Hi lovely ladies I really would like to vent and some advice please. I will try to make it short as possible ha!
I am 28 and I have been with my partner for nearly 10 years, we have 10 month old twins ❤️
Prior to falling pregnant with my twins I was diagnosed with a tumor on my ovary and I’ve had my ovary removed, I am under cancer watch for the next 5 to 10 years as the tumour was unknown malignancy. I then had 2 miscarriages then the twins yay!
My SIL is the most toxic person I have ever come across, when I was in school everyone in the area knew her as the big scary bully. She is well known to be very horrible and toxic.
About a year into my relationship the horrible comments and digs started. We was all young and would go out drinking with massive groups of us as we all have the same friends (We are all from the same area in London, everyone knows everyone) and at the end of the night it would always be her that caused an issue with someone.
Anytime she caused an issue with me, after addressing it with her I just had to forget about it for my partners sake. He has a very small family so they are all quite close as they only have eachother and my partner hates issues!
Anyway, it got really bad over a year ago where she caused problems at my partners 30th birthday party which I organised. At the end of the party she called me very horrible names and made up some stuff about me to my partner. Of course he didn’t believe her, I didn’t speak to her since then.
I fell pregnant.
I saw her over my pregnancy quite a few times for family get together / funeral etc. Each event she said a dig to me, or a comment under her breathe.
I had a gender reveal party for my twins, and out of goodness of my heart I invited her and her girls as I wouldn’t want my twins cousins to miss out because of her. And guess what? At my gender reveal she ignored me the whole time, sly comments again, and was even rude to my sister and my sisters MIL. I was so embarrassed.
A week before I gave birth it was a friends daughter 1st birthday party, everyone was there, she walked pasted me and pushed my bag so I would notice. She said a comment about my partner buying me a car. She is clearly jealous. So yeah after that I knew once my babies were here I didn’t want her anywhere near me if she can treat me like that when pregnant
A couple months after the twins were born she kept ringing my partner saying she wants to meet them and she can’t believe I’m stopping her seeing them. They kept arguing. So again, goodness out of my heart I’ve text her and said I will be civil with her for all of our children’s sake, and she came round with her girls to meet the babies. We’ve been okay since barely see or talk to eachother but everything is civil.
Me & my partner went out on Saturday night. Our first night out since babies were born. We went with his other sister who is completely lovely, we went to a small event and ended up back on our local pub. The horrible sister ended up meeting us there when hearing we was all together as a few others joined at this point. The pub is 5 minutes from her place. Everything was going well until she had too much to drink and kept making stupid comments to me and about my relationship with her brother. Mine and his relationship is very good but she always wants to say something to get involved or cause a problem. My partner is so confused why she was bringing up these comments to me. So we ended up arguing, and I did loose it as I have so much built up anger with her, I was telling her to stop being so involved with my life and I called her jealous. Some other words were exchanged and she smacked me around the face!
Security removed her in seconds and made sure I was okay, my boyfriend heard and saw it all, he is in so much shock she reacted in that way and agrees I have done nothing wrong. He’s so upset
Of course they have had an argument and they are not speaking. SIL is shocked that he is taking my side?! She is delusional.
I am very happy this has actually happened as I know have a perfectly great reason to keep her out my life for good.
My mum is so angry, she has contacted SIL and they have had a fight. My mum has her own friendships with my SIL’s as she helps them a lot with certain things so my mum feel betrayed by her too now.
ANYWAY the advice I want is what the hell do I do now? Obviously I do not want her in my life or children’s life. But in the future what do I do with family event? For example, my other SIL’s son birthday will be beginning of next year, so I show up even if she is there? If I don’t go, do I let partner bring the twins? Will the rest of his family think I’m wrong for not going to family events with the twins, or not letting my partner take them without me? Then my twins miss out on seeing his dads family at events?
What if it dies down let’s say next year, and my partner speaks to her again? Do I have to now tell him it’s me or her? I feel so sad to put my partner in this position. I’m not saying he will speak to her again, but I never know what the futures holds, right. Please advice 🙏🏼
PS. Me and my mum spoke about reporting it to the police but there is no point to have anymore family drama and it is something I do not want to do, just incase anyone mentions this