Is there something wrong with me??

[Pinkfuzzyoctopus]

Hi,

Quick background: in a long term relationship, split, two situationships (I hate that word but it’s the only way I can describe them), one of them I really, really liked (you can read about that shambles in my previous post), decide to get back on the dating apps.

Here is where my problem lies. I am on Tinder, Bumble and Hinge and I find myself skipping almost every single man. I am swiping or pressing the cross whilst saying ‘nope’. I’ve ran out of men in my local area 😂 I have swiped right or liked a couple then they end up in my inbox and I just get the ick instantly with their shit patter and cheesy lines. Calling me babe in the first message is just 🤦🏼‍♀️

What is wrong with me? I know I am still hung up on my previous disaster so maybe I am scrolling past as I still have feelings for him and don’t want anyone but him but man alive there must be one that can turn my head 😂

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend 🩷 x

I don’t understand what that post was all about, calling me judgemental and talking about attractiveness 🤦🏼‍♀️

I went online as my previous guy ghosted after sex and I just wanted to see if I was attractive to others, sad I know. It was mainly for a confidence boost. I only know of one couple who met online and are now set to marry.

You're right, pickings are very slim.

Agreed ..

Hey OP 👋..
I’m shit sick of on line dating, so much so I emailed both dating sites I was on to delete my profile permanently , & not to email me any special offers to rejoin ..
If I’m to meet someone now , I want to meet them irl , & if that doesn’t happen , well then it doesn’t 🤷🏻‍♀️..

From what you say i would take a break if I were you , you mentioned you’re not healed from last relationship..
There’s nothing wrong with you , it’s just a matter of meeting the right person , that’s all . X

Hey OP 👋..
I’m shit sick of on line dating, so much so I emailed both dating sites I was on to delete my profile permanently , & not to email me any special offers to rejoin ..
If I’m to meet someone now , I want to meet them irl , & if that doesn’t happen , well then it doesn’t 🤷🏻‍♀️..

From what you say i would take a break if I were you , you mentioned you’re not healed from last relationship..
There’s nothing wrong with you , it’s just a matter of meeting the right person , that’s all . X

I guess I am just lonely. I spent nearly 18 years with someone so being alone is so alien to me. I don’t miss him but I miss company. It sounds sad I know.

Ah OP , give yourself a break !
Doesn’t sound sad at all , why does anyone want to date 🤷🏻‍♀️..
For company , someone to enjoy life with , intimacy, sure we’re all the same ☺️…
x x

@Pinkfuzzyoctopus Here is where my problem lies. I am on Tinder, Bumble and Hinge and I find myself skipping almost every single man.

Are you sure you are attracted to men?

If I was to look at women on a dating app, and if I was swiping with appearance being the only factor, then I would likely be swiping right on 95%+ of women. Most men would be the same.

Ha ha, definitely attracted to men just not the ones on the dating sites 😂

I'm pretty sure that men on dating sites are the same as men not on dating sites...

You would think. Men I know, walk by, come into contact with via work etc do not look anything like the majority of the men on dating sites.

It’s not just about looks though. I’ve matched with some who haven’t been particularly my type but I’ve liked their bio’s then once they start chatting they are just absolute morons. Making small talk or asking to meet up straight away for sex!

@Pinkfuzzyoctopus You would think. Men I know, walk by, come into contact with via work etc do not look anything like the majority of the men on dating sites.

Generally people look better on apps, because they can choose the pictures that they want to share. I'm surprised you think men in real life look better, and I'm also surprised that you are convinced that you want a man even though you find almost none of them attractive.

You’re annoying me now.

I’m attracted to men. I’m not attracted to the majority on the dating sites. You would imagine that the photos would look better because they can choose but they don’t.

All past relationships have been with men. All very good looking men might I add. So yes I am attracted to men!!

Well,from my past use of a dating app,all the men just want casual stuff.They are awful .I am now over 55 so my choices are limited.Maybe you need a toyboy .
Or like some others have said, just have to break for a while and see what happens when you are out and about.🙂

I completely get you.

Ive had a 23 year marriage and a couple of other medium term 2/3/4 year relationships) and i bloody love men - despite my better judgement 😂

If I met someone who I connected with I’d love to date - though cohabitating is a huge no, I’ve done my time.

OLD is the 7th circle of hell imo. Men 20 years older who look like gnomes getting abusive after a polite no, attractive articulate men who we think we gel with are only actually after a shag, the sheer number of men who claim to be 3 inches taller and 5 years younger.

Honestly I tried and gave up after about a dozen dates that ranged from ok to meh to omfg get me out of here now!!

And the one guy who I clicked with had ED - it’s just not worth the effort

Annoying me also reading her stupid posts 🙄..

Think it’s possibly a disgruntled male 🤣

He’s a misogynist who loves mansplaining to women that having standards and boundaries is being ‘too picky’ and enjoys lecturing us as to why our lived experiences are wrong.

Best not to bite

I could write a book about my experience of a dating app,over a period of a year, none of it shining a positive light on men I'm afraid.I am not really fussy, I have a type but they honestly just expected one thing only after the 1st or 2nd date.Fine if that's what you want too but I think finding someone the old fashioned way is the best option but I'm still single,by choice I might add😆

Men on dating sites are after one thing, and it ain't love.p

Its good to be determined to settle for good. But its better to lower the boundaries and work with what you can get. High demands cannot be met straight away it takes adjustment and time.

I mean this kindly. You are unfortunately being far too judgemental to have any success at online dating. You have to give people a chance. Sometimes it takes a few dates, in person, to feel the sparks and give it time to be interested in someone. Honestly just go on some dates and try to keep an open mind, or you won't find anyone. Good luck x

I completely hear you and have the same experience. I’m successful and objectively non ugly - I don’t want to lower my standards as low as I would have to in order to date the car seatbelt selfie man with no profile, or the dude who talks about his love language being touch, or the guy who uses his entire profile to dictate the kind of woman I should be in order to date him, a mediocre unfit dude with no wit or charm.

An exceptional man is just an average woman. I wish I could be a lesbian at this point 😅

YANBU, I think there are eligible men in there in the younger age bracket but once you hit 40 ish the pickings are slim.

I've not been on the dating sites myself but after I said to a friend "they can't be THAT bad!" I had a scroll and... It really was that bad.

I think when men and women are older it’s a huge gamble to get serious due to mixing assets and children if there are any. I think that’s why many people especially men just don’t want serious relationships.

Men aged 40 to 50 are the worst simply because they’ve either been married a long time or out of a LTR, it’s like a new lease of life to them , I know not all but lots ..
Why they go on dating sites & not hook up sites is beyond me ..