Sitting in the back with the children.

[LambethLil]

My mischevious side wants to post this in AIBU. I think it is really wet when the mother sits in the back with the DCs. Puts the DP in the position of chauffeur. Assuming that when the mother drives the children are unsupervised what can be the reasons and doesn't it undermine the partnership between parents.

My dp acts like he's doing me a favour if he lets me drive.

I don't know why he thinks it his automatic right to be the one driving.

He also refers to the car as 'his' when its blatently 'ours' - I paid for the bloody thing as well.

Its strange he's like this because he's not like it about anything else

Until recently we had 4 kids but only a 5-seater car, so if we went anywhere I had to go on the roof rack. Does that count as soft and pandering to the children?

Phew! thanks lambethlil!! I was spooning mush this time, but I have bf'd in the car when we were stuck on the M25 not moving and ds was screaming.

DS what did you do? Until recently I would have double strapped them- I read that you should NOT put a seatbelt over a child on your lap and extrapolated that it was OK to sit them side by side. IT IS NOT. As I found when pulled over by the police with 7 kids. Everyone was safely strapped except mine who were side by side in the front- thats why they were seen. I wasn't allowed to drive off until I'd 'lost' a child.(blush)

My mother used to insist on sitting in the back of the car with my sister and me in the front seat, as:

a) dad's driving scared her...so she puts her youngest dd in the front with him?!?!

b) made her feel like a child again, and I was 'mum'

I was in my early teens I think when this started to happen.

Because of that...I'm going to agree with you...its odd!

"I think it's a sort of chest-beating man thing."

it is. i hate it when my gf drives not only because she's not a great driver, but because i like being in control.

Fortunately we did have two cars so we usually took two children in each. It didn't actually happen that often, and we recently bought a 7-seater so I have the luxury of sitting next to dh rather than in a separate car! No way I'm giving that up to sit between squabbling children

Thanks for the confirmation theBOD DH is quite a right-on sort of chap but I suspect this is one area where his inner-caveman shows itself. If I drive he is on the edge of his seat the whole time. Inspite of the fact that I am a much better driver

yep i'm the same. i'm always pressing on a brake pedal that isn't there when i'm in the passenger seat. tell him not to worry chauvinism still has it's place in this modern equal world.and that place is on the road (seeing as we've had the gyms and the pubs taken off us by women.)

I sit in the back when we're on the M25. It scares me and I can't see so much from the back. I use my children as a human shield in the front seat .

well you can judge all you like you mean lot!
I am very nice. and we have a crappy old passat so I sit in the back with two youngest DC's so that humungus DS1 can sit in the front. The sight of poor boy sitting with his gangly legs squished into seperate footwells became too too sad.
I am smallish and slimish so fit much more comfortably. And i tend to pick fewer fights with small annoying siblings.
so judge away

Not at me pagwatch. I agree with you.

oops. Sorry Orm

OK so we have dogs, long legged adults, pukey children and gangly sons. Posters with these excuses are let off.

FF is your dh particularly manly on the way back from lunch- thats when my DP particularly likes me to drive (sceptical emoticon)?

tee hee, I think it is so bizarre and funny

my sil always does this with her SEVEN year old

And is said DN a little, ahem, spoilt? Interesting how many in laws do this!

It is only my hubby that drives at the moment, because of my back operation. We used to "fight" over who got to drive.

However, we all feel that it is our car and not just one person's car.

I tend to sit in the backseat on longer journeys with my daughter, as my son falls asleep and then it is easier to talk whilst my hubby concentrates on keeping to the speedlimit and getting us there safely.
But it is pretty much a matter of musical chairs in our car, although hubby and son tends to sit in the front because they use it every day to get to and from nursery and hubby's work.

Can I just ask if it also a problem to you how we sit at home. Who is supposed to sit where in the sofa and at the diningtable?

Lambeth! Yes, totally - she totally rules the roost!

sil still clambers behind her in softplay places too!

Well, if it is OK to be judgey about wet mums sitting in the back, LL, allow me the privilege of being extremely judgey about your cavalier approach to your children's safety. Unless I read your post wrong, and apologies if I did, you seem to have had two young children strapped into one front seat belt. That is far more judgeworthy than being a bit PFBish about keeping a child company in the back.

more, maybe thats why I notice. Dining room table is OK, but we can't all sit comfortably and watch TV together. Two smallish sofas and 5 people and dog don't fit! Unless ther's a car seat involved, more, I'd defo get in the front.