that. Just like I don't stop loving him because he's not happy and funny every single day.
I've always had friends in my life (I'm in my 40s now). However, all friendships I've had have fizzled out for various reasons. Maybe they got to a point where we both entered a different stage in our lives and we no longer had much in common, or maybe it became increasingly difficult to maintain contact because of geographical distance, flakiness, lack of interest.... All reasons that basically boil down to a lack of strong attachment.
I currently have 3 close friends I see regularly and while I like them very much and enjoy seeing them, being with them is in no way comparable to being with my DH. I'm not at ease in the same way, there is not the same feeling of unconditional acceptance and I am always aware that the friendship could end at any time.
Perhaps there are some people who have very strong feelings for their friends, similar to romantic love, and therefore have stable friendships, and others who don't form close friendships because they don't develop the same depth of feelings?

I know you're joking or partly joking, but either way we don't know how another person feels or what they want in reality. Your personal disbelief is just that, and based on your own worldview.

I guess the question am I an outlier for not having or wanting friends is the same if someone doesn't have or doesn't want a partner. As you're long as you're happy like it, what does it matter?

Is it something that makes you unhappy?
Is it something you want to change?
Is it something you could alter if you wanted to eg. with therapy or behavioural change?
What do you think people's motivation is, when they suggest change might benefit you?

exactly, just not for me, i had a meeting at the school the other day and came out at 9.40 to see the same mums still standing outside the school gossiping! 40 minutes after drop off, i find myself avoiding them or going a different way to avoid them.

So those schoolgate mums weren't your people - there's no real reason they should be. Just because you have children, there isn't necessarily a worthwhile connection. Good friends are hard to find.

It doesn't mean women friends are all like those schoolgate mums - after all, you're not like it.

I don't think either that women are more gossipy than men, having overheard many male conversations, sometimes about their wives & partners. It's a sexist trope.

I'm autistic and have adhd.

When I was in my 20s I had loads of friends, or what I thought were friends, but really they were more friendly acquaintances. I was a massive people pleaser and collected people wherever I went, and ended up knowing loads of individual people.

Now I am older I have 3 maybe 4 friends from school and University that have stayed the distance, but whom I see rarely.

I have stopped doing all the chasing and am happier living a quiet life, and allowing things to naturally progress with people I come into contact with, but I no longer force the issue.

I find people hard to read and cannot be bothered with the exhaustion it entails anymore. I hate small talk and really dislike gossip, which alienates me further.

I have dh and dc and the few friends mentioned, and that is fine by me.

no one is, i haven’t made friends anywhere as i have no interest in friends, these are just women that attempted to befriend me. if i wanted friends id try to make some. dame way i want a partner so actively start looking for one.

thats what i think im more like too, i have a few acquaintances people i would say hello to maybe even a quick chat but we are not friends i dont have any of their numbers and i wouldnt meet up with them.

I didn't say all women were like that, or even that men were not like that.
Maybe "my people" are out there somewhere, but I haven't found any yet, and seem to manage ok without.