Am I wrong

[mandski]

So my husband commented on a social media post to the sister of a childhood friend. Obvs I could see this. Then she says , I’ll inbox you. So I know they have been talking by messenger, but he has never mentioned it to me? Surely that’s strange? Back in touch with childhood friend and does not mention? So I was a bit sneaky and I did go onto his social media profile and unfriended this person. However, just seen message pop up from this woman; and they are friends again om social media, but still no word from him about it. (Not friends with the childhood friend or talking to him but is to the sister) people help me, am I being stupid , do I just let it go, it’s innocent right ??

So you unfriended a FB friend of your DH rather than saying 'Tell me about X?' There isn't much trust in your marriage, is there? I wonder if he wonders if it's you who unfriended her.

To be honest you have hit the nail on the head, no there probably isn’t . And we have been together over 25 years.

I'm sorry to hear that.

I would have said it was totally innocent until you unfriended her on his behalf????

If you don’t trust him you don’t trust him, you will see suspicious behaviour everywhere

So the fact he hasn’t mentioned it to me ? I shouldn’t read to much into that ?

Don't you have anything better to do than spy on your husband's social media? Do you go through his phone as well? Why don't you trust him?

I'm wondering what he thought when he went into his profile and saw he was no longer friends with her? If he suspected you'd done it then why not talk to you about it?

I hope you do talk to him. It's true to say people are entitled to have opposite sex friends. I'm presuming he's fine with you doing so? But you do need to know the situation.

I would say if he is being secretive about messaging this woman then it is concerning.
Do they have opportunity to meet up irl?

Without understanding more about your relationship, it's impossible to say. Do you normally talk to one another about contacts with acquaintances?

He may not see it as worthy of mention. I don’t discuss all my social media friends and updates with my DH. Did you not think to casually mention it to him and ask about her? That may have been less of an issue than deleting her. Now you look like you have an issue before you have even had any discussion.

I wasn’t going through his profile D this person had put a post on a local group and he commented , that’s the only reason I saw anything

I have no issue with him having female friends at all, it’s just the secrecy that got me

How do I reply to each comment ? (New to this)

I’m not sure as I don’t know where this woman lives, he is an Hgv driver so travels a lot (never overnight tho)

Yes you are wrong.

If I had a partner who unfriended people on my social media I would consider it to be very controlling.

Yes if I’ve got in touch with old friends via social media male or female I have always spoke about it.

Yes I can see that now. But would you not find the fact not mentioned anything something to worry about ?
I guess part of me is scared of asking the question cos I’m scared of the answer 😒

Click the quote icon and type in the box, as I have done here.

if you unfriend her, why you didn't read the texts to see if they are having sex or not? I find very suspicious he didn't tell you they are talking.

If it’s a local group and a comment on that it’s even more likely to be nothing to worry about.

Saying she’ll inbox him means there’s prob something she doesn’t want to say on a public board (especially if it concerns / might upset certain people).

You’re likely going to make it into a bigger issue than it needs to be.

All the messages had been deleted 😒

then they are having an affair, no ones delete messages unless they are afraid the wife will read them.. do you have money for a PI?

If you had mentioned that to start with, people would have told you that you should be concerned.

Sorry, so what you all think now ? Suspicious ? But just because the messages were deleted ?

I can only speak for what I think. Ask yourself, OP, why messages would be deleted. Is there an innocent explanation, theoretically? Presumably, you saw no messages, not notification of messages having been deleted. I don't think Messenger gives those.