Do you actually believe there is someone for everyone?

[Idontthinkibelonghere]

Meaning relationship wise.

I was reading (under different user name) an old thread of mine, talking how I’m not dealing with being life-long single well at all, there were so many comments of stating the title, thiught it was bs people say, and now years later that thread, can’t say that there’s been anything that would change my mind.

Not at all. I think there are multiple people you could build a happy relationship with, not just one. I’ve had 3 significant relationships in my life, one of them I was married to. If any of them had behaved differently I might have stayed. Now looking for number 4 and hopefully the final one. But my life is good in the meantime if that doesn’t happen anytime soon.
I think that’s the part some women struggle with (not all though) and they stay or get together with men who don’t behave well to avoid being single.

I agree, it’s not just one person for one person, there are several /many who could be ‘the one, it’s really a numbers game. The more you get out, travel and talk to people the more likely you are to meet people you like, could love and will be happy with 😀

That all said, you don’t ‘need’ to be in a relationship to be happy! And if you’re not happy, being in a relationship won’t make you so. Sort your issues, sort your life, get out and be happy. If nothing else you’ll have a full, happy life!

I think there’s multiple people in the world we could be really in love with and have an amazing relationship with. It’s just whether we cross paths with them or not due to circumstances. I don’t believe in just one person in the whole world we can be truly happy with

I agree that there are lots of people suited to each person. The problem is actually meeting those people! And avoiding red flag relationships.

Fate and the stars aligning at the right time, although you can give them a nudge in the right direction by doing activities where you maximise encounters with people with the same interests as you, or through a wide network of friends and colleagues.

It’s not easy, especially if you are not naturally outgoing.

And internet dating is scary stuff with a load of time wasters. Sifting through for the good ones would be soul destroying I imagine, from stories I’ve heard.

There are good people out there, desperately hoping to meet someone like you too. Stay positive. Build a good single life. My mantra used to be. I don’t need anyone but if a good man came along who enhanced my life, then that would be great. And he did eventually.

And I’ve never even met one…. 😭

No, I think that kind of thing is nonsense. No such thing as 'the one' or anything like that.

What is your dating/friendship history @Idontthinkibelonghere ?

I don’t believe that at all. If you wanted i’m sure you could get a partner but I don’t believe it was fate you met and they are your soul mate etc. Largely due to high divorce rate. These soul mates often have a limited shelf life!!

No.

There wasn't for me when I was young and lovely, there certainly won't be now I'm middle aged and plain as dry toast!
I don't actually want anyone in my life now. They'd just get in the way and I'd have to talk to them.

Where are you looking? Do you have any hobbies or interests and attend any meetups where these like minded people are? Start with things like that. It gives you something in common to chat about, to share. It is the reason a lot of affairs begin at work, things in common, building things together. I am not suggesting you have a relationship with a married person, just that things in common part.

I believe there is someone for everyone but also not one person fills all your wants and needs which is why we have friends. I believe you can love and be loved several times over, not just one soul mate.

Nope

Absolutely not.

Apart from anything else, in life you meet a lot of people who at first glance look completely unsuited. Some seem to get by fine for decades, others crash out. I can never predict which.

No why on earth would there be?

I’ve been single for 15 years, I’m sure if I met enough men from all over the world I would find one that I could be happy with, but obviously I’m never going to be able to do that so I’m going to remain single not because there’s no one out there for me but because my ability to meet enough men is limited.

I don’t believe in the one. As for people who naturally steer away from relationships, I don’t know if they could benefit from working on their issues to open up to a relationship or whether they are better off being completely self sufficient. Everyone is an individual so it won’t be the same for all of them.

No. I would find it very difficult to meet someone as I am very picky but also not very attractive!
I am a single mum of two with a full on, full time job. I like being spontaneous and I don’t like anything that feels like control. I don’t want to live with anyone ever again and I don’t want more children.
I don’t want to date anyone with children. I realise that makes me a hypocrite.
I also find 90% of men my age very boring and I’m sure they would find me exhausting.
So in answer to the question there probably is someone for everyone but maybe just the wrong time? So perhaps it would be entirely unrealistic for me to meet anyone now who wasn’t a predator, cock lodger, paedophile or someone who wanted a stepmom for their children but in 20 years it might not be so difficult.
Thats what I tell myself!

This is pretty much where I’m at, minus the lovely part - I was never pretty, was young at one point though.

The last two sentences made me laugh! I can totally see that and hopefully can reach this mentality.

I think people thought this was about some silly soulmate thing, I meant more in the line for people who aren’t necessarily hot commodity and is there hope. Not picking from a selection some ’fairytale’.

Thats a hard one. My cousin has never had a BF or any sort of relationship. She has a very long list of requirements and considers men "unstable" or "mentally ill" for all sorts of very ordinary reasons eg earning under £30K pa or not owning a home, not having a degree etc. She sees herself as a real catch. It is odd as she always tells me how amazing DH is and she wouldn't have considered him - an artist on a low wage. I think some people aren'r comparable with relationships.

I agree @heartofsunshine. Some expectations are so high they screen out perfectly nice men who’d treat them well in favour of the box ticking Instagram friendly life they want to project. They’ll probably never be truly happy. My DSis did that for so long and she’s eventually given her head a shake and settled down with a lovely man who is so kind to her.
Whereas I just want someone to grow old with, warts and all. A kind, decent, emotionally intelligent man who treats me well and appreciates me. No marriage, or sharing of finances to unravel if it goes south.
There’ll be someone out there who fits the bill, probably multiple people. Just got to put myself out there and at some point we’ll cross paths.
The key is being happy with your life in the meantime.

Feels like most posters have misunderstood your question as being about 'the one', I took it to mean 'do you believe that for every individual there will be other individuals who match well enough to them to have a shared life together' and yes, I do think that because relationships come in many forms and there are so many humans about and people change over time.

I think about this a lot.

I’ve been on a few group holidays (Explore, Exodus that sort of thing) with my DH and apart from widows/widowers, we often say that you can see why the single people are single. It may just be the type of person who goes on these trips but some of the single ones have been downright weird and others just very difficult to deal with, even for just a week. (That’s not to say that some of the couples haven’t been odd, we might be one of them). So yes I think there are some people who aren’t destined for coupledom.

No

Hang on, though, not being in a relationship doesn’t mean you’re self-sufficient.

No definitely not. Besides many people don't desire somebody. And quite a few never meet anybody nice ever.

Also most people end up just making do from what I can see.

I prefer single.

I think there is someone for everyone, if you are open to people who might not match your checklist.

However, there are plenty of people who are fundamentally selfish and therefore should not be in a relationship; steer clear of them and find someone kind and dependable.