Page 2 | Stupidly sent ex a birthday card

AffableApple · 07/12/2025 21:59

Please keep him blocked. And try and block him from your brain too.

Also, in your position I'd get tested; he does not care about you, but does like to shag around and keep you on the sidelines. Not a great combination for your sexual health.

justmyluck1234 · 07/12/2025 22:02

I still think you should block him on the event he does unblock you he then can’t contact you anymore and you can move on.

Frugalgal · 07/12/2025 22:06

ChasingRainbows123 · 06/12/2025 15:03

We dated in 2022 until he sent me a message out the blue saying I'm done & blocked me for no reason in Aug 2022. 4 hours before he did that he had arranged to spend the following weekend together at mine. Not sure why he did that.
No contact then he sent a text in May 2023 regreeting everything he had done & wanted to put things right. All going ok until he went out my door October 2023 & said I'll see you next weekend. During the week he sent message/excuse to say he couldn't see me at weeekend as he had covid. Weekend came & I was blocked again for no reason.
No contact until February 2025 when he came back regretting everything & wanting to meet up to sort this out. We messaged for 7 weeks & every weekend he was busy to meet up. Then for no reason & after chatting I looked at my phone & I had been blocked again.
I just accepted it & thought either there's something wrong with this man or I'm just not what he wants.
Its his 50th birthday today & I sent him a birthday card from me & kids. Posted it as he lives 40 mins away.
Now I just feel so low & crap for doing that.
I haven't heard from him like a thankyou or so its not that.
Think sending him a card has made me feel worse.
How stupid I was

Please stop being a mug..

SugarPlumpFairyCakes · 07/12/2025 22:11

Stop analysing him as to what type of person he is. He’s a boring, self indulgent dickhead. Don’t be a sucker for this goon. Or any other goon.

Focus on you. Be fascinated by you. What makes you tick. What makes you feel interested.

Block him. Forevermore.

You are your focus now.

SurelyNotShirley · 07/12/2025 23:39

ChasingRainbows123 · 06/12/2025 15:03

We dated in 2022 until he sent me a message out the blue saying I'm done & blocked me for no reason in Aug 2022. 4 hours before he did that he had arranged to spend the following weekend together at mine. Not sure why he did that.
No contact then he sent a text in May 2023 regreeting everything he had done & wanted to put things right. All going ok until he went out my door October 2023 & said I'll see you next weekend. During the week he sent message/excuse to say he couldn't see me at weeekend as he had covid. Weekend came & I was blocked again for no reason.
No contact until February 2025 when he came back regretting everything & wanting to meet up to sort this out. We messaged for 7 weeks & every weekend he was busy to meet up. Then for no reason & after chatting I looked at my phone & I had been blocked again.
I just accepted it & thought either there's something wrong with this man or I'm just not what he wants.
Its his 50th birthday today & I sent him a birthday card from me & kids. Posted it as he lives 40 mins away.
Now I just feel so low & crap for doing that.
I haven't heard from him like a thankyou or so its not that.
Think sending him a card has made me feel worse.
How stupid I was

Stop enabling him to do this to you. Why do you keep letting him back? Change your number, delete all of his connections, and move on. What would you tell your child, if someone did this to them? Don't bring them up in an environment to think this is OK. It'll be learned behaviour.

Shedeboodinia · 08/12/2025 00:23

Urgh he sounds like a loser. What a pathetic man child.
Why can't he just say what he needs to say, why block you like a petulant child.
You need to be utterly outraged and find him a poor excuse for an adult and never think of him again.
Blocking you is just so, so pathetic and childish.

IndysMamaRex · 08/12/2025 01:45

Girl you deserve better. The fact he dropped you once is bad enough, but repeatedly? No block him & never again allow this user in your life.

StruggleFlourish · 08/12/2025 04:24

OP, don't worry about it. What's done is done. You're not asking whether you should send them a card, you've already sent it. You can't take it back.

You say you feel stupid? Well, it's done. And you know what, it's not like you sent him a birthday card with a pair of your panties in it right? Or a key to the house? You just sent a birthday card for a 50th birthday and that was kind of you. You don't have to feel bad about that. Yeah, he wasted your time and played with your emotions and screwed around, okay, he's a jerk. You're not a jerk. Don't feel bad about that.

You say that you blocked his number so you won't be tempted by messages again, good. Cuz he really is wasting your time. You sound like a really nice person and, sometimes really nice people do kind things that when discussed, other people say why the hell did you do that for? I wouldn't have. Well, hey, you did a nice thing.
It's done now, and over.

SnappyFinch · 08/12/2025 07:58

Delete his number, change your number and email. If you don’t you’re asking for more trouble. Sorry to be blunt but just put all this wasted energy onto you and the kids.

OnlyHasEyesForLoki · 08/12/2025 07:58

It sounds suspiciously like the narcissistic cycle of abuse where he hoovers you back up and then discards you repeatedly while he does the same to others. Glad it sounds like you’ve taken control and blocked him so he can’t do it again. The card was unwise and a blip but hopefully has scared you enough so you keep him blocked forever and if you receive something in the post too please don’t respond!!

Doone22 · 08/12/2025 08:04

Don't be so hard on yourself, we've all done it or something similar.
Use the cringe you feel every time you think about it to help you stay off him. But don't try and think about it if you can because then you're thinking about him.
Good luck

HereForTheFreeLunch · 08/12/2025 08:05

I wouldn't worry about the birthday card. But when he comes back to use you as his backup girlfriend after his next break up please don't let him back.

Whatsthatsheila · 08/12/2025 08:09

sorry to be blunt @ChasingRainbows123 but you know he comes back because your easy for him to come back too.

He’s cycling through his phone book seeing which mug he can message next and its you.

The reason you sent a card is because you were hoping that he’d think “aww rainbows cares” and that this time he’d come back and stay back.

the reason he hasn’t is cos he’s got a better side piece right now- but well done - you may be at the top of the list the next time he gets dumped.

So Yes you are blocked by him - but you need to block him at your end - not be sitting by your phone checking to see if you are still blocked by him. You BLOCK him - and then delete his contacts from your phone so you can’t be tempted to unblock him and so he can’t contact you the next time you reach the top of his list.

stop facilitating this man to use you. It’ll never change

Usernamenotav · 08/12/2025 08:48

He's married

HoppyToad · 08/12/2025 09:00

Delete every trace of him from your life! It will feel good! Take the power back and never, ever speak to him again!

MissDoubleU · 08/12/2025 09:14

You weren’t the only one he was seeing. Let it go.

Dancingsquirrels · 08/12/2025 09:17

Frugalgal · 07/12/2025 22:06

Please stop being a mug..

Show quote history

That's unkind. Would you say a child was a mug if they were being bullied?

Men can be good at spotting weakness and exploiting it

OP, I've had similar experience in the past. My self esteem has increased since then and I think I'd have more confidence to genuinely believe i wanted and deserved more

Original poster

ChasingRainbows123 · 08/12/2025 09:25

Usernamenotav · 08/12/2025 08:48

He's married

No hes not married.
His wife put him out & he has no contact with his daughter.
He was probably seeing others when he wasn't with me.
Nothing genuine about him

OP posts:

Original poster

ChasingRainbows123 · 08/12/2025 09:25

No hes not married.
His wife put him out & he has no contact with his daughter.
He was probably seeing others when he wasn't with me.
Nothing genuine about him

OP posts:

fatphalange · 08/12/2025 09:34

He’s not an ex he’s an aging fuck-boy who used to pick you up and drop you for ego massages and you danced to his tune every single time which is why he knew you were a sure thing for said ego massages.
YOU needed to block HIM. I’ve got no idea why you would send him a card. Keep your kids’ names out of anything to do with casual encounters please they have nothing to do with this man.

JFDIYOLO · 08/12/2025 09:36

Put him behind you.
Look to the future and make yourself a life.
Do you have a job? Hobbies and interests? Friends? Sports?
Keep blocked everywhere. Tell any family and friends you trust and know about all this - seek their support.
Build your self esteem, maybe some therapy.

NorseHorse123 · 08/12/2025 09:37

Don't be so available for him - he’s treated you with such little respect- picking you up and dropping you multiple times. Block him and DELETE his number. You deserve better!

Plumnora · 08/12/2025 10:57

This is exactly the kind of thing I would do, and I'd then overthink it and cause myself immeasurable stress afterwards!
What I get from this is that you are a lovely person and he really isn't,
He's messed you around for years and he knows he could still slink his way back in to your life if he wanted to.
It's classic entitled, narcissistic behaviour. He's shown repeatedly that he doesn't see you as an equal or even as an individual with your own set of feelings. He sees you as a disposable accessory.
You need to make the effort on working on your own self esteem. Men like this have built in radars for women with low confidence and they use them to make themselves feel better.
You are worth more than this.
Forget about the card. It's done now. It was a lovely, kind gesture and that speaks volumes about you. You should be proud that you're such a thoughtful and considerate person. The fact that he's not responding speaks volumes about the kind of person he is. Remember, if he wanted to, he would!
If he does get in touch again, ignore him. You left things with nice gesture, and with no hard feelings. Draw a line under it now and move on x

godmum56 · 08/12/2025 11:32

ChasingRainbows123 · 06/12/2025 15:12

He is blocked.
He blocked me without warning & for no reason. So your left hurt & confused & wondering what happened there.

What happened there is he is a complete shit and always has been. Its not you, its not anything you have done or not done, its him. He's a shit.

fruitbrewhaha · 08/12/2025 12:22

You don’t deserve to be treated this way. No one does. Surround yourself with good people. If you haven’t already got those people, do something new to find them. Take up a hobby, a sport or volunteer at a charity. Make your life so full there isn’t room for shits like this. Be busy and happy.

when he appears out of the woodwork, which he inevitably will, you will be in a much better place to resist him. You’ll wonder what the fuck you were doing falling for his lines and accepting his crumbs of affection.