Do any women write prescriptive dating profile requirements like men do?

[Lilington]

Having seen the shopping list of male requirements (always regarding looks) for their potential “date” I wonder if any women do the same?

Well, I’m not in the market, but I can easily imagine having a fairly prescriptive list of non-negotiables. Not for looks, but to weed out the intellectually incurious, the poor spellers etc.

Yes they do.

My friends who are on it have said they seen profiles that state they want a man over 6ft.
Other stuff such as education and employment are also common.

Hell yes!
Largely physical attributes - which seems a bit unnecessary as you can see what someone looks like anyway, if you don’t like what you see then you just swipe left!
tbh it was refreshing (and unusual) to find a woman who would actually say something real and meaningful about themselves and what they were really looking for.

I didn’t. I wrote about myself and the only ‘requirement’ was I’m not interested in hook ups or ONS - though that didn’t stop them being regularly offered.

Obviously I had my preferences but I’d use filters to only see the profiles that matched - I definitely don’t write a shopping list

Yeah I have don’t that. You get insecure men messaging saying you don’t know what you are missing out on and could potentially not meet the love of your love because they for example live with their mum.

I date women now and have seen a few very blunt profiles with lists. I find it refreshing

When I was OLD, rather than any physical traits, I stated I wasn't interested in anyone unemployed, non-drivers and noone that wanted looking after. I also made sure to say I was looking for long term monogamy.

Unfortunately, OLD men my age (41) seem to mostly want a mummy/carer/piggy bank rather than an equal partner of any kind. I got lucky eventually.

Oh I did put non smokers only and had messages saying they smoke and deserve a chance 🤷‍♀️

Tbh it doesn’t seem to matter what you put as most men don’t actually read the words they just look at the photos.

My experience with all dating is that some men will always try to argue you out of your preference. "Thank you for messaging but we wouldn't be suited, have fun on the app!" Gets responses like
Can I ask why?
You haven't met me, you don't know if we are suited!
In what way? We have a lot in common...

I quite often reply saying do you really want someone to reply to you listing out all the things about your profile they didn't like- emotional labour for me, and not pleasant for you!

In fact you can tell which ones will do it in advance by reading their profile in the first place. I place bets on with myself.

Agree - I remember clearly a man called Barry in his late 70s messaging me - I was 56/57. It wasn’t just he was about my parents age, he was also several inches shorter than me and resembled a gnome. He was very offended by a polite no and called me an ageist bitch and he hopes I still single forever with my attitude.
I just replied with a 👍

I also had an extremely overweight (as in 30 stone) black guy reported me for racism for stating he wasn’t what I was looking for and called me a fucking racist bitch with white privilege- no mate your skin colour is the least of it

The answer is yes. I've seen a lot of profiles detailing the facial hair they want men to have, another profile wanted the men to address their toxic masculinity and inferiority complex with other men. You also get a lot of Eastern European women detailing how they are feminine women seeking a masculine man etc.

No I don’t but I only swipe right on the people who fit my criteria. Listing physical characteristics to me sounds quite shallow and I’m looking for the right person. I have said that emotional intelligence is attractive in one of the questions though. Even though that is apparently absent in most matches.
My biggest problem is that I barely swipe right but if you saw the options you’d see why 😂

I had a pretty detailed mental list, but wouldn't have stated any of it on my profile - there was no need. The beauty of these apps is that if someone doesn't fit my criteria, I can cut contact short immediately.

As it happened, I found the man of my dreams, who fit every criterion I had, but sometimes in unexpected ways. For example, I wanted someone who suited me intellectually - he definitely is my match, but has no formal qualifications (largely, I suspect, due to undiagnosed SEND). However, he worked his way up from dead-end jobs to managerial roles and now earns the same I do. He is also physically not what I would have listed (tall, but very thin), but I fancy the arse off him and have never seen a man more beautiful, to me, than he is.

Had I made lists of what I wanted, or even put filters on so that only people who fit my narrow criteria appeared to me, I would have missed this rare gem of a man. But I cast the net wide, sorted through the offers manually, and couldn't be happier now we found each other.

It's very common for women to specify a minimum height requirement.

So much for feminism 😃

What was it about him that made you forgo your usual filters?

Can’t see the point of specifying height as this is already shows on their profile if they fill it in, you choose to match or not. It’s taken as a pinch of salt until you meet them in person. Same with smoking, it’s a normal standard filter
I did write once I wasn’t into dogs and prefer cats 😂 got quite a bit of hate for that.
Most men don’t bother reading women’s profiles, gathered from the questions I got.

I once put if you send a 👋 or hi then it’s instant unmatch - 99% of the messages were one or other of those.

Which pretty much proves men don’t actually read profiles

I was just about to say this.

My male friend actually closed his online dating profile when he saw the number of women who specified that they are only interested in men over a certain height.
I think he’s around 5 feet 7, so not very short, and was never self conscious about his height until this.

Yes!

Some of the common stipulations:

Height - must be 6ft etc.
Good teeth
No kids
Have their own pace/not flat share etc
Have their own car
Not be divorced
Non smoker
not do drugs
Not want to be out partying every weekend

All of which are fine IMO.

Oh, and of course their perfect Sunday MUST be without exception, a roast dinner and walk in the forest/beach.

I’m not sure how feminism and sexual attraction are linked?!

The requirement for the man to be taller than the woman in a relationship is straight from the 'tall dark handsome prince to rescue me' storyline.

It could also be biological, of course, as much of attraction is, but it's often undermined by the assertion that 'It will look silly if my man is smaller than me'. Why will it? There is no God-given rule, just societal norms.

If a woman rejecting a man for not being taller than her were to suddenly lose height for some reason, would that same man suddenly be acceptable???

Being attracted to a tall man doesn’t mean we want rescuing!

Yes women are usually more picky and have bigger list requirements. It’s not a bad thing

A profile with any combination of the 'Sunday roast', 'long walk', 'country pub', 'log fire' cliches was always an immediate 'No!' for me.

I write a prescriptive list, but it was more about character and values and activities, not about looks.
Men are much more visually guided but frankly where someone’s got a prescriptive list that details they only want pink haired ladies who are 5 foot two and size 32F my general feeling about that is they are not interested in what lies between your ears. That bothers some people, who are intellectually inclined, but might not bother others.

Height has little function otherwise.