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Original poster

Reasonable ick?

79 replies

Mondaybluez · 25/08/2025 16:43

Guy 39. No kids. Works for his brothers company. Lives in his mates house - his mate has moved into his girlfriends- so essentially his rent pays his mates mortgage. Smokes alot of cannabis and drinks alot and has recently disclosed to me he has no savings at all and is working off the books and has been for 10 years plus for his brothers company ?

No pension. No ni contributions. No stamp at all.

Am I reasonable to get the ick?

OP posts:
Laxonaweekend · 30/08/2025 20:27

AgentJohnson · 30/08/2025 19:59

And why would renting and not owning your home would be a negative? I am 53 and rent but thankfully I live on mainland Europe where owning your own home isn’t seen as the holy grail.

Yes because that’s what the issue is and not

Lives in his mates house - his mate has moved into his girlfriends- so essentially his rent pays his mates mortgage. Smokes alot of cannabis and drinks alot and has recently disclosed to me he has no savings at all and is working off the books and has been for 10 years plus for his brothers company ?

🙄

DiscoBob · 30/08/2025 20:32

Glad he's gone! Useless in bed and totally potless. Charmer of the century.

Original poster
Mondaybluez · 31/08/2025 02:24

AgentJohnson · 30/08/2025 19:59

And why would renting and not owning your home would be a negative? I am 53 and rent but thankfully I live on mainland Europe where owning your own home isn’t seen as the holy grail.

It's not the renting it's the fact he owns nothing not even plates they were all his friends.... I rent

OP posts:
Original poster
Mondaybluez · 31/08/2025 02:25

DiscoBob · 30/08/2025 20:32

Glad he's gone! Useless in bed and totally potless. Charmer of the century.

Shit in bed.
No charm either.... wtf was I doing

OP posts:
Original poster
Mondaybluez · 31/08/2025 02:27

Laxonaweekend · 30/08/2025 19:31

And you’re even engaging with some one like this?? Let alone in a relationship with.

I mean…. Well, it’s depressing really to think of any kids involved with anyone in this scenario

Show quote history

Let be rephrase - he doesn't want his own dcs

OP posts:
cheesycheesy · 31/08/2025 04:05

What a loser. Youre not that desperate surely?

Crushed23 · 31/08/2025 04:53

This is not really what getting the ick means. Getting the ick would be him having dirty fingernails or saying “mispronOUnciation”. What you’ve described there is one of the most spectacular catalogues of red flags I have read on MN in a long time. Don’t even think twice about throwing this one back.

Laxonaweekend · 31/08/2025 06:36

Crushed23 · 31/08/2025 04:53

This is not really what getting the ick means. Getting the ick would be him having dirty fingernails or saying “mispronOUnciation”. What you’ve described there is one of the most spectacular catalogues of red flags I have read on MN in a long time. Don’t even think twice about throwing this one back.

Exactly

and the thought that that OP has children and is even knows a person like this is depressing. Let alone in a relationship with them FFS!!

Laxonaweekend · 31/08/2025 06:38

Mondaybluez · 31/08/2025 02:25

Shit in bed.
No charm either.... wtf was I doing

Show quote history

OP on the basis is this, you need to step away from even thinking about a relationship until you don’t have any dependents. Because your benchmark for a man to have a relationship with is in the gutter. In fact, the sewer.

Laxonaweekend · 31/08/2025 06:38

Mondaybluez · 31/08/2025 02:27

Let be rephrase - he doesn't want his own dcs

Show quote history

I meant it’s depressing you have kids and you’re in relationship like this!

Laxonaweekend · 31/08/2025 06:40

Oh bloody hell
just read all your other thread about this relationship

Sounds like he also isn’t sure about the relationship, and you’ve only just got back together after splitting up. Again. What a shit show

DiscoBob · 31/08/2025 10:18

Mondaybluez · 31/08/2025 02:25

Shit in bed.
No charm either.... wtf was I doing

Show quote history

Don't worry mate, we've all been there! Onwards and upwards! X

Original poster
Mondaybluez · 31/08/2025 10:20

Crushed23 · 31/08/2025 04:53

This is not really what getting the ick means. Getting the ick would be him having dirty fingernails or saying “mispronOUnciation”. What you’ve described there is one of the most spectacular catalogues of red flags I have read on MN in a long time. Don’t even think twice about throwing this one back.

Your right....

OP posts:
Original poster
Mondaybluez · 31/08/2025 10:20

DiscoBob · 31/08/2025 10:18

Don't worry mate, we've all been there! Onwards and upwards! X

Show quote history

Even worse that my heart still hurts that he left ME when I found out he had lied to me and betrayed me etc etc.... nob. Ugh!

OP posts:
Original poster
Mondaybluez · 31/08/2025 10:21

Laxonaweekend · 31/08/2025 06:38

I meant it’s depressing you have kids and you’re in relationship like this!

Show quote history

Ohhhh yes I'm with you!!

OP posts:
DiscoBob · 31/08/2025 10:24

Mondaybluez · 31/08/2025 10:20

Even worse that my heart still hurts that he left ME when I found out he had lied to me and betrayed me etc etc.... nob. Ugh!

Show quote history

Grrr. He's a twat. Forget him! X

Judithdances · 01/09/2025 18:43

He left you a few weeks ago op

Original poster
Mondaybluez · 01/09/2025 20:44

Judithdances · 01/09/2025 18:43

He left you a few weeks ago op

Yes?

OP posts:
Judithdances · 01/09/2025 20:45

Mondaybluez · 01/09/2025 20:44

Yes?

Show quote history

So this thread is… odd. Given you have not been with him for weeks. And he finished with you!

in this thread you make out…. Something rather different to that

Judithdances · 01/09/2025 20:48

Why are you wasting your time asking if it was reasonable for you to have “ick” about someone who finished with you weeks ago?

op you’ve started multiple threads about him recently. It is over. That is a good thing. Just focus on your and your children for the foreseeable

Original poster
Mondaybluez · 01/09/2025 20:48

Judithdances · 01/09/2025 20:45

So this thread is… odd. Given you have not been with him for weeks. And he finished with you!

in this thread you make out…. Something rather different to that

Show quote history

Yes he left me, again, weeks ago due to me asking for better communication from him basically he screamed down the phone at me and told me it's done etc...however I have been having these icks for a long while and didn't listen to my own feelings... my friend is going through a break up currently, so with us being in the same boat of heartache we have been discussing things hence this post...I'm not sure what your point is? I wanted others opinions

OP posts:
Judithdances · 01/09/2025 20:51

Op… stop navel gazing about him. It’s over and has been for weeks.

Seriously for your own sake, there’s nothing to be gained to be starting multiple threads about different features of what was ultimately a pretty sordid little relationship with a loser and it’s over now anyway

Original poster
Mondaybluez · 01/09/2025 20:55

Judithdances · 01/09/2025 20:51

Op… stop navel gazing about him. It’s over and has been for weeks.

Seriously for your own sake, there’s nothing to be gained to be starting multiple threads about different features of what was ultimately a pretty sordid little relationship with a loser and it’s over now anyway

Edited

I've noticed patterns of my choice of men and chatting to others on here gives opinions so no I won't stop making threads about things because this is exactly what this site is for....

Yes the relationship is over but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt and you have no idea how manipulated and future faked plus gaslighted I have been so unpacking different parts of the problem and asking for opinions is actually very valuable

OP posts:
swingingbytheseat · 01/09/2025 20:56

He’s not a grown up, he’s a liability. Find an adult one

Judithdances · 01/09/2025 20:57

Ok crack on starting multiple threads about someone I wouldn’t want within a 5 mile radius of my children, a druggie gross loser who finished with you.

and yet you’re wasting brain space on navel gazing about him.

utterly baffling but I’ll leave you to it