Husband and girl at the gym

[EmilyBabe]

I wondered if I could have some opinions / advice please.

So basically my husband has this woman ( friend ) at the gym that he gets on with. They always chat, she asks for his advice all the time about workouts etc. I personally feel they’ve got too close as I feel she flirts with him a lot when he tells me about some of their conversations etc. She parks right next to his car ( its a big car park ), and constantly moans about her boyfriend to him, and talks about their problems.

Anyway, 1 day last week my husband couldn’t make the gym, but his training partner was there, and was chatting to this woman. He basically asked her what was going on, and they ( Her and my Husband ) seemed a bit close and whether she liked him or not. She basically turned her nose up, and said a few nasty things about him, basically saying she didn’t find him attractive and how he can be a bit creepy / pervy always chatting with her etc. ( He told my husband all this after )

I thought this was obviously very mean, especially if they’re friends. And doesn’t make a lot of sense considering how flirty she is with him. I’m just wondering what her game is?

My husbands friend has said to me a couple of times how flirty she is with him and how even her boyfriend apparently calls my husband her ‘gym boyfriend’. It just doesn’t add up. My husband says 9/10 she will approach him ( not the other way round ), to ask about gym workouts, or to just offload about her boyfriend.

In 1 way I’m kind of happy if she doesn’t fancy him, but at the same time I feel
a bit sorry for my husband as he had always spoke quite highly of her before. This woman is a lot younger than him, so I’m just wondering is she just using him to get advice and offloading to him about her boyfriend because she has no one else.

My husband was quite hurt by the comments and feels awkward now when he sees her.

Either he is being creepy and pervy with her, in which case he should back off...or she/his friend is claiming he's being creepy and pervy in which case he should tread very carefully (and probably back off) because they're not words you want to have floating round attached to your DH. I think if I was him, I'd just remove myself from what could be a very messy situation and find some new gym friends.

Op it could be any way, it could be your dh trying to cover himself, could be his friend doing as said above or maybe she’s embarrassed/ worried her boyfriend will find out. The only one who knows is her

I think you have had a thread before about this. It's all very weird and somebody is lying

I personally believe men and women should train in separate gyms. Working out is a personal and intimidating experience. I don’t see any benefits to mixing men and women in the gym, not a single one.

I also think it’s inappropriate for a married man to have a female companion he regularly meets at the gym. That would never be acceptable in my world, though I know others may feel differently. Maybe I’m just old fashioned.

I've read back several times now... and nope... can you clarify what's terrifying?

I agree as in I think they’ve obviously got too close. It’s fair enough asking the odd question, but if she wants to know as much as she does, she needs to speak to an actual PT, or look online. I feel it could be a conversation starter, then it leads on to other things.

So you're annoyed that the younger woman at the gym doesn't fancy your husband?

Where have I said that anywhere? I basically don’t think it’s nice her saying all these things about him, when it’s mainly her approaching him and talking to him. It just doesn’t make any sense. Just looking for any different thoughts / ideas on it really.

Her ott reaction!! Shes into him and is going overboard. Same as when men put down the other woman

Yeah, it sounds like they both realise things have got a bit too close and are now trying to backpedal. If other people have started to notice and are asking questions, then they definitely need to take a step back. It seems like your husband is keeping you in the loop and mentioning her as a way of staying transparent, maybe even for reassurance or to gauge your response to test the water or get a feel for what your views are. It also sounds like she might recognise that she may have crossed a line and is now deflecting blame by making it seem like your husband initiated things.

This whole situation wouldn’t even arise if gyms were segregated. That, and to ban recording equipment in gyms. Or have a separate studio for those who want to record.

I'd be laughing my head off. I hope your H has learned a lesson from this.

She must talk about my husband to her boyfriend a lot for him to call him her ‘gym boyfriend’. He’s probably made a couple of comments and now, as said previously, she’s back peddling a bit, trying to put the blame on my husband. Tbh they’re both probably as bad as eachother.

I don't believe she does volunteer information about sex. Why would she? Especially If she's telling this other bloke she thinks your fella is a perv.

It's misplaced af to feel 'sorry' for him that this woman doesn't fancy him. Do you know how bizarre that sounds?

Didn’t we have a version of this post a few months ago?

Why doesn't your DH shut her down? It can be done nicely.

Is it just her chatting about sex or is he equal in this conversation ?

I think your husband's friend made the whole thing up , because he fancies the woman,but knows she fancies your husband..I think he's stirring and meddling

She told him they barely do it anymore and she’s just ‘had to get used to it now’. How she has a high sex drive, and even mentioned an outfit she dressed up in the other day and that her boyfriend wasn’t interested….

This obviously really annoyed me so I told him to take a step back and just keep it to ‘hello’ and ‘how are you’ rather than any personal conversations.

I thought this initially

Because a good friend would not repeat nasty things said to hurt a friend ,but he did ..

What age range are you all? - not asking in a snooty way - just trying to land this situation in my mind.

So all the information that you have on this is coming from your husband? He's feeding you all of this for a reason. Possibly because he did get too close to her and he is interested in her, but he is trying to make sure you don't suspect anything so he's telling you that she doesn't like him.

This story sounded familiar

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5388719-husband-getting-close-to-girl-at-the-gym

Gut feeling is this is a story to throw you off. You KNOW something is off.

Yeah, I don't know why he's telling you all these intimate details she's allegedly disclosing to him. I'm not surprised you're pissed off but it should be directed at him, not her.

Applause for you and your marriage, I'm sure we are all happy to know that.
This isn't about you though, OP has asked MN because she is worried / concerned call it what you will. Her h might be a prevert, this woman might be testing the waters. OP doesn't know and she's asking for advice on here.
Calling her 'terrifying', fuck know why, isn't helping anyone and comes across as weird in itself.