I'm looking for some advice it's a bit of a long story, I have a 20-year-old, 18-year-old a 14-year-old and a twelve-year-old. We're very close family and i never anticipated having any more children. Unfortunately, a couple of years ago I had a breakdown due to childhood trauma. It led me to drinking excessively, and I have mental health issues. I ended up in rehab where I have dealt with a lot of stuff. I'm now sober. I'm feeling a lot better. while I was in rehab. I met a man, a lovely, lovely man, and we had a strong connection instantly, once we left rehab, we began a relationship together. While it's frowned upon by some, we are proven that wrong. We get on so well l, we are the same age. We've got the same interests. Same desires, and we're absolutely smitten With each other, we've known each other nearly 3 months now. And we've been together for 6 weeks. Unfortunately, about seven years ago, he had a little girl and she didn't make it due to complications, he then went on to have a little boy who is now 6 years old. Due to his addiction and trauma from his past, his only just started to try and rebuild his relationship with his son after not seeing him 2 years. He had a partner who faked a pregnancy. Just before he went into rehab. While he was in rehab.That partner died due to alcohol abuse.
Years ago I was raped, which led to pregnancy, and I terminated the pregnancy. It absolutely destroyed me. I went on to have my third and fourth child later on. And in an abusive relationship fell pregnant again and was forced to abort. Again it absolutely broke me. I never imagined having another child. But I find myself pregnant already. I can't imagine terminating this pregnancy for several reasons. Especially the fact i've been there,Done it and it broke me. And I don't think I'd be strong enough to do it again. I have not told my boyfriend yet. I'm trying to find the right time. And the right words, I'm terrified that this will be too much for him. And he will want me to abort. but at the same time, I think, with what he's been through. Maybe he will actually be quite happy. One of my 4 kids will be ecstatic. The older 2 won't be happy. The youngest will be indifferent.
My mental health and my age are obviously factors in this decision, as is my boyfriend's views. We have talked about our future together and how we feel. We have been through hell and back to meet each other, Unfortunately, at no point did we discuss the potential possibility of having a child! I'm just looking for anyone who might have been in a similar situation. Or some advice on a good way to tell him from what I've told you.
Thanks in advance.