I went too far will he ever return

[Uturnx3]

I want some kindness as im in the first 24 hours and very teary today. I've been dating and it turned into a relationship for 6 months. Hes been so nice to be around. Lovely dates. Cost nights in, so much laughter and we just seemed right.
Hes hid me from his ex due to a child thats hers but he still sees him at weekends. He was with her a year but knew her for 12. I must be honest she took over our relationship in terms of routines, contact and wanting the friendship back from before. Hes spoken about her negatively and doesn't seem to find her pleasant since going out with her.
As I put more pressure on him to tell her in the new year he's pushed back, hes told other people but not her. She worked out we were talking and he told her we had never met. He said she would take the child away and if I did anything to cause that I'm evil.
The last 2 days he's fully pushed me away and said he wants to be alone and focus on the child. He hasn't healed hes realised. But hes messed with my life and emotions for months to get to this conclusion. We'd got Christmas gifts etc.

Last night he refused to discuss anything and just felt alone with it. He made me do mad i told his ex everything. She said all I am is a rebound and hes used me. She said they have hot close as friends and dhe fid have the door open potentially for the future but now she felt awful. She kept saying how much she meant to him and i was just nothing. Yet I've been alot to him and I've been to work auctions etc aswell as all the fun times.

Hes blocked me everywhere and deleted my best friend off his FB who he knows well.

I'd like to talk through some stuff if I get supportive responses, feeling a tad low. I'm aching at all our lovely times and how he now feels

he didn't love you and you dodged a bullet. Grieve and move on.

You should stop believing every sob story people tell you and become a bit more critical…

I’m sorry that you’ve been duped but he’s done you a huge favour by leaving and not meeting your kids.

Telling you bad stuff about the ex (oral hygiene) is obviously part of the con. I’m not saying that his ex is perfect but logically it helps convince you that he’s not interested in her.

Best case scenario he was emotionally cheating. Worst case scenario he was shagging you both. I think that you need to consider why you accepted this kind of treatment from him when you deserve someone who is proud to be with you. It’s easy to say that you love someone - it needs to be backed up with genuine affection and care.

Gc? Grandkid? I thought you were both very young, are you grandparent age?

He’s 40!!

I thought he was a teen/early 20s!!

Assuming you’re a similar age, you’re way too old to be upset over someone so pathetic and who obviously doesn’t deserve you.

That’s what I thought, I thought these were young adults.

OP, this man is a disaster, with a history of dysfunctional relationships, poor judgement, and dubious relationships with children. (If he has a grandchild, he presumably has a child you don’t mention?) And look at your first post, which says he was ‘nice’. Forget him and focus on your own poor judgement. Why on earth did you think this human disaster festooned with red flags was someone you loved and had a functional relationship with?

Are you actually competing for the attentions of a man who speaks like this about his ex, mother of a child he supposedly loves, someone who sounds vulnerable and unstable if she got accidentally pregnant while sleeping with a dealer for free drugs?? Is this something you want your own children mixed up in? Is this really what you want?

You say you've 'been a lot to him' and 'gone to work auctions' but the fact is you've been seeing him for six months.

In all that time he hasn't wanted to have it out in the open as he clearly didn't see it as that serious.

If you love someone you have no shame in admitting their existence. But equally it's new and not wanting to rush into blended families when kids are involved is a sensible approach.

Your reaction was OTT and he's voted with his feet.

I'd say just try and move on and learn from the experience.

Have you posted about him before OP? The story about taking on his exes child who isn’t his and not wanting her to know about you sounds very familiar

It very much sounds like there was still something between him and his ex. You're well rid of him. Move on and don't look back. It does sound like you were used, sorry.

He's a fucking headcase @Uturnx3

There is not a chance in hell anyone would be near any of my babies if they were made "sad when they smiled". Come on join the dots.

The further you and your children are away from this the better.

He is slobbering all over a child that is some weed dealer's maybe, whilst he wasn't prepared to halt or resolve the family conflict that meant he no longer sees his actual grandchild, but is oddly, like fucking weird oddly, possessive over a child who makes him sad when he smiles.

SAD WHEN HE SMILES.

Run OP and don't look back.

You've had a lucky escape imho. Hes too invested in her and a child that seemingly is not his.
He sounds like a dick. You are worth more than him.
Block, delete and find someone who respects you

He’s remained entwined with his ex. Him blocking you etc is not because you contacted ex, but because he chose her over you despite the fact that he’s been going out with you for the last 6 months. You’ve actually done yourself a favour here. Surely you don’t want to be second choice, or in a relationship where he wants to be with someone else. You rightly put this out into the open. Clearly he was lying to both of you about his relationship with the other one, and is annoyed he’s been rumbled.
Block him, and move on. He sounds horrible.

Obsessed with a child who is not his and he barely knows? Obsessed? Jesus christ.

You’re well rid of him. Exactly the same happened to me. Trust me, you don’t have to be anyone’s guilty secret.

Suspect obsessed is the ops term and not his.

40 and has grandkids!? You both sounds super immature 🫠

Thanks I've read all the replies

Hes blocked me everywhere and deleted my best friend off his FB who he knows well.

That plus what in contained in this post is why you need to move along.

You thought you were special when he was speaking so disparagingly about his ex, when what you should have thought was - 🚩🚩🚩🚩. You didn't need to know about her hygiene, so that was all unnecessary information for whatever purpose.

You were also out of order in calling thos woman just to force his hand. Accept you played a stupid game and lost. Not that he sounds a great loss in any case.

And next time, raise your relationship bar.

OP, it's really obvious that he never actually split up with his partner.

@Uturnx3
Please take some time to read through what you've written. You're better off without him. Your life will be good.
Your misery will pass.

You are better off out of it, leave them to have their drama charged relationship- it will fizzle out between them if there are no other people involved

The fact that he needs to tell you that you’ll never come close to being as special to him as his child is interesting- that should be a given, not a stick to beat you with.

why does he feel the need to tell you this?

But that child isn’t his child. It his ex’s, fathered by her weed dealer, apparently.

And? Biology aside I’d find it quite aggressive if someone felt the need to tell me that I’d never mean as much as a kid. Is it just to get a reaction?