Did your parents sleep separately?

[Bdrm]

Without giving context or a reason why I’m considering this, please can people tell me if your parents slept in separate rooms when you were growing up? What were the reasons why and do you feel that impacted you in any way? Like did it skew your view of relationships or anything like that? Also are your parents still together? TIA

Mine slept together up until they divorced at which point they slept in separate houses obviously.

I would personally hate to sleep separately to DH, despite small dc, his snoring, my shift work. I just like knowing he’s there.

Yes they did, well mum and stepdad. Not sure either of them would have been impressed had my dad tried to squeeze himself in there too!
Dh and I share a bedroom but one of us will sometimes decamp to the spare (mostly me as Dh is much earlier to bed and to sleep than me). I absolutely love sleeping in the spare room, it’s a sanctuary with no snoring and a tv with Netflix/Sky etc for all shit tv viewing in the very late and very early hours for me.
I would quite like to just set it up as my room tbh, I love dh but I’m a light sleeper and if he’s snoring I can basically say goodbye to sleep unless I move.

Me and hubby do now. I cannot sleep in same room as him anymore. Sleep is too important.

Mine always slept in separate rooms. They're still together but it's a dysfunctional and not happy relationship.

My parents did, but they hated each other and eventually divorced. The sleeping separately was the least of their issues and I was already aware from a young age that they had a very bad relationship so I didn’t think much about it.

Until I properly left home in my early twenties, then my mum nabbed my room. My dad snores terribly. They stayed together until she died though.

My grandparents were in the same bed until my granddad went to the hospital where he died - and she sat up all night with him holding his hand until he passed. And he snored much worse than my dad, could wake the whole house!

I think they skewed my view on relationships more than my parents as I didn't want to ever settle for my parents' relationship when I'd seen my grandparents' was possible.

My parents slept in the same bed but it wasn’t a happy marriage.
My husband suffers from sleep apnea and sleeping separately has saved our marriage.
I truly don’t think you can connect any dots here. Our kids are fine with our set up.

Mine slept together until my dad died, in their bed with my mum holding him.

Growing up, all of my friends' parents slept together, but nobody had a spare room and most siblings shared rooms too.

My parents always shared a bed until very recently. My dad has MND so now he has a hospital bed and she has a single bed of her own next to him. They can’t bear to sleep in separate rooms. Seems weird to me as I’m perfectly happy sleeping apart from my very light sleeper partner!

Both 70s here, sleep separately, game changer, just pragmatic.

They slept in the same bed while they were together. Then they split up and sold our family home. My mum and I moved in with my dad while we looked for a new house. At this point, they were divorced though so slept in separate rooms.

I have to say, I a little bit dream of sleeping in my own bed! I am someone who lives space and quiet, but it would make Dh sad. 😂

There's nothing wrong with seperate bedrooms OP. Sleep is king and it doesn't have an effect on the relationship if you don't let it.

Bed sharing comes from when large families needed to sleep together to stay warm. It's a con.

My parents slept in single beds in the same room due to dads snoring and when they moved, mum then insisted on her own bedroom for the last 20 years. They both slept better for it.
I sleep most of the time on the sofa, have done for a couple of years now. Partner snores far too loud and earplugs didn't work, despite wearing them for a year or so I'd creep down and sleep on the sofa so often that most of the time now I just cut out the middle part 😅plus the sofa is so much more comfy.

We are affectionate and get on very well so sleeping arrangements work for us. Lack of sleep does not make a happy marriage.

Mine always slept together from age 19 into their 80’s, until we lost my darling Dad.
I had always slept with DH since we met in 1999 - but unfortunately he snores so loudly now, he has had to sleep in the spare room in recent years - or live with a murderous woman in perimenopause.
I wish he didn’t snore so loudly. But I need sleep.
He brings me up a cuppa each morning and hops in for a chat and a cuddle etc.
We have reassured the kids it’s because of snoring and not anything they need to worry about.
They get it. They’ve heard him snore! 🙄

Me and my husband have slept in separate bedrooms for about three years, since our children were 6 and 9.

My DH is an HORRIFIC snorer though so they 100% understand why I won’t share a room with him.

Me and DH are otherwise very happy and our children see us loved up and affectionate with each other all the time so I don’t think the fact we have separate bedrooms makes them think there’s something wrong with our relationship. (Hopefully).

Not when I was growing up but they did in old age when they had the house to themselves and there were more bedrooms free - my mum had her bedroom really cold with a fan on and my dad was more frail with several health issues and needed it warmer. They still stayed up and went to bed at the same time as they had always done though. They remained a loving couple right up until my dad passed away ❤️

Married 50 years, separate rooms for at least the last 10 years. Very different body clocks!

We share a bed until one of us, usually me can't get to sleep because of snoring, then I decamp to the spare room for a blissful night's sleep.. It works wonderfully.
I prioritise my sleep now I'm 50 something, it's absolutely essential to my mental health.

My parents slept in separate rooms,I think it was because my Mother was an alcoholic and she drank in her room.They didn’t get on,although they were married for 40years until the alcohol killed her when she was 61.

I slept in the same bed as my husband until he died.Now I sleep alone and love it,I can’t even share a room with anyone on holiday.

We never did but we do now, in the last 2/3 years. I can’t get a wink of sleep with DH in the bed with his constant noises of one sort or another.

Can’t comment on dp as ddad died when I was a baby but me and dh sleep in the same bed at different times as he works nights and on his nights off i usually end up in dd bed now she has left home as he snores so loud

Also I love having the window open no matter what the weather, I sleep so much better with fresh air.
We start of in the same bed and when it's time to actually go to sleep I go to the spare room, open the window, snuggle down with my thin duvet and sleep like a log . My H has a double duvet, electric blanket and the radiator on... utter hell for me😂

My exact experience.

DH and I frequently sleep apart as we are both annoying people to share a bed with. Our kids are well over 18.

Settee for my hubby every night, for many varied and complicated reasons.

Children think its solely due to his snoring but thats not the case.

It works for us, we are both relatively happy in our marriage, and enjoy spending time together. No intimacy for a couple of years tho. Not sure either of us are bothered. 14 years married, 3 children.

My parents built an extension to their house when I was 13 and they were in their 40s and thereafter had separate rooms. At that point my sister and I also got our own rooms. I don't remember ever really giving it much thought tbh. I think it was mostly a snoring issue. I know they still had sex as my mum's room was next to mine and I occasionally heard them which was obviously pretty gross to a teenager. When they moved to a smaller place in their 80s they went back to sharing a bed after 40 years of not doing do as my mum said it cut down on laundry. They still had 2 bedrooms so could have continued sleeping separately.

When my oldest DD moved out I moved into her room. I was perimenopausal and just had so many sleep issues. It was great and I'd never share a bed again. Has not affected my relationship with DH at all. We are both happier people when we get a decent night's rest! I find some people's reaction to this hilarious. Common assumption is separate rooms equals no sex. What a nonsense. A happily sexually active couple will not suddenly stop because they sleep in different rooms and plenty of couples do share a bed and still never have sex!