Dating and aging body

[RosiePeach33]

Does anybody else feel like this? I'm nearly 37, just out of a 4 year relationship. Absolutely don't want to date for at least a year.

However, I do wonder when I look at myself whether I would ever want to with someone new. My boobs are down by my knees, I have a hair that sprouts on my chin now, I realised I have hairs creeping down my nose. I have to wee in the night, my hair is falling out due to some auto immune thing and I'm contemplating a wig. Like my body is declining. Who is seriously going to want that.

And I don't think it's exactly a self confidence issue? Weirdly my standards are higher than ever, ive been doing so much work on that. Ive removed toxic people from my life, been going to counselling, put in boundaries etc. I know what I want and wouldn't accept and have implemented that. My standards are higher and yet my body has all this stuff.

And I exercise and eat really healthy, etc.

Does that make sense?

More generally though I find it sad how men/society have somehow warped women’s brain so dad bods are sexy but if you’re over 35+ and don’t have a super slim toned body with curves in the right places women often feel insecure and worried while men proudly show off their beer bellies and grey beards.

I dated this guy very briefly, I met him online and was under the impression he was really muscular.

He went to the gym about 4 times a week and walked about 10K steps daily, so based on that and his preference for slim “in shape”
women I assumed he fit that criteria too, and figured it was muscle under those clothes since he did look broad .

When I finally met him I found out it was not muscle. It turned out the guy had significant fat rolls on his back and on his chest. His thighs were super chubby too and his bum was bigger than mine and my butt isn’t small. He was also very short so it made him look extra chubby. No part of this man was muscular or slim. He was the fattest guy I’ve ever dated tbh.

His size wasn’t an issue in and of itself, but his attitude and double standards were.

It was a real lesson in how entitled some men are. I mean this guy had a bigger body and the way it was shaped was quite curvy and not unlike an overweight women, but yet he was seemingly unaware of this and had these high standard for women .

He had the nerve to say to me - who is much slimmer than him - had I ever considered WLI?

He just brought it up as casual conversation in relation to saying a lot of his female friends were on it and wasn’t telling me to go and get them as such, but I think he was trying to plant the seed into my head. It’s wild. I mean did he ever look in the mirror?!

It’s only now I think I should’ve asked that question back to him and also asked why he blatantly lied about his height by 5 inches. But after that weekend we spent together I just ended things and decided to be more choosy and discerning the next time I dated someone! Because some of the superficial stuff he said before I met him was a red flag which I let slide because he seemingly had a
Lot of other positive qualities. Now I walk away at the first sign of any of that.

Misogynistic men will be so super focused on every woman’s looks but not their own. So no I don’t feel bad about not having the same body I had when I was 25!

Sort out your gut, you effectively sort out a myriad of health issues. When your gut is compromised so many things are affected (nutrient absorption, autoimmune conditions (which include skin and joint issues), mood (gut-brain
connection) and on and on).

Couple of helpful links to follow on from my last post:

Article on psyllium (ispaghula as we call it in the UK)

https://www.vogue.com/article/psyllium-husk-benefits

Wellness: I Eat Psyllium Husks Every Day—Here Are the Benefits

"I’m a big fan of psyllium husks,” confirms digestive health expert Dr. Luisa Werner. “Psyllium husks can not only aid digestion and promote gut health...."

"The reason psyllium husks are so well tolerated is that they consist mostly of soluble fiber—around 80%. “A basic distinction is made between soluble and insoluble fiber,” Werner. “Soluble fiber contains a substance called mucilage, which swells in the intestine, binds to water, and forms a gel-like mass. “This has a very positive effect on digestion and also on the intestinal flora. The gel mass can also bind cholesterol from food, which means that less of it gets into the blood and cholesterol rises more slowly.”

"Psyllium husks have a regulating effect because they absorb excess fluid and stabilizing the stool; they also help with constipation by creating volume and stimulating intestinal activity."

How to eat psyllium husks: "When it comes to psyllium husks, less is more, especially at the beginning. In fact, Werner often sees her patients make the same mistake time and again—they either take too much at once or don’t drink enough water. “Always work up to it slowly, and take plenty of fluids,” she advises.

"To that end, she recommends starting with one small spoonful a day (or less), and then slowly working your way up “day by day, and week by week.” If you notice that you don’t tolerate the psyllium husks well, simply reduce the amount. “One teaspoon to a large glass of water is a good starting point for many people,” she says. “I now take one to two teaspoons, sometimes even a tablespoon a day—but I’ve worked my way up to it really slowly,” she say.

Video (by a great gut expert Dr. Ruscio) on the importance of exercise:

Exercise Improves Your Microbiota

The right amount of exercise (30 minutes to an hour, every other day), has a slight immunosuppressive effect, ie. stops it from overworking ("overzealous and overly attacking"), allows microbiota to grow. No exercise (sedantry) there is no immunosuppression and your immune system is too aggressive, too much exercise overly suppressed the immune system and increases risk of infection.