Fair arrangement - new partner and financials

[pancakesallday]

Hello. My partner and I are planning to live together in the future. I have kids with my ex husband who live with me full time. His kids are adults.

He would let his (mortgaged) property and move into my house. He has suggested he pays all household bills (this possibly wouldn’t include groceries, I think we should share this cost). I bought the house outright and don’t have a mortgage.

Would you say this sounds fair?

I don’t want to add too many details but please ask any relevant questions.

You say that your DC were in early primary when their family broke down and their DF left. They are now only 7 and just 9. How soon after their father leaving did you start dating this guy and when did you introduce him to them?

How are each of them dealing with the distress they experienced in the family home due to their father’s behaviour and its impact on you. How are each of them dealing with their family breakdown and the loss of their father in their lives?

My concern is how are each of the young children healing from a very traumatic time before the focus from their remaining parent is potentially shifted elsewhere?

Also what is the age gap between you and your partner?

You should get a cohabitation agreement to make sure he cannot make any claim on your property. It’s just admin and any solicitor can draw one up.

in terms of contribution I think he should be paying an about which approximates to the rent for a room in a shared house. Paying all bills is likely to be around that I would think, so it seems reasonably fair as you have three children. It also means he’ll be directly paying extra costs like increased council tax and any subscriptions he wants.

The thing I’d be more careful of if he earns 2.5x your salary is the “extras”. If he expects you to pay half of meals out, theatre trips, luxuries ect you could easily end up spending more than you should.

How much will.his rental income be and how much are your bills and his mortgage

When you say "tgey divided assets without solicitors", hopefully tgey dud get a financial court order. If tgey didn't either if them can go back at any time in the future and maje a claim against their assets. I k ow a lady who this happened to, he spent his share then came back and got more.

Whatever you agree, also agree a future specific date at which you will review things to tackle any issues that have arisen or created issues.

Me. I live with my partner and he pays the mortgage, and I pay the bills.