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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

i don't fancy my husband anymore.

7 replies

picnicblanket · 10/06/2008 19:19

and its really getting me down

we have 3 children, 2 of them under 19 months, but i'm not particularly tired, all children sleep well.

i don't know what it is, i used to fancy him, i want to fancy him, but i just don't.

i need advice

i have changed my name for this as dh would be devastated if he saw it.

OP posts:
nickytwotimes · 10/06/2008 19:20

Could it just be a phase? Has anything sparked it? Do you still have a libido or is thsat the issue?

NomDePlume · 10/06/2008 19:21

how long ago did you stop fancying him ?

could it be hormonal thing ? Do you still have a sex drive or is it just him that you can't seem to see that way anymore ?

VeniVidiVickiQV · 10/06/2008 19:22

Do you fancy anyone or is it just him you don't fancy?

Original poster
picnicblanket · 10/06/2008 19:46

it could well be a general lack of sex drive, i'm not sure. not sure when it started, probably when i got pregnant with no 3, i went completely off sex which didn't happen with my older two children. i have found dh attractive since then but not consistently iyswim?!? sort of off and on, but never so off as at the momont if that makes sense.

oh i feel so guilty.

i am still breastfeeding, maybe that could be it? (i didn't bf the older ones).

has anyone else experience this? any tips?

OP posts:
nickytwotimes · 10/06/2008 19:47

Afaik, bfing can affect your libido. That could be it.

gagarin · 10/06/2008 19:59

IMO breast feeding can fulfil a lot of the "touchy feely" physical needs so they aren't so urgent. And the hormonal levels that inhibit ovulation can also damp down the cycle of desire that lots of women experience.

Don't give up on him - it will prob come back later!

Ajjjames · 23/08/2016 09:08

I know this post was started sometime ago and don't know if you are still following it but I am in a similar situation myself and wondered how yours resolved?? I've been married for 7 years, have 2 lo's who are 4 and 5 and have been feeling this way for a while. Just lately I can't bear to be intimate with dh. It's nothing he has done I just don't have the desire anymore 🙁 Like yourself I can easily pleasure myself I just can't bear the thought of him touching me and I don't know where to go from here. He has asked if there is someone else etc and there absolutely isn't. I just don't want him. I love him I really do, he is the best dad and generally very supportive etc. I need to raise this with him but I'm not sure how to go about it ☹️ X

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