Wife hit me, unsure on how to proceed.

[Random3932]

Will keep this very short. My wife has never been aggressive to me in the six years we have been married, nor I to her.

Yesterday we were playing a game and in the course of joking around (with her, with her laughing), I knocked over something she had built in the game. She suddenly slapped me, pretty hard. It was an aggressive slap. No alcohol was consumed by either of us, no drugs etc... This was just out of the blue,

I left and spent the night at a friend's - haven't been back since.

Haven't disclosed the reason why to anyone. Would appreciate some perspectives on this. Will leave it at that. Thanks.

Has she tried to contact you since? Did she slap you in the arm or in the face? Not that it makes a difference

I'd have left too! Has she tried to get in touch?

That's awful, OP. I'm wondering if there is any other abuse from your wife. What's your relationship like? Are you treading on eggshells around her?

Yes. I have ignored all calls/texts.

It was on the face.

No other abuse in our time together.

Sorry, appreciate the original post was sparse on details. Just unsure what to write really. I have to go now but will be back later.

Leave and call the police. Domestic abuse in any form is not okay

If a man hit a woman we would all be saying leave now as he will hit you again and again. I wouldn’t stay in a relationship where there is physical abuse, even if it was only once.

OP, as someone who didn’t get slapped the first time until 2 years in to an abusive relationship, and then went another 3 years before he hit me again, I’d say leave now. It always escalates even if it takes years.

I don't think anyone slaps another person in the face without meaning it. A slap on the leg when joking around can be misjudged and harder than intended, but a face slap is always intended to hurt and be aggressive.

What did her texts say?

I would say there is nothing left for you in this marriage. Slaps should not be tolerated, especially, as you say, it was obviously not a (misguided) "playful" slap but something aggressively done to cause you pain. Its up to you whether you report her or not, but you need to leave the relationship.

If it’s that out of character I would be trying to help her and getting a drs appt. Years ago my totally calm mother punched my son hard on the arm shouting at him that he stole her glue and sellotape ??? (he was 8). I was livid, she kept saying she didn’t mean it she had a headache but I left and told her I’d never see her again I was going to call the police the following morning but was woken in the night to a call saying she had had a massive brain haemorrhage. Sudden violence can occasionally be a neurological symptom if totally out of character .

I’d have left too. Violence is never okay in a relationship.

It would be the end of the relationship for me. Once is enough.

I’d leave. Violence in a relationship is never OK.

What is she saying? Is she apologising?

Erm, has she contacted you?

You leave her.

It doesn't matter the perpetrator, or the reasons, or fuck all else.

She physically abused you. Relationship over.

Did she say anything at the time? It sounds quite bizarre . Not to be tolerated obviously. Had something been building up through the evening that culminated in that or totally out of the blue?

Fair play for leaving and not minimising this.

It's abuse, there's no excusing it and if she didn't it once, there's a risk of her doing it again.

Leave her.

It must have been a big shock OP, to happen so suddenly. No clues to this type of behaviour before? You say no alcohol (I think) but could there have been any drugs involved that you don't know about? Or something really upsetting has happened that she hasn't told you?
I'd hear her out, she's your wife, but only when you're ready. Then take time to consider your next move, report to the Police, which would effectively end the relationship or just end the relationship.

I agree - try if you can to get an explanation, perhaps suggest a medical
evaluatuon as something like this that’s so out of character could occasionally be a symptom of something. I’m not saying to excuse it only to suggest it after what happened to us (see my previous post)

It is not his job to suggest she goes to the GP for a medical evaluation.

She did this because she could and she has been texting him since. He is within his rights to ignore those messages. There was also no mention of alcohol or drugs being used. This is abuse from her and there is no excuse or justification for it.

OP - what if anything do you know about her family background because that often gives clues?.

It’s his wife and this is totally out of character. I’d say a gp appt is very much needed and should be suggested. When someone for example posts about a calm dog snapping the first thing that’s suggested is a vet visit ! Maybe we should apply that same logic just in case. I’d hate anyone to go through what I did .

Again it’s not his job to suggest his wife goes to the GP. That’s her choice to make and what if she refuses to go anyway?. If she has done this once then chances are it will be repeated.