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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Husband called the police on me. Does this effect on my DBS?

57 replies

Atifa · 16/12/2025 11:45

My husband and I had argument and he asked me to leave the house. So I decided to take my two years old with me and go to my mother in law house. But my husband said if we leave the house he is going to call the police and he called the police. Last night police came and asked us a few questions and check the baby.
And honestly I don't know why my husband called the police, he does stupid thing when he is angry and I tried to be safe and take my son out of the house. And also I think my husband wants to make my DBS unclean as I am doing a teacher training course and I have been offered a good job opportunity. But I need to be sure my DBS is clean. And I think my husband wants to make this impossible for me.

Can I ask if anyone been in the same situation? Does this effect on my DBS? How can I check this? Should I called the police and ask? Should I ask my Health visitor ?

Thank you

OP posts:
BillieWiper · 16/12/2025 11:51

Someone calling the police even though no crime took place and they briefly spoke to you for welfare reasons would not appear on any DBS. It's only if you've been found guilty of something criminal.

I strongly suggest you leave your husband though. He sounds like an unhinged bully. Kicking you out then calling the police because you left?!

I hope you can tell him to go to his mother's house. And if he keeps trying to come back then YOU can call police on HIM for harassment.

Shittyyear2025 · 16/12/2025 11:54

Wouldn't affect it at this stage.

This sort of behaviour is incredibly likely to escalate though. You should strongly consider whether your relationship is a healthy one and make steps to secure your and your DC's future by leaving him.

sandyhappypeople · 16/12/2025 11:57

What was the argument about that he ASKED you to leave and you did? Did you feel that you were somehow in the wrong?

What would he do if you were to refuse to leave?

Atifa · 16/12/2025 11:57

BillieWiper · 16/12/2025 11:51

Someone calling the police even though no crime took place and they briefly spoke to you for welfare reasons would not appear on any DBS. It's only if you've been found guilty of something criminal.

I strongly suggest you leave your husband though. He sounds like an unhinged bully. Kicking you out then calling the police because you left?!

I hope you can tell him to go to his mother's house. And if he keeps trying to come back then YOU can call police on HIM for harassment.

Divorce is not an option for me at the moment, I am not mentally prepared for this and honestly I have no support. My family are not around me and the only family I have is his mom. But he doesn't like her mom and he doesn't like me to go to his mom. My DBS is enhanced and I believed in enhanced DBS everything is more detailed, that's why I am more concerned ...

OP posts:
CountryGirlInTheCity · 16/12/2025 11:57

No there will be no record on the DBS certificate. A police caution goes on but is removed after a period of time of no further issues come up (I can’t remember the time period but it’s something like 3 years). A conviction stays on permanently.

You haven’t done anything wrong so there’s nothing to record. The fact you believe he is out to sabotage your chances of teacher training is concerning though. You need to keep an eye on that….

Atifa · 16/12/2025 12:06

sandyhappypeople · 16/12/2025 11:57

What was the argument about that he ASKED you to leave and you did? Did you feel that you were somehow in the wrong?

What would he do if you were to refuse to leave?

I am not sure how started as I was so unwell because of the flu. He asked me to put the tissues in the bin. I told him I do that and he is the one who not put the dirty tissue in the bin. He gets upset asked me to leave, he always asked me to leave the house when he is not happy with me. And honestly in the past few days I was so unwell, I lost my granddad, I was extremely busy with work and uni and the flu as well.
So tbh, I have no idea what I did wrong? I know the past few months was so hard but I cannot understand him calling the police

OP posts:
PaperMachePanda · 16/12/2025 12:08

No it won't show up but I have a few things you really need to do. The first one like asap.

  1. Go to your GP and ask them for a mental and physical wellness check for both you and your child. This will stop anyone believing any future unfounded accusations.

  2. Start logging his behaviour. You can do this with your GP.

  3. If you don't feel you can leave now then play the long game. As soon as you've finished your training and secured your job please leave. Call woman's aid and get out.

Atifa · 16/12/2025 12:10

CountryGirlInTheCity · 16/12/2025 11:57

No there will be no record on the DBS certificate. A police caution goes on but is removed after a period of time of no further issues come up (I can’t remember the time period but it’s something like 3 years). A conviction stays on permanently.

You haven’t done anything wrong so there’s nothing to record. The fact you believe he is out to sabotage your chances of teacher training is concerning though. You need to keep an eye on that….

Yes, I did not expect him to call the police tbh. And he says that his not regret about this make me more concern. He also said he has nothing to lose anymore which makes me worry

OP posts:
Dollymylove · 16/12/2025 12:10

You havent done anything wrong. He is a controlling bully. Please try and get your ducks in a row and get away from this awful ma

Atifa · 16/12/2025 12:16

PaperMachePanda · 16/12/2025 12:08

No it won't show up but I have a few things you really need to do. The first one like asap.

  1. Go to your GP and ask them for a mental and physical wellness check for both you and your child. This will stop anyone believing any future unfounded accusations.

  2. Start logging his behaviour. You can do this with your GP.

  3. If you don't feel you can leave now then play the long game. As soon as you've finished your training and secured your job please leave. Call woman's aid and get out.

Edited

Thank you for this.

I will do that, I am going to call the GP now. My husband has mental issues and he recieving medicine for that. I'll try to be less home and more out and increase my son nursery hours to avoid contact.

OP posts:
dobbylan · 16/12/2025 12:24

I called police on my ex-DW as she was drunk and hitting me (twice in the last 3 years), it went to Social services as kids were there and likely will show up on Clares law for the DV only.
DBS only shows cautions/convictions etc. so in your case, it won't

whattodoforthebest2 · 16/12/2025 12:24

I can see why you're concerned about your DBS record, but equally concerning is that he is mentally unstable and that your child is exposed to that behaviour. I would suggest if you can trust your mother in law to look after you and put your interests first, perhaps you could stay with her for a longer period? You need to try and distance yourself from him by whatever means possible. As already suggested, get your GP's support and gather family and friends around you who you can trust and who will look out for you.

Cakeandcardio · 16/12/2025 12:25

I was caught up in a situation where I ended up with a caution from police (not actually my fault but was the fault of the person I was with). I am a teacher and it is fine. What has happened to you is much less.

However, an abusive husband is no life for you. Make plans to leave.

Starandflowers · 16/12/2025 12:25

He should get done for wasting police time. Honesty the services are so stretched and your idiot husband called the police because you didn’t put tissues in a bin

You are not doing your child any favours having them live with such a man. Start looking into leaving even if it’s not immediately

dobbylan · 16/12/2025 12:26

From experience, I would leave this situation because one day you will snap and actually be taken even when he is in the wrong and it will affect you for a life time(work wise etc).

As drastic as this may sound, you always have to put your own wellbeing/welfare first before anyone's mental health

dobbylan · 16/12/2025 12:28

"Divorce is not an option for me at the moment, I am not mentally prepared for this "

You do realise your mental health and career will be worse when it is affected the day you actually get taken by the police right? weigh your options and do not stay just because financially you maybe worse off etc

ReleaseTheDucksOfWar · 16/12/2025 12:29

@Atifa are you a British citizen? Do you have a right to remain here?

Your husband is very abusive. You and your child deserve much MUCH better than this.

Atifa · 16/12/2025 12:34

whattodoforthebest2 · 16/12/2025 12:24

I can see why you're concerned about your DBS record, but equally concerning is that he is mentally unstable and that your child is exposed to that behaviour. I would suggest if you can trust your mother in law to look after you and put your interests first, perhaps you could stay with her for a longer period? You need to try and distance yourself from him by whatever means possible. As already suggested, get your GP's support and gather family and friends around you who you can trust and who will look out for you.

All I am trying to do is to find a job and be able to financially support my son and myself and then maybe separation of my husband continued to be like this...
I recently started to share everything with my family and his family as my husband getting out of the control sometimes. But honestly I did not expect him call the police on me! I just called GP and asked for wellbeing test, so hopefully we will do this on Friday or January . Thank you

OP posts:
Pearlstillsinging · 16/12/2025 12:38

Atifa · 16/12/2025 12:10

Yes, I did not expect him to call the police tbh. And he says that his not regret about this make me more concern. He also said he has nothing to lose anymore which makes me worry

Then you need to get out to keep yourself and dc safe. Can you go to MIL to start with? Please speak to Women's Aid who will help you to see a way forward asap.

GreenGold75 · 16/12/2025 12:43

There is no way this will appear on an enhanced DBS. This is a well-known tactic used by abusive men. He is trying to prevent you from becoming financially independent. Please confide in your GP and get on record how this has impacted your mental health.

Also contact Women’s Aid because he is very likely to do this again.

GreenGold75 · 16/12/2025 12:45

PaperMachePanda · 16/12/2025 12:08

No it won't show up but I have a few things you really need to do. The first one like asap.

  1. Go to your GP and ask them for a mental and physical wellness check for both you and your child. This will stop anyone believing any future unfounded accusations.

  2. Start logging his behaviour. You can do this with your GP.

  3. If you don't feel you can leave now then play the long game. As soon as you've finished your training and secured your job please leave. Call woman's aid and get out.

Edited

All of this, I completely agree.

Atifa · 16/12/2025 12:50

ReleaseTheDucksOfWar · 16/12/2025 12:29

@Atifa are you a British citizen? Do you have a right to remain here?

Your husband is very abusive. You and your child deserve much MUCH better than this.

No I am not. I think when I find a job I can support myself and my son I can apply for British.

OP posts:
Letthemeatgateau · 16/12/2025 12:52

GreenGold75 · 16/12/2025 12:43

There is no way this will appear on an enhanced DBS. This is a well-known tactic used by abusive men. He is trying to prevent you from becoming financially independent. Please confide in your GP and get on record how this has impacted your mental health.

Also contact Women’s Aid because he is very likely to do this again.

I agree with this. All of it. Please do what this poster has suggested.

There is a bit of misinformation in this thread though. An enhanced DBS check doesn't just show cautions and convictions. For teaching roles, an enhanced DBS check would be undertaken and can include any information the police force consider to be relevant. Not this though OP, so please don't worry.

Atifa · 16/12/2025 12:53

GreenGold75 · 16/12/2025 12:43

There is no way this will appear on an enhanced DBS. This is a well-known tactic used by abusive men. He is trying to prevent you from becoming financially independent. Please confide in your GP and get on record how this has impacted your mental health.

Also contact Women’s Aid because he is very likely to do this again.

Thank you... I am going to do that

OP posts:
BestZebbie · 16/12/2025 12:58

Even if this was something to put on a DBS the situation is just that a welfare check was requested as your husband thought you and the child were missing but you had taken your child to visit his mother - being a diligent family member won't bar you from teaching!