Can cheating sex addict husband change?

[LovingDog]

My husband has been cheating on me for around 4 years. Multiple online sexting loads of women every day - some from his past. I don’t know if anything physical has happened and I don’t believe a word he says. I just found some of the messages - tip of the iceburg. Can someone overcome sex addiction like this and be faithful?

He says he will get as much therapy as it takes

No, they can't, and probably don't want to.

No of course not. Sorry OP.

This man had no business getting into a relationship.

https://chrisjonestherapy.co.uk/

I trained with this guy- he is the best in the business and can help your husband in terms of therapy

You deserve better

If I were a gambling woman, I wouldn't put money on it! 4 years is a long time to have been deceiving you OP, are you sure you can forgive that? I'm not sure I could 😕

There is a pattern of behaviour that is unlikely to change.

I suppose the real question is why would you want him even if he does change?

There has to be a better option for you surely.

I think you'd be better off finding therapy for yourself and working on your self esteem, OP, not wasting time and money on him and his wandering dick. That way, you'll start to see you deserve better.

The concept of sex addiction comes from the puritanical US Churches in the 1980s and spread into modern psychology despite little basis in research. He is unlikely to change and will not unless he wants to.

The real question is are you prepare to forgive him? Can you ever trust him again? I couldn't.

He's not a "sex addict", any more than an obese someone can say they are a "food addict"

Almost all men love having sex and would have as much of it as they could get. But when they settle into a relationship they make a commitment to the person they are with and agree to forgo others. Your partner didn't value you enough to do so. Leave him.

This man is either an addict and will likely have to hit rock bottom before truly aiming for recovery (in which case you leaving him may speed his recovery) or he’s lying about being an addict so he has an excuse to cheat on you.

Neither of these are good. Step away. Addicts destroy lives, whether it’s drugs, alcohol, gambling or sex, compulsive people are liars and always looking for their next high, you’re unlikely to have a happy, stable relationship with this man.

These men never change with free will, he has been lying for at least 4 years op, he doesn't care about you, treat yourself better than he ever has and leave him.

Sex addict my arse.

Yes, people can change. But they will only do it if they want to. If he’s doing it because you want him to? It won’t happen.

My husband of 14 years did this. I was oblivious for so long.
He’s a selfish, treacherous twat badger cunt rotting arsehole…
They never change.
The old Mumsnet adage prevails here: if somebody shows you who they are - believe them

Leave and let him change without you around.

He won't.

Do you really think he will change? He's lied to you for years. How many times must he have looked into your eyes and lied to you. Do yourself a favour and bin him off.

The simple answer is No

I've been to sex addicts anonymous meetings. They were very jolly compared to the alcoholics and narcotics meetings - and hilarious: they were all getting off with each other! Most of them were cokeheads as well.

Even if your husband could or would give it up, OP, he's been pulling the wool over your eyes for years. How will you ever know if he's telling you the truth about anything? He hasn't respected your feelings or your marriage at all, what makes you think he'd suddenly start?

You know the answer yourself

Have some self respect and get rid, 4 years, that’s not changing.

I hope he has a lot of disposable income in that case. Therapy is expensive.

What do you want @LovingDog ?