Divorced 45 years but daughter tells ex everything about my life

[Swizol]

I'm been divorced from my kids father for 45 years...yes ...45 years....I have 2 daughters who contact ex one of which tells him everything about my life...i have been remarried for 40 years.

Does it need to matter?

I have been divorced from my ex for 45 years and remarried for over 40 years but one of my daughters tells my ex everything about my life.

My parents have been divorced 35 years and I sometimes tell them about each other. My son tells me a lot of personal stuff about my ex, too!

Why is it an issue? Presumably there’s no contact with him now your daughters are grown up?

Everything? Can you give us some examples of things she told him that you'd rather be didn't know?

Your post is pretty vague. It's normal for a daughter to talk about her mum sometimes isn't it?

Can I ask what age roughly you are? The length of your two marriages must mean you are over 100?

Have you told you daughters to stop gossiping?

For me personally, it wouldn't matter. Your daughter is your only connection with your ex so I presume your must crop up in conversation between them. After so much time though, I wouldn't be that concerned by it. Let them gossip!

As long as it’s factual eg mum went on holiday, mum got a new car etc

i get it though I’m the same with my mum telling my brother things about me. I don’t want them to know I have a new car / been on holiday/ lost weight/ had an accident/ moved house/ changed job because they do not like me

She didn't say she had previously been married for 45 years. 🙄
That would annoy me too. How are you finding out what he knows? Does he contact you to ask you about things or does your daughter tell you what he's said?

Good point.

Why the eye roll emoji?
Assuming she was in her twenties when married for however long, then divorced 45 years, then remarried for 40 years.
What are you rolling your eyes at?

😆Reading comprehension plus a basic idea of maths are useful.

No it's not a good point 😂 I despair of comprehension on here. She has been divorced for 45 years, and remarried for 40 of those years.

Read again and engage your brain - then roll your eyes at yourself.

OP - how do you know what your DD is telling your ex husband about you?

Oh dear......

"Please understand before one of us dies" 😁

I say good on that poster for opening the NYE champers already

I think you have to accept that people talk. However pull her up if the details are personal or private. Set the boundary loud and clear. ‘I don’t mind you telling him XXX but I don’t understand why he wants to know after 45 years. But if you talk about XXX then I’m afraid I will have to rethink what I let you know, and it’s going to cause a great deal of awkwardness.’

Don't be so silly! She re-married whilst divorced from the ex. She has been divorced from him for 45 years and got married during that time. She wasn't alone for 45 years. Do you see?

In my defence I'm not usually awake at this time 😆

Just tell them to stop gossiping, that it's rude.

Divorced in 1980ish, remarried in 1985ish.

Maybe she was only married for a few months!

If OP was married at say 20, couple of kids, then divorced at 23 or 4 - few years later, meets and marries someone by say 28 - could now be in her 60s, divorced from H1 for 45y and married to H2 for 40.

It depends what they are saying - my parents are divorced and tbh, through a natural instinct I just don't bring them up with each other. I have a relationship with each of them, they don't have one with each other anymore.

I've been divorced for 25 years and have no idea what my kids tell my ex about me. Our kids are adult and therefore we have no communication. I expect he'd be horrified if he knew what they tell me about HIM, to be honest.

But anything they tell him is only the stuff that they know about or that I tell them, in the knowledge that it's likely they will talk about it among themselves, with their partners and, yes, to their dad. Anything I don't want them to know about I keep to myself - they are my kids, not my confidantes.

You can be divorced and remarried at the same time

She didn’t stop being divorced from her first husband when she married her second husband!