Social services help urgent

NerrSnerr · 27/10/2025 19:52

What did ‘going mad about stuff over the past’ look like? Was he shouting? Throwing stuff? Making lots of noise? If any of those that’s definitely domestic abuse. The threatening to self harm is also hugely risky towards the children. How old are they?

My siblings and I witnessed and overheard all sorts of awful stuff as children. We of course pretended to sleep through it all so to this day our parents do not think we were damaged by it, but of course we were.

AmberLime · 27/10/2025 19:56

Was this a DV prevention order? This is something from the police (as opposed to social care). It's not permanent if so. They are 28 days. It's to give you some breathing space.

You did all the right things by prioritising keeping your children safe. So your instincts are good 🙂 Just do more of the same

ShenandoahRiver · 27/10/2025 19:56

On monday we had a argument over cleaning and he went out and got drunk came back and started going mad about stuff over the past i was ignoring it then all of a sudden he tried jumping out the window and stab himself i called the police to remove him for safety as i had my children in the house so he left the family home, social services came next day and the have put it as domestic voilence which no voilence towards me whatever or the children

Going mad about stuff, trying to jump out the window and trying to stab himself - in front of your children. Can you not see how harmful and damaging this is to them? Violence is not just physical, it's mental and emotional as well.

Original poster

STACEY2019 · 27/10/2025 19:59

Since i have been with him ive had non stop abuse and texts off his exes an also my ex and he got mad over that and no the police allowed him to go and see the baby in hospital when he sobered up and stay with her over night and marked it as low

OP posts:

ShenandoahRiver · 27/10/2025 20:00

It all sounds like a complete shit show and my pity is for all of the children involved.

NerrSnerr · 27/10/2025 20:02

STACEY2019 · 27/10/2025 19:59

Since i have been with him ive had non stop abuse and texts off his exes an also my ex and he got mad over that and no the police allowed him to go and see the baby in hospital when he sobered up and stay with her over night and marked it as low

He can’t be going mad when you have children in the house, that’s the problem. He needs to concentrate on getting himself well enough to be safely around you and the children.

Original poster

STACEY2019 · 27/10/2025 20:02

AmberLime · 27/10/2025 19:56

Was this a DV prevention order? This is something from the police (as opposed to social care). It's not permanent if so. They are 28 days. It's to give you some breathing space.

You did all the right things by prioritising keeping your children safe. So your instincts are good 🙂 Just do more of the same

The police actually took him to.the hospital when he sobered up and let him stay with my daughter so no they havent put no order in

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NellieElephantine · 27/10/2025 20:03

ShenandoahRiver · 27/10/2025 20:00

It all sounds like a complete shit show and my pity is for all of the children involved.

This, is your ex texting because of concerns because of the shit show or is he just as bad?

Comedycook · 27/10/2025 20:03

Honestly I'd be absolutely horrified if social services weren't involved based on what you've told us. Of course they should be.

humptydumptyfelloff · 27/10/2025 20:04

Your poor kids op

be the best mum you can and keep this toxic lifestyle away from your kids

they need a stable well parent rather than two unstable or toxic parents

get as much help and advice as you can and support your kids.

he’s an adult let him sort his life out

ShenandoahRiver · 27/10/2025 20:04

How many children are there - your shared baby and your older children. Does he have other children?

ComfortFoodCafe · 27/10/2025 20:05

Think of your children for fucks sake. They need a stable environment.

Bambamhoohoo · 27/10/2025 20:05

The police and social services have given you a great out of this awful relationship.

Original poster

STACEY2019 · 27/10/2025 20:06

NellieElephantine · 27/10/2025 20:03

This, is your ex texting because of concerns because of the shit show or is he just as bad?

Show quote history

No he lives above in a flat with his girlfriend comes down causing arguments drunk i have phoned police numerous times and nothing gets done , social services are trying to move me away from him urgent

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ShenandoahRiver · 27/10/2025 20:06

It's concerning that @STACEY2019 thinks that they may get back together.
Hopefully not.

ShenandoahRiver · 27/10/2025 20:07

Jesus, your poor kids.

JudgeBread · 27/10/2025 20:08

You shouldn't want him around your children, behaving like that.

Him not being allowed near them is a good thing. For them. You're a mother, it's your job to prioritise them. Especially over an unmedicated mentally ill man who "goes mad", waves knives around and tries to jump out of windows. He's not safe to be around your child, surely you realise that?

MossAndLeaves · 27/10/2025 20:10

Its so hard for you, and so sad when mental health leads to things like this, but you need to put your safety and your children first.

If he's capable of that once, he's capable again. Or of something worse. Someone getting a weapon like a knife is so dangerous, he may get it again in future intending to hurt himself but in the frantic state he's in someone else could get hurt accidentally.
Show your DD pictures of him, ask SS if supervised contact in a contact center is appropriate, but please for all of your sakes and to keep your children, take it seriously not to see him privately. There is every chance they would find out, and if they do and take the children it will be extremely hard for them to then trust you wouldn't do the same again and you may not get them back.

Do you have a support network? Friends, family? If not try contacting local church's and seeing if they run any toddler groups. They are often a cheap or free way of meeting other mums for support and friendship. You don't have to be religious, I'm not and have made lots of friends that way which is so important when you're thrown into parenting alone ❤️

ItsameLuigi · 27/10/2025 20:11

My entire childhood was domestic abuse from my dad. He never hit my mum. I vividly remember being 9 and him threatening to kill himself in my bedroom, holding rope, slicing his wrist and downing pills with vodka. Begged my mum not to take him to a&e so he died but she did. Please never take this man back. I'm very fucked up mentally from my parents selfishness.

ItsameLuigi · 27/10/2025 20:11

Also to add my parents are both mentally unwell and we're unmedicated my entire life. So yes, it was extremely traumatic and abusive and as a result I have BPD, CPTSD and am no contact with either parent.

Original poster

STACEY2019 · 27/10/2025 20:13

MossAndLeaves · 27/10/2025 20:10

Its so hard for you, and so sad when mental health leads to things like this, but you need to put your safety and your children first.

If he's capable of that once, he's capable again. Or of something worse. Someone getting a weapon like a knife is so dangerous, he may get it again in future intending to hurt himself but in the frantic state he's in someone else could get hurt accidentally.
Show your DD pictures of him, ask SS if supervised contact in a contact center is appropriate, but please for all of your sakes and to keep your children, take it seriously not to see him privately. There is every chance they would find out, and if they do and take the children it will be extremely hard for them to then trust you wouldn't do the same again and you may not get them back.

Do you have a support network? Friends, family? If not try contacting local church's and seeing if they run any toddler groups. They are often a cheap or free way of meeting other mums for support and friendship. You don't have to be religious, I'm not and have made lots of friends that way which is so important when you're thrown into parenting alone ❤️

I am not having him back in the property around the children while he is unstable i am just asking for advice like if he got help he needs like year or whatever it takes surely he should be allowed to be apart of his childrens lifes and i would work with social services whatever it takes my children come first

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Ishouldreallysleep · 27/10/2025 20:20

He spunds incredibly chaotic OP. Your priority should be protecting your children from him, not asking how long would be acceptable before I subject my children to him again. Clearly you aren't great at safeguarding your children or choosing suitable men and this is why SS are involved.

Bobbybobbins · 27/10/2025 20:22

I think it’s impossible to say now OP when he would be able to have contact as he doesn’t seem to be managing his MH/drinking very well and presumably SS would want to see him make progress and become more stable. So there is nothing you can do about that - it’s got to be up to him to make these changes. Be strong and the mum your DC need.

IkeaMeatballGravy · 27/10/2025 20:23

As sad as it is that your partner has mental health issues, you cannot trust this man around your children ever again.

Your priority must be your children.

ShenandoahRiver · 27/10/2025 20:27

Why are you even thinking about him?
Your children are at risk from him.