Is there something wrong with me??

[Pinkfuzzyoctopus]

Hi,

Quick background: in a long term relationship, split, two situationships (I hate that word but it’s the only way I can describe them), one of them I really, really liked (you can read about that shambles in my previous post), decide to get back on the dating apps.

Here is where my problem lies. I am on Tinder, Bumble and Hinge and I find myself skipping almost every single man. I am swiping or pressing the cross whilst saying ‘nope’. I’ve ran out of men in my local area 😂 I have swiped right or liked a couple then they end up in my inbox and I just get the ick instantly with their shit patter and cheesy lines. Calling me babe in the first message is just 🤦🏼‍♀️

What is wrong with me? I know I am still hung up on my previous disaster so maybe I am scrolling past as I still have feelings for him and don’t want anyone but him but man alive there must be one that can turn my head 😂

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend 🩷 x

Well that’s harsh! I disagree and the OP has communicated what many of us are experiencing in OLD. Available men are poor quality and the ones that look ok to start with often show their true colours quite quickly.
I don’t think she sounds desperate but I do think you lack an understanding of the reality of modern dating. And you come across as rather condescending.
Many of us have ‘worked in ourselves’ and would still like a relationship. We’re dealing with men who haven’t.

Completely agree. I’ve been single 6 years now, my confidence and self esteem is best it’s ever been and I’d happily date if there was a man out there who I felt gave me what I want from a relationship - though I’d never cohabit again.

But despite having a really active social life and having tried OLD the eligible men in my age group just aren’t out there. At 50+ they’re either chasing women 20 years their junior, wanting an instant shag or looking for a nurse with a purse to be their carer - none of the above is in the slightest bit appealing

Another thing about older men, a lot of them don’t have kids but want kids. Instantly that puts women their age or older out of the running as menopause may have set in or you’ve done the children days and don’t plan on anymore. They don’t give a shit because they can have kids through to their old age.

I am (very) late 30’s, went through menopause early so can’t have anymore kids, naturally anyway and aside from that I’ve got children, I don’t want anymore. I have seen some men who I’ve thought were ok but their bio reads no kids, wants kids. Sorry pal but I can’t offer that. You’ve decided to get to your late 40’s, early 50’s and not have kids then want someone to give you kids so instantly they are wanting a younger woman.

Boils my piss honestly.

I’ve matched with men in their late 50’s who then drop into the chat they have school aged kids - some even primary school age.

I was an older mum but my DS is now 21 and so I’ve set my limit at no kids under 18. It might be selfish but I’ve done my years of needing childcare and going on holiday in August - and I’m not going back thank you very much

I live in Ireland & it’s the very same story , I’m 50 in a few weeks & i find it shocking how many men this age still want to play the field & not want a gf or want a few !!!
I never want to live with someone again, but would like male company, someone to enjoy life with , intimacy…
Gone on several dates ,( seeing people here & there ) but there’s always something not quite right ..
They turn out to be either player’s, just fizzles out , I’ve met with nice guys but it’s like we’ve met at a non compatible stage in life , their kids are grown up has happened to me twice , my youngest is 15 , I can’t just drop everything & spend all weekend every weekend with them , I don’t want to , I like spending time with my daughter, just the two of us..
It’s hard to find that someone where it’s all right & the relationship can work ..

It baffles me how anyone over 40 meets a decent partner on these sites.

I’ve never encountered so many rank b@stards in my life. Slim pickings is a complete understatement!

The worst of it is that most of them are incapable of stringing a sentence together and even if they do they are either that dull there’s no point engaging or they start on about sex within a few text exchanges. Seriously mate go and have a w@nk.

Additionally, many men have inflated opinions and egos. They think they are much better looking than what they actually are. I wonder if they have magic mirrors. I don’t know what they are seeing when they look at themselves.

Oh and let’s not forget about the much younger ones who think that “Milf” is that much of a compliment that you will immediately drop your knickers in complete gratitude.

Ive resigned myself to the fact that I will be single for ever. I’m not particularly happy about it but there’s no way I’m settling.

I think a lot of men see dating apps as like a shop for women, they only think about what they want, not that it’s a two-way street. @Pinkfuzzyoctopus i was where you are (2 abusive relationships) and I basically gave up, especially after someone I thought was a safe friend became another angry man who thought he was entitled to change our relationship in a way I didn’t want. Anyway after about five years I met someone organically and we’re very happy together six years on.

i agree that once you find peace on your own, your bar rises up and men have to be a lot better before you’re prepared to make the sacrifices that being in a relationship calls for. So many of them don’t understand this.

Rank bastards 😂😂😂