Do you actually believe there is someone for everyone?

[Idontthinkibelonghere]

Meaning relationship wise.

I was reading (under different user name) an old thread of mine, talking how I’m not dealing with being life-long single well at all, there were so many comments of stating the title, thiught it was bs people say, and now years later that thread, can’t say that there’s been anything that would change my mind.

I’m sure there’s multiple. I do feel very cynical of people meeting their ‘soulmate’ 17 miles away though 😂
Im sure there’s multiple are men available in all corners of the world who would align with you perfectly, but it’s a matter of getting out of Milton Keynes and finding them 😁

Personally I think it depends on what your looking for

I think there's plenty of people who you'll rub along well with, and both tolerate each other and enjoy each others company. But perhaps not be crazy in love or crazily attracted to. You can form relationships that work quite well with a lot of people, but maybe not your "soulmate"

There are some people I've met who are very difficult people, and I cant see anyone who would be willing (or should have to) put up with them longterm, but even these people do manage to find some poor sod. Generally if your personality is not horrendous there's probably someone out there for you

I'm single by choice, having left a long marriage. Don't think I am weird.

Being on your own is brave choice and comes with a lot less responsibility and issues towards a partner.

Blimey - I’ve been on a fair few of those trips as a singleton and didn’t realise I’d be treated as the token weirdo. Of the single people I’ve met it’s usually been a case of being happy single, or common interests in the trip and wanting a bit of company and having things organised for them. Not having a dig but on last summer’s trip it was definitely a couple who were the odd ones 🤭.

For me, I just assume it’s because I’m not pretty, I’m not a girly girl (more outdoorsy), I can’t flirt, and I’m an introvert who likes her space for part of the day.

I’ve been on a few touring trips like that as part of a couple or with friends. Yes there have been a couple of oddballs but most of the singles were perfectly normal people 😂

Yes, but not in the youhaveonesoulmate type thing. There's a large number of people you could be happy with, but it's not some mystical plan where you will just guess his/her number or have everything in common. It's just finding someone you get on with and who makes you happy, and then deciding to be happy with some compromise on both sides.
It's the one who is always complaining about her girlfriend/boyfriend to everyone online and IRL, and dumping them because they chose to wear a top that clashed with hers, or is the wrong star sign, or whatever.

I think there are a lot of potential someones for people who are (a) agreeable, straightforward and easy company, with rock solid mental health or (b) willing to put up with a lot of shoddy behaviour.

I think people find it harder to find a partner if they are quite rigid, or have the type of poor mental health that doesn’t come with great personal magnetism and charisma built in, or don’t find socialising easy, or don’t like the sorts of activities and environments where you’re likely to meet and mingle.

As a PP said, there are also those who might date a lot of people but can’t make a long term relationship work because they quickly become clingy and suffocatingly needy.

I also think there are also some people who just don’t give off any kind of sexual energy - so however lovely and attractive they might be, they’re just not showing up on anyone’s radar in that way. I have one male and one female friend who are like this - both long term single and would have liked partners. Such lovely people but it’s as though they don’t produce the right pheromones somehow.

I honestly don’t think it’s as much to do with looks as people think - if anything the less conventionally attractive people I know have had more successful and long-lived relationships, while very attractive people tend to attract people who want them as a commodity.

I agree with what other people are saying here, it's not that there's someone out there for you, as in there's only one person, I think there's lots of people out there, I mean there are 7 billion people in the world or is there eight now, it's a lot. And even accounting for the ones that don't speak your language that you'll probably never meet, that's still an awful lot of people. There's a lot of people out there who are so compatible with you, your values and everything that's meaningful to you, it's just hard. It would be nice if all of us had an emotional resume printed out that we wore like a giant placard everyday, so we could read our histories our likes our dislikes our fears our strengths and then decide who would be best for us... The search is the hard part. Especially when you think you found one that's just right for you and then they change or have hidden something from you or do something that completely blind sides you. Even if you're pretty emotionally intelligent, you can still be blown away by something like this. It's enough to make you wonder. But I think that there's lots of people out there for us. Not just one.

No.

If there was, I think the "universe" would make it easier to find said person. Unfortunately i believe some people are just destined to be alone

No.

No not all the singles have been strange. But some of them have definitely been very explicably single.

No. Some people are such monumentual pricks that no one in their right mind would put up with their shit.

Everybody gets judged. I wasn’t implying every singleton has been weird but a fair few have been understandably single. As for your description of yourself, a lot of that applies to me and I’ve been married for forty years.

A good starting point to meet your 'soulmate' is to see someone and BOOM...you just love everything about them.
Of course lust doesn't always turn into love, but it's a great beginning o a possible lifelong match.

I do wonder if some people go through life never experiencing that initial strong attraction, so think they haven't yet met their soulmate.

I agree!

No, I don’t. I think for some people they have the potential to make many different romantic connections, including at the same time for people who are not monogamous. Others like myself, are more happy being single and rarely meet anyone they comment with. Some people jump from person to person because they can’t be alone. I really think it depends on the individual, their personality values and feelings towards relationships and also themselves. The hallmark notion of ‘soulmates’ and enduring love however, is utter nonsense.

But I think if someone meets their partner when they are young, and they stay happily together till they are old, they have met their 'soulmate'.
It doesn't mean in a different time or different place they wouldn't have met someone else they could have lived happily with though.

No I think it’s more about meeting a compatible person at the right time. Then you have to love them enough to weather the storms and be willing to compromise. I married a man at a young age who wanted a family just as much as me. Those shared values have kept us together.

I have a few friends who have been long term single and I can’t now imagine them meeting anyone. I don’t think they would cope with the comprise and sacrifice of long term relationships.

I’m slowly moving towards the idea that life long loving relationships aren’t possible (at least for me).

We change as people as we get older. Our needs and wants change as part of that and it’s not always in synch with those we’re in a relationship with (sadly).

And when we are in one, we have to cherish it and do our best to make good memories and bring happiness into each others life’s.

It's a numbers game. There are billions of people in the World. Tens of millions in the UK. Tens of thousands within quick and easy distance of every one of us. There are probably dozens, if not hundreds of "perfect" potential partners within a few miles of each and every one of us.

Of course, the issue is identifying them and building a relationship with them.

Harder as time passes as they'll get "snapped up" by others and become unavailable once they're in long term relationships.

The key, I think, is to make sure you're "open" in the nicest possible way to meet new people, so that when you cross paths with someone potentially suitable, you don't, accidentally or on purpose, ignore them nor push them away. You need to get "out there" and meet people, talk to more people, make eye contact with more people, go to more hobbies/clubs/socials/events/voluntary work, etc. You're not going to meet "Mr/Miss Right" if you stay at home watching TV all day, and then rush around on the few times you go out avoiding eye contact and not making small talk with people!

No, I don't think that.

I'm the opposite. I've had two soulmates in my life. Neither started with lust! Both were friends/colleagues before we became romantically involved. Both were very "slow burns" as we slowly got to know each other, both over several months and seeing both at the same time at points during that period. Definitely no initial "Boom" at all with either of them. But none of the three of us were the "heart over head" kind of person - we all definitely thought with our heads, hence not rushing into anything. Stayed lifelong friends with the one I didn't finally choose too, even to this day nearly 40 years ago - I could probably have married him and been happy ever after, but I preferred the other one who I married instead! No regrets.

But as we see in real life, there is usually "someone" who will put up with their shit for whatever reason. Some people are just desperate for a partner and will put up with almost anything.

I think that if you want to be in a relationship, there will be someone out there you could have a decent relationship with. You have to be willing to put in the effort and it might take a long time to find them.

'The one' doesn't exist. 'soul-mates' destined to be together - it can sometimes feel like that, but I don't believe there's just one person out there made for us.

Some people would rather be single, are happier single, and that's brilliant. They aren't bothered about finding a partner and that's cool.

Some people are so desprate to be in a couple (for societal / insecurity / practical / whatever reasons) that they will commit to someone who's absolutely not a good fit for them.

It's very easy to find a partner if you want one. But much harder to find a good, decent person who will genuienly enhance your life (and you theirs).

I don’t think there’s one specific person out there do everyone. I believe we can be compatible with multiple people and it’s all about finding someone who matches your level of mutual respect, communication and morals etc.

My husband is handsome, funny, earns well and has a good personality however you could say that about the vast majority of men you come across. The factors that make us work are that he’s honest, can communicate well, keeps his word and considers me in every aspect of his life.