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Original poster

Stupidly sent ex a birthday card

64 replies

ChasingRainbows123 · 06/12/2025 15:03

We dated in 2022 until he sent me a message out the blue saying I'm done & blocked me for no reason in Aug 2022. 4 hours before he did that he had arranged to spend the following weekend together at mine. Not sure why he did that.
No contact then he sent a text in May 2023 regreeting everything he had done & wanted to put things right. All going ok until he went out my door October 2023 & said I'll see you next weekend. During the week he sent message/excuse to say he couldn't see me at weeekend as he had covid. Weekend came & I was blocked again for no reason.
No contact until February 2025 when he came back regretting everything & wanting to meet up to sort this out. We messaged for 7 weeks & every weekend he was busy to meet up. Then for no reason & after chatting I looked at my phone & I had been blocked again.
I just accepted it & thought either there's something wrong with this man or I'm just not what he wants.
Its his 50th birthday today & I sent him a birthday card from me & kids. Posted it as he lives 40 mins away.
Now I just feel so low & crap for doing that.
I haven't heard from him like a thankyou or so its not that.
Think sending him a card has made me feel worse.
How stupid I was

OP posts:
stayok · 06/12/2025 15:06

Sorry to hear all this. He sounds
like a time waster. Maybe delete his number and block him so you’re not tempted again.

RoamingToaster · 06/12/2025 15:06

It’s not like you’ve embarrassed yourself. It was just a card for a significant birthday. I’d just try not to think about him and move on. Given his past behaviour it doesn’t seem like he’d be the type to send a thank you. I think you really need to move on from him. He seems so rude and uncaring.

JudgeBread · 06/12/2025 15:07

I can tell you with reasonable confidence what kept happening - every time he ended it out of the blue, it was because there was another woman and he wanted to end it with you so he could shag her guilt free. Every time he got back in touch it was because things hadn't worked out with the latest woman. Tale as old as time sadly.

Please take this feeling that you're feeling now as a harsh lesson and block him on everything. Stop letting him treat you as his reserve, you're worth more than that!

CookingFatCat · 06/12/2025 15:11

See it as taking the higher ground, or a goodbye, and now you block him and mess with his head!!

please don’t have him back in your life,

Original poster
ChasingRainbows123 · 06/12/2025 15:12

He is blocked.
He blocked me without warning & for no reason. So your left hurt & confused & wondering what happened there.

OP posts:
FullOfMomsense · 06/12/2025 15:18

You know exactly why he blocked you. He doesn't, and probably never did like you. Fuck him off, work on your self esteem and realise what you deserve- it's not a man who blocks you and messages you knowing you'll come running back.

FastTurtle · 06/12/2025 15:21

Well it’s done now, don’t do it again.

Isayitasitis · 06/12/2025 15:41

You obviously reached out for a reason but why?

He thinks he can come and go with you because you've taught him he doesn't have to respect you. He can piss off and pick up again whenever he wants to because you let him do that.

This time you should block him on everything and never leave the door open for him again.

Do you honestly feel like you deserve to be treated this way? Like a discarded toy?
Surely you deserve better than that. You're doing this to yourself now.

You don't need to treat yourself like that and let someone who doesn't deserve you do these things.

Draw strong boundaries and never let someone walk all over you again. Your future self will thank you for being strong

PInkyStarfish · 06/12/2025 15:47

JudgeBread · 06/12/2025 15:07

I can tell you with reasonable confidence what kept happening - every time he ended it out of the blue, it was because there was another woman and he wanted to end it with you so he could shag her guilt free. Every time he got back in touch it was because things hadn't worked out with the latest woman. Tale as old as time sadly.

Please take this feeling that you're feeling now as a harsh lesson and block him on everything. Stop letting him treat you as his reserve, you're worth more than that!

Exactly this.

Sassylovesbooks · 06/12/2025 15:49

I'd say that he dated you for a while, someone else caught his eye, so he dumped you. Then the relationship ended, so he came back to you, then someone else caught his eye and again he dumped you. It's the same cycle over and over again. He's not really interested long-term, you're just a convenience. Block him.

AquaForce · 06/12/2025 15:53

I agree. He's a boomerang boyfriend. Don't prioritise someone who only treats you as an option❤

Original poster
ChasingRainbows123 · 06/12/2025 15:59

Your all right in what your saying.
He wont commit to anyone. Hes obviously one of these men who only thinks of himself & is always looking for someone else for his ego boost & the cycle continues with him.
Thats why the continual blocking with him. He moves onto his next victim.
He probably never did care.

OP posts:
LeftieRightsHoarder · 06/12/2025 18:29

JudgeBread · 06/12/2025 15:07

I can tell you with reasonable confidence what kept happening - every time he ended it out of the blue, it was because there was another woman and he wanted to end it with you so he could shag her guilt free. Every time he got back in touch it was because things hadn't worked out with the latest woman. Tale as old as time sadly.

Please take this feeling that you're feeling now as a harsh lesson and block him on everything. Stop letting him treat you as his reserve, you're worth more than that!

This.

OP, he will keep on doing this as long as you let him, always hurting you and letting you down. He's contemptuous, selfish, treats you like an appliance he can pick up and drop at will -- really a nasty piece of work. Please don't let him back into your life if he tries to do it again.

Ejvd · 06/12/2025 21:33

You really need to work on your self esteem. Maybe talk to a therapist. You entertained this man 3 times! Your standards are too low and you should address that before dating again.

Merseymum1980 · 06/12/2025 21:36

FullOfMomsense · 06/12/2025 15:18

You know exactly why he blocked you. He doesn't, and probably never did like you. Fuck him off, work on your self esteem and realise what you deserve- it's not a man who blocks you and messages you knowing you'll come running back.

Love the f him off comment

CraftyPlayer · 06/12/2025 21:38

I hope he wasn’t in and out of your kids lives too.

Original poster
ChasingRainbows123 · 06/12/2025 22:14

CraftyPlayer · 06/12/2025 21:38

I hope he wasn’t in and out of your kids lives too.

No he wasn't.
He never saw them again after first time he did this in 2022.
I'm very careful that way about men around my kids.

OP posts:
Springtimehere · 06/12/2025 22:20

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Pherian · 07/12/2025 21:11

ChasingRainbows123 · 06/12/2025 15:03

We dated in 2022 until he sent me a message out the blue saying I'm done & blocked me for no reason in Aug 2022. 4 hours before he did that he had arranged to spend the following weekend together at mine. Not sure why he did that.
No contact then he sent a text in May 2023 regreeting everything he had done & wanted to put things right. All going ok until he went out my door October 2023 & said I'll see you next weekend. During the week he sent message/excuse to say he couldn't see me at weeekend as he had covid. Weekend came & I was blocked again for no reason.
No contact until February 2025 when he came back regretting everything & wanting to meet up to sort this out. We messaged for 7 weeks & every weekend he was busy to meet up. Then for no reason & after chatting I looked at my phone & I had been blocked again.
I just accepted it & thought either there's something wrong with this man or I'm just not what he wants.
Its his 50th birthday today & I sent him a birthday card from me & kids. Posted it as he lives 40 mins away.
Now I just feel so low & crap for doing that.
I haven't heard from him like a thankyou or so its not that.
Think sending him a card has made me feel worse.
How stupid I was

It’s not horrible or stupid of you to be a nice person.

I think you would really benefit from some reality though - men behave like he did when they are weighing their options and seeing multiple people.

You were a choice he didn’t make. Do not give that worthless man anymore of your energy. You deserve better.

Noodles1234 · 07/12/2025 21:13

Block him.

Spend time alone, love yourself, have no relationships while you remember who you were and who you were when you wouldn’t have taken this crap.

He doesn’t deserve you and in the future at some point in time your kids deserve a good step father.
Install some inner armour.

BadgernTheGarden · 07/12/2025 21:17

It was a nice gesture now forget about him, if he wants to get back together again just ignore him, it's never going to work.

Summerlovin24 · 07/12/2025 21:34

OP
You MUST block him. You then have control.
Forget the birthday card, that's done now. He simply can't mess you about any more. It's not fair and you deserve more. Believe me you need to be in control. My friends made me block an ex and they were right. I regained control...and my dignity

Summerlovin24 · 07/12/2025 21:34

OP
You MUST block him. You then have control.
Forget the birthday card, that's done now. He simply can't mess you about any more. It's not fair and you deserve more. Believe me you need to be in control. My friends made me block an ex and they were right. I regained control...and my dignity

meganorks · 07/12/2025 21:44

Given the nature of your first break up, not sure why you gave him a second chance. But the third?! Come on now - you knew what he was going to do.

The card was stupid. You've basically sent him a note saying 'despite everything, I'm still thinking of you and I'd still fall for it all over again.' So at some point, when he's out of other options, expect him to be in touch.

HangryBrickShark · 07/12/2025 21:52

He's ghosting you. Its as simple as that. Its an indicator of poor emotional intelligence, kack of maturity and empathy. A passive aggressive way of dealing with things.

The fact he's done it again and again is a way of controlling you and keeping you dangling. I'm sorry but you have done nothing wrong apart from give this loser your time and energy.