A woman, visibly upset, knocked on my door earlier today and asked if I was ‘my name’ - I got the feeling she knew I was who she thought I was anyway. She handed me a letter and told me to check my Facebook messenger in half an hour. She said that there were things in the letter about my husband, of 21 years. She was visibly shaking and spoke with an accent that wasn’t local. Looked about late 40’s/early 50’s and well presented. Younger than me, I’m 60.
I am in total shock. So much so, I just can’t seem to believe it but, deep down, I know it’s true. I was alone at the time (wfh part time). My husband is younger than me, by 7 years, and is a police officer (was at work at the time). I’d stayed upstairs since he got home saying I had a headache but I just don’t know what to do. He is currently on night shift at work. He also does a lot of sport so is often out doing that.
The letter has accused my husband of an affair with this woman. She has said that they met on a site many years ago! Wtf! What started as a friendship, quickly became more. She lives a couple of hundred miles away but they have met up many, many times. For sex and he has taken her here there and everywhere in his car for days out. She says he has spent many hours chatting to her late at night. I have never heard anything but I do go to bed early (we have had a sexless marriage for a number of years). She says sorry, many times, but that she fell in love with him. Her marriage had been lonely (which she ended after getting involved with my husband!!!!) and it just happened! She went on top give examples of when they’d met (where/when) and dates. I thought he was at work!!! He had ended it a few times but came back repeatedly (messing with her head). I just can’t take this in!! She has said he strung her along and, once she’d lost everything (marriage, home etc) he just decided to tell her he wasn’t going to contact her anymore as he felt he was messing with her head!!
A message came through Facebook from her, obviously, with what was a fake name. She has sent evidence. Photos - voice recordings (it’s definitely him, it’s definitely inside our house). Even a pic of him at a hotel. Definitely points to an affair (voice messages tell me that). She said he’d told her he wasn’t attracted to me and had wanted to leave the marriage (she’d believed this). This has being going on for years! She also told me he had been chatting to women online for our entire marriage and had met someone else, before her, a few times (for sex). He ended it. She said he has expressed guilt but carried on doing it, as did she.
She had discovered where we lived and knew my name.
What the hell do I do?? I don’t have any family and we don’t have any children. I have just reduced my hours at work!! I’m absolutely sick to my stomach (and in shock). It looks like he has befriended this woman and used her. He’s obviously using me too!!
Has this happened to anyone else?
I will admit, our marriage is more like a friendship now and I am overweight so maybe he doesn’t find me attractive. 😢