Stupidly sent ex a birthday card

[ChasingRainbows123]

We dated in 2022 until he sent me a message out the blue saying I'm done & blocked me for no reason in Aug 2022. 4 hours before he did that he had arranged to spend the following weekend together at mine. Not sure why he did that.
No contact then he sent a text in May 2023 regreeting everything he had done & wanted to put things right. All going ok until he went out my door October 2023 & said I'll see you next weekend. During the week he sent message/excuse to say he couldn't see me at weeekend as he had covid. Weekend came & I was blocked again for no reason.
No contact until February 2025 when he came back regretting everything & wanting to meet up to sort this out. We messaged for 7 weeks & every weekend he was busy to meet up. Then for no reason & after chatting I looked at my phone & I had been blocked again.
I just accepted it & thought either there's something wrong with this man or I'm just not what he wants.
Its his 50th birthday today & I sent him a birthday card from me & kids. Posted it as he lives 40 mins away.
Now I just feel so low & crap for doing that.
I haven't heard from him like a thankyou or so its not that.
Think sending him a card has made me feel worse.
How stupid I was

Why on earth would you do that?
Fool me once shame on them, fool me twice shame on me. Why keep welcoming him back with open arms? Glutton for punishment

You were hoping he'd unblock you and thank you for the card, and then the whole shit show would start all over again.

Get yourself out and about.

Meet friends, join groups etc if you really want a man.

But this is not the man for you.

What's done is done. Don't let him back in your life again, you are correct in thinking he has something wrong with him.
You sound like you're not feeling great about yourself generally. Do something about that. I joined a gym, improved the way I dressed, and I got back into reading. Think about doing things like that - make your life better so you're not so worried about some fool man.

He tried to tell me & his family up north that his wife was cheating & put him out on the street & he had to live with his boss.
He then moved north near his parents & sister.
His daughter has had nothing to do with him for 6 years & she is now 22.
He missed her 18th & 21st birthday.
Something doesnt sit right there.
Maybe it was him cheating

So you knew his dd had nothing to do with him and this didn’t set alarm bells off in your head?

Sorry OP but he’s waved huge red flags right on your face and you’ve completely ignored them and played the pick me game.

Its bloody hard if you have feelings but please work on raising your bar so no more ageing fuckboys can smash through your boundaries again.

no shit Sherlock?

Bloody hell get some self respect 3 times he ditched you and you went running back are you mad ? Should of ignored him after the first time , now you just look desperate.

Some women use their kids as weapons when relationships break down.
I wasn't sure if this was the case here.
I tried to see for myself if that was the case

Any need for that.

It’s no problem, you sent an ex a card . He will reach out to you to say thank you and wanting you back . This is where you should find / use your dignity and pride and tell him it was just a card and thanks but no to getting back together. You are better than that

You thought it’s more likely to be a woman‘s fault that this man’s child has nothing to do with him over the much more obvious reason which is that the problem is him? Ignoring allll the red flags and the fact his daughter is old enough to have a relationship with him if she wants? Has it occurred to you that it probably suits him having nothing to do with his kid, because he appears to be a piece of shit? I bet he moans about it to every beggy ‘cool-girl’ he’s trying to bed. And yet they lap it up and think yeah maybe it’s a rare case of alienation this is such a stand up guy with a great track record maybe I’ll send him a birthday card to whet his appetite for another hook up.

Oh come on. His adult daughter making a choice not to see him coupled with the other red flags and you’re thinking it must be the woman’s fault.

These useless men follow the same script - nothing b ever their fault, always the ‘crazy’ ex.

You're not a naive young woman, you know how life works but you’ve chosen to completely ignore what was right on your face. Ask yourself why you settled for this shit and believed his bollocks.

As others have said. It's obvious what happened. Each time he found someone else to shag so ended it with you. When the other relationship ended, he came back to you as his "reserve". You do the right thing to block him. He'd just keep doing it to you otherwise.

Delete his number. He’s a waster