DH seems to like another school mum!

[litteredbeing]

So he doesn’t even talk to her, and neither do I for that matter, we do not really know her, but we see her at parties and football and I’ve noticed my husband looks at her. She has long brow hair, tanned skin and slim, I would say not that different to me so possibly why he looks. But it’s really pissed me off! He never normally looks at anyone. Do I just brush this off as him being a bloke unaware or have a word!? First world problem obviously.

Personally I'd be telling him you have seen him looking at her and asking him why?
How certain are you he doesn't know her?

Maybe he is just shocked at her crazily long brows?

Ignore it. It’s ok for him to fancy someone, as long as he’s not acting on it.

‘I noticed you checking her out. Stop it’

🤣

Leave the bastard.

So what if he looks at her, as long as it’s not in an ogling, creepy way?

I always flip these things onto their heads:

If your DH clocked you looking at other men, would you accept your DH noticing and being jealous?

OP is his wife. The woman he made vows to.
Looking at other women while his wife is stood next to him is totally disrespectful.
If he wants to go round openly perving on other women he shouldn't have got married.

Looking at someone is not 'openly perving' on them.

Both men and woman are very capable of finding other people attractive, even if married .(As long as it's an occasional appreciative glance and not overtly staring or disrespectful)

It's madness to think we can't be attracted to someone else if married. But marriage is so much more than attraction and if you truly love your spouse, you'd see it for what is it - a passing attraction that will be forgotten in a couple weeks and nothing more.

What do you mean by looks? Openly stares for 30s? Multiple quick glances?

"She has long brow hair, tanned skin and slim, I would say not that different to me so possibly why he looks"

Those are attributes you are seeing as he looks at her, though. You can't know what he's thinking, and if you ask him, he'll know you're insecure and don't trust him.

FWIW, I am married, but I'm often oblivious to where my husband's eyeballs are facing because it doesn't matter to me, as long as they've not rolled back into their sockets of course, that'd be bad.

It pretty much depends on what you mean by "look at"
I doubt he never looks as anyone. He is, presumably, not walking around with his eyes on the floor at all times. So what is that you are thinking of specifically when you say 'looks at her"?

It really depends what you mean by ‘looking’. Glancing around, staring, looked at her each time but only for a second..?

Exactly so.

I hate this policing of people’s eyeballs in relationships.

I didn’t mind my husband appreciating women because he always made me feel like number one

privileged world OP rather than first

Absolutely, the controlling tone of that post was really distasteful, you can’t even look, and if you do you’re perving and you die from the waist down when you get with me.

if he’s just having a look he probably doesn’t even realise he’s doing it. I’m sure we’ve all spotted someone attractive and looked, I’d be hugely concerned if my husband never found another woman attractive, that would be abnormal.

as long as he’s not cracking onto her, flirting etc, then it’s fine.

Howver I’d consider is it you think she’s attractive so you’re on hyper alert if he even glances as her as you’ve maybe some jealousy and insecurity issues?

Just take the piss and let him know you’ve clocked him. Do the Vic Reeves thigh rub and ask him why he’s looking at her like a pubescent schoolboy.
In a secure relationship it’s a completely harmless and entirely normal part of the human condition.

I hope you don't take this out on this mum

It is a normal part, but rubbing your thighs and doing a vic reeves impression is not.

Your vows must have been different to mine.

So what were your vows?
Are you in an open marriage?

Omg what a jump!

polarised view there

Get him a pair of blinkers, like race horses wear to keep them from eyeing up the other fillies. 🙄

Oh how I miss the laugh emoji, this really tickled me