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Original poster

Am I being unreasonable?

75 replies

Newmama2025 · 23/10/2025 16:03

Am I being unreasonable?

My partner wants to take his twin boys abroad for the week next week out of the blue. He was suppose to have them for the week so we probably wouldn’t have seems him much over the week anyway. Our little one is 3 months.

Maybe worth clarifying I have never met his boys we have been together 3 years and he’s always made plans then they’ve fallen through, his excuse is one of his boys suffers mentally and he’s worried about the effects on him, we have broken up multiple times about this issue. He stays over about 3/4times a week.

His reasons is he hasn’t spent much time with them due to work commitments. And it’s the last time he will get to take them alone as we now have a family. Bear in mind he’s been saying this about every holiday he’s excluded me from for the last 3 years because he won’t let me meet his boys.

I don’t know if I’m more annoyed because once again, I feel rejected and left out and now my little one is too. Or because he thinks it’s ok to leave the country when I’m here looking after his 3 month old daughter while he’s sunning it up!

Am I being unfair?

OP posts:
pinkfondu · 23/10/2025 16:04

How old are his twins?

PersephoneParlormaid · 23/10/2025 16:04

Why are you with this man? What a tool.

Original poster
Newmama2025 · 23/10/2025 16:05

12 x

OP posts:
Hayley1256 · 23/10/2025 16:05

I find it bizarre that they haven't met their sister - are you sure he's seperated from their mum?

yeesh · 23/10/2025 16:06

you are unreasonable to have had a child with a man when you have never even met his children. It’s really odd, unless he’s still married of course🤷‍♀️

GardenGaff · 23/10/2025 16:06

Only stays with you 3/4 nights a week?

Does his wife know about you and his baby?

Jellybunny56 · 23/10/2025 16:10

GardenGaff · 23/10/2025 16:06

Only stays with you 3/4 nights a week?

Does his wife know about you and his baby?

This is exactly what I was coming to say!

3 years together yet never met his kids, not living together despite having a child together and only sleeping over a few nights a week… you’re the other woman OP.

WatchingTheDetective · 23/10/2025 16:16

FFS why are you involved with this man? I know it's pointless saying it now but why did you even consider having a baby with him?

StrawberryWater · 23/10/2025 16:18

You realise you're his side piece, right?

Original poster
Newmama2025 · 23/10/2025 16:19

@WatchingTheDetectivei was told I couldn’t have children, fell on by pure luck. I don’t regret my daughter never will.

him on the other hand..

OP posts:
P0PTARTS · 23/10/2025 16:20

Oh blimey OP what a strange situation. Have you actually been to his place?

outerspacepotato · 23/10/2025 16:21

You've been together 3 years and never met his 12 year old twins even though you have a 3 month old with him?

He stays over at your place a few nights a week?

He's excluded you from every holiday he's taken for the last 3 years?

Wake up and smell the coffee. Is he even divorced? Is he still together with his wife? This really does sound like you're an affair partner to a married man.

Pollqueen · 23/10/2025 16:22

Was going to say exactly the same. Have you met his family, friends, colleagues etc?

If it is above board, it's very unreasonable of him to keep your DD away from her siblings? Do the twins know they have a sister?

MedievalNun · 23/10/2025 16:22

Oh sorry @Newmama2025 but I’m another one thinking that you are the OW.

It’s just the whole thing sounds wrong. Which is obviously awful for you now you have your DD but I think the vest thing you could do is split.

strawgoh · 23/10/2025 16:25

I don't think he's your 'partner'. He doesn't live with you and he has a whole other life you are not part of.

Sorry OP, but I think it is time you started getting used to being a lone parent. Flowers

thisishowloween · 23/10/2025 16:30

Oh OP, he's not your partner, you know that right?

RayofSunshine18 · 23/10/2025 16:35

Oh gosh, it really does sound like he has another life that you are unaware of.

The fact you have a child together and he doesn't live with you is a huge red flag.

Have you ever been to his house - the place he spends the other nights away from you? He doesn't have an excuse for you not to have been there if he, supposedly, doesn't have his twins full time..... I wonder where his actual partner thinks he is on those 3/4 nights a week....

Nestynoo · 23/10/2025 17:30

You have had a child with him

and you have never met his children

One of the more fucked up things I’ve read on mumsnet

Nestynoo · 23/10/2025 17:31

Broken up multiple times in a 3 year relationship?

I mean…. You might as well just jump to starting the thread about getting CMS from your ex OP

Nestynoo · 23/10/2025 17:32

Newmama2025 · 23/10/2025 16:19

@WatchingTheDetectivei was told I couldn’t have children, fell on by pure luck. I don’t regret my daughter never will.

him on the other hand..

For what reason were you told you’d never have children?

Whereismyfleeceblanket · 23/10/2025 17:35

Use his trip as a time to claim cms and dump his stuff in the shed ready for him to collect after his trip.
Have you got him as a friend on sm? Keep an eye out for his family holiday snaps...

isthesolution · 23/10/2025 17:37

My guess is he is leading a double life. They don’t know about you. Nor does his wife!

ohyesido · 23/10/2025 17:38

What is his explanation for keeping you from meeting the twins?

TwistedWonder · 23/10/2025 17:41

He had a whole other family and life away from you. And I bet his other partner is going away with them.

Does this prince contribute financially to your household seeing as he spends half the week with you?

I don’t think he’s actually unreasonable to have a holiday with his sons - but the rest of it is ludicrous.

AutumnCosy2025 · 23/10/2025 17:41

Jellybunny56 · 23/10/2025 16:10

This is exactly what I was coming to say!

3 years together yet never met his kids, not living together despite having a child together and only sleeping over a few nights a week… you’re the other woman OP.

Show quote history

I wouldn't be at all surprised.

no way would I have put myself in the position of getting pregnant in your situation.

& 3/4 nights a week when you have a baby together?? A fuck load about this situation would concern me more than a man taking his older kids away for a week in the school holidays.