Social services help urgent

[STACEY2019]

Hi im in need of help and very confused at the moment as had baby premture been dianosed with depression since pregnant me and my partner have been together one year our baby is 12 weeks both suffering with mental health i manage mine with tablets and counciling and doctors he doesnt as he in denial.
On monday we had a argument over cleaning and he went out and got drunk came back and started going mad about stuff over the past i was ignoring it then all of a sudden he tried jumping out the window and stab himself i called the police to remove him for safety as i had my children in the house so he left the family home, social services came next day and the have put it as domestic voilence which no voilence towards me whatever or the children he has moved 3hours away and isnt allowed to return back or else my children will go on child protection plan well i dont understand this does this mean forever or till he gets help i know its very serouis but surely if we both co opearate with ss then things can move forward

To answer your question directly - if your children are put on a child protection plan, it will remain in place until they are satisfied the issue(s) have been resolved and your children are no longer deemed at risk.

Op forget about him. He isn’t a concern or priority. Your little, helpless, vulnerable and highly dependant children are! You are responsible for their childhood so stop allowing abuse and violence to be the backdrop of their very brief but very cruciallu developmentally period of their life.

Get up, feed them, take them to school, make sure their uniforms are clean, feed them tea, read to them, do their homework with them and then put them to sleep. Love them and care for them. Repeat. As for the men, you need to forget about them because anyone who picks up a knife around your kids should be absolutely nowhere near them full stop.

I understand what you’re saying but there are far too many instances of where women are allowing violent men into their personal space/home and therefore un fettered access to children. Some of those cases have ended up fatal. Some with long lasting consequences for the children. So what you’re describing as judgement is actually a lot of MNS ringing the alarm bell for OP to see that her poor choices have resulted in a bad situation so please don’t continue to make poor choices for the sake of your children.

It is all pretty shit for you right now OP, and you obviously, like anyone, want at least one person who loves you/is with you, especially with your baby in hospital.
However, you’ve done really well to get the guy out of your home for everyone’s safety, and you will need to keep doing this hard stuff for a while, but it will get better for you.
Social have been very clear with you - it also isn’t their responsibility to help your guy get better/get help etc, he has to also do the hard stuff and do it himself.
The social are content you saw the danger and acted on it, they won’t be content if they think you’re looking to have him back at some point when he has proved to be a risk, so in their eyes you would be ignoring this risk and putting your kids down your priority list. I hear you say in a year or so but they will hear your energy and focus is on thinking of him and potentially wanting to live with him again.
You can ask about supervised access, but again that’s not their real concern to be blunt, and they’re under resourced to assist - they’d expect he asks/goes to court and he makes suitable supervised arrangements and you only agree if suitably and verifiably supervised, and after checking with them first.
Personally, I wouldn’t share your concern for this man with them right now, though may ask about what they consider suitable access arrangements.
There are some good suggestions on getting yourself support on here - look into these. Things will get better though it might not seem like it today - hold on in there and you can do this.

If he's capable of it once he's capable of it again unfortunately.
It's just not worth the risk. He might seem to be doing OK, but life isn't easy and the next time something goes wrong or he reaches the limit of stress he can handle it will potentially happen again, or worse.

People generally have a threshold of what they will and won't do, he's shown his and that is a problem.
It's like how if someone hits their partner in an argument, they might not do it again for a long time, but when you know someone's limits don't stop them doing it you can pretty much guarantee they will do it again at some point.

It sounds like your life has been very chaotic, even prior to the arrival of your baby, with drama by both his and your exes. The fact that your children will be placed on the CP register should you have them around your partner should be sobering for you, and really give you cause to reflect on what your children have seen, heard, and understand. Drunk exes at the door and drama in the form of text messages doesn't go as unnoticed by children as you might think, so all of this potentially impacts on their perception of their - and your - safety.

I appreciate your partner has experienced psychological trauma, however unless he wants that generational cycle to continue then he has a responsibility to address this and actively seek help. While he is unwilling to do that, you and your children need to be distanced from him. I also suggest you take whatever steps are necessary to keep your ex and his exes, and the associated drama, out of your phone and out of your life. It sounds like some aspects of your life are at the mercy of others in terms of housing etc, but there will be things you can and should do, no matter how serious, to show that you mean business when it comes to creating a safe and nurturing environment for your children. You are the sole person who can protect them and that should drive you to do so with ferocity.

I wish you well for your own recovery, and hope your wee one is doing well.

Personally I cannot understand your lack of empathy for others now, having been in this situation yourself as a child.

Ditto the poster who actually said she hoped her own father would die when he took overdoses, because of the effect it had on her!

To me that is a shocking in the same way that you and others have stated your views and opinions, I have stated mine.

OP, once again I wish you all the best for a better future and hope you can come to terms with everything eventually.