Obnoxious Dating Profile?

[WiseAdviceNeededPlease]

Would you find this obnoxious / a red flag in a dating profile?
"Note that I am lean and fit and am physically attracted to the same body type in terms of chemistry - admittedly quite superficial of me (apologies.)"
This is part of an otherwise ok dating profile of a 49 year old man (supposedly looking for a serious relationship) who messaged me.
Is this is a posh version of "No fatties" or "Don't waste my time if you don't have a hot body."? and would it be a hard pass for you?
Thanks!

It doesn’t offend me but personally I can’t imagine dating a fitness bore who spends their evenings on the gym and weekends hiking. An activity date is literally my idea of hell and in my OLD I immediately swiped left on the profiles made up of sweaty gym selfies.

Being reasonably fit and active is one thing but some of these profiles make it seem that it’s their whole existence

I'd be put off by this despite being fairly slim and fit myself. Despite the little disclaimer, it comes across as judgemental and is something he needs to be judging from photos and in person, not something to advertise on his profile. You might want to look into the burned haystack dating method to help filter profiles.

I don't see the problem with it. People have preferences and, if they are deal breakers, then it's best to be upfront straight away.

Hmmm…. well I wouldn’t want to date a fat man, but I wouldn’t write this on a dating profile!

It’s a bit blunt, but I suppose at least he’s not wasting anybody’s time!

I haven't been on a dating app/site for about 15 years, but I've experienced - and almost everyone I know has a similar story - people turning up and looking nothing like their photo, or using a photo from 10 years ago.

I don't see anything wrong with stating what you're physically attracted to. Would you feel the same way if he'd said "I'm not looking to date anyone one lean and fit"?

😂

Yes he means "No fatties." Putting that on your dating profile is obnoxious and comes across like he has a very high opinion of himself.

I'm sure he can see from photos whether someone fits the bill, maybe he's been catfished before?

On the sexless marriage support thread there is a poster saying her DH will/would only have sex with her if she stays a size 6 to eight.

When someone tells you who they are.........believe them.

I wonder how many women's profiles state that they are looking for a man 6ft plus, oh, andc professional" and other words that mean "rich" ? I suspect that this is OK.

Clearly this man should be thankful of any kind of female attention at all.

Why is it obnoxious? In addition to affecting attractiveness, body type is often a lifestyle choice, and can tell us a lot about a person.

I met several people while OLD who were much larger than their profile pics suggested.

Its his preference, fair enough.

Bit like putting i'm after someone who's 6 foot plus isnt it.

This would not bother me at all. I usually put something like ‘ a man who takes care of himself’.

I am not attracted to beer bellies or white hair and white beard combos because I don’t wish to date Father Christmas.

I must be lucky as I never met anyone who looked significantly different from their OLD profile.

The most common one though was height - almost every man I met was shorter than he claimed

The burned haystack method, please do tell!!

I’m not sure it is no fatties - I’m a size 8 and would assume he’s not interested in me as I can’t think of anything worse than going for a run or to the gym, so I’m not at all “fit”, despite being slim.

Yes, no fatties. I don't have a problem with this at all- it''s all helpful info for people who don't want to waste their time, either because they are overweight or because they think a man who would write this sort of thing must be a bit shallow, or both.

I have answered that in my comment. It comes across as having a high opinion of himself. It reminds me of the old Royal Marines ad - 99.9% need not apply.
Not that 99.9% of women are fat but you get my gist.

I think most of us understand being really overweight is deemed unattractive, so I'm not sure why it needs to be stated on a dating profile. Surely that's a given?

Being catfished is a different scenario altogether and can't really be avoided. If someone is gladly using photos from 10 years and 5 stone lighter ago they probably aren't going to care much about what people put on their profile. I don't suppose it would come as a surprise when a second date isn't on the cards either because the deceit would be a problem too.

Yes, it sounds like it. I’d find it very off putting, the expectation to be perfect would be too much for me. I’d prefer someone more chill. Have you seen what he looks like yet?

I've recently discovered the Burned Haystack Dating Method and it deals with exactly what you are questioning - how to read dating profiles for the meaning and intent behind what people are posting, and which ones to avoid!

https://www.instagram.com/word_case_scenario/reels
https://www.facebook.com/groups/9116647515019601

I would write something similar if I was ever on a dating site.

i wouldn’t want to meet someone who I wouks not be physically attracted to. I am very fit and an overweight man wouldn’t fit into my lifestyle.

Yeah, I wouldn't have time for anyone so prescriptive on a dating website. Good luck to them in life with that attitude.

Lean doesn't appeal to me anyway, I prefer a dad bod, more cuddly 😂
I actually appreciate it when people are honest on their profiles, saves time wasting. I don't want someone who's really into fitness as I find it boring. So I wouldn't be interested in him but not because I think what he said is a red flag.

If that's literally the only thing putting you off, I'd probably chance a coffee meet and see what he's like in person. Otherwise if you're not interested, then it doesn't really matter anyway.

Yes, you'd have to accept that if you did ever put on weight or become unfit due to sickness or becoming disabled you'd be dumped. Ok if you wanted a very superficial, short term relationship. I guess they'd be OK being dumped if they became sick or disabled too.

I'd be fine with it until I'd spoken to him about what he meant during our first meet up.

I think it is fine to express a preference of body type and activity level when dating, because so much of initial attraction is based on body-type, and shared interests means you have some common ground for enjoying dates as you get to know a person. After all, you can't love someone for who they are, when you don't know them!

So this man wouldn't necessarily dump a partner he loved if they gained weight or were ill, because he would love them by then. Or maybe he would - finding out what sort of person he is is what dating is about.

^nonsense, LarkAscending, you're waaaay overthinking this.

It's fine to have a preference for body shape when you start dating. And that preference says precisely nothing about how that person would behave, once the relationship is established, further down the line when unforeseen circumstances happen. I like my men to be bigger than me, my husband is six foot four but I'd never leave him if he had an accident and became a wheelchair user. My husband likes big boobs and slim women, but he'd never dream of leaving me if I had a mastectomy and he didn't leave me when I put on two stone after my second child.