What to tell my DM?

[CVVFan]

I’ve gone NC with my sister. My life has improved since then, so i have zero intention to get back in touch with her .

However it’s a known thing that her husband is violent towards her and their child. This has been the case since they got together so no surprises there.

However, as human being I think my DM should support my sister better, but I really don’t know what to advice.

How can you parent if you have “zero empathy”?

Your DH is yet another person who has no understanding of safeguarding. You don’t wait for concrete evidence. You pass what you do know onto the authorities for them to assess.

You hope to provide another piece of the jigsaw to enable the safeguarding agency to get a clearer picture of the child’s situation. Your information, however incomplete, will be added to concerns from the school and anyone else who reports.

It appears to be very easy for you and your husband to find reasons not to act. When a child is involved, we need to do our absolute best and share whatever concerning information we have.

I have been in a work situation where we were desperate for neighbours or family to report to add weight to our own concerns about a child. No one did. I later found out the extent of the abuse and it will never leave me.

fwiw, I’m diagnosed Autistic.

…and the inter-generational trauma continues, with not one person, in this whole sorry situation wanting to stop .

OP is damaged by her upbringing, as is her sister, as will her nephew be.

The whole thing is tragic

How is it possible to parent if you have “zero empathy”? Genuine question @CVVFan

This. I have just come across @CVVFan on another thread and it is very clear this is someone on the edge. She’s been focussed on making a change to her life for more than a decade and still the plan continues for years in to the future. It makes for a very depressing read, and I reckon it will be a combination of ND and horrific childhood (the mother is still very much a presence in the OP’s life.., staying with her in a complete unsuitable property for 3 months every year (having to share the same bedroom as her grandson and also the OP’s office) .

All in all, it is indeed a tragedy. So many people impacted by utterly shite parents

When did she last visit and you nearly had the mental health breakdown @CVVFan ?

and she should never ever stay with you even again surely?