Ive been with my partner for 3 years.
I have a DC from a previous relationship (age 5). We live together and have done for a year.
We have struggled a lot with issues with him gambling in the past but recently this has been much better, he stopped gambling and I thought things were good.
He decided to join the Navy last month and has gone ahead and applied without even mentioning it to me or asking my opinion and I honestly feel quite upset by this.
My son doesn’t deal well with change, he struggles with separation anxiety even seeing his dad once a week and I know he would struggle hugely with this.
I obviously won’t tell my partner what he can and can’t do, and I don’t want to stop him if this is what he really wants, but I feel like he hasn’t even considered how this would effect me or my son.
I just feel selfish for telling him this and that I don’t know if I can be in a relationship like this. He has said he would be gone for possibly months at a time and the base is at the entirely opposite end of the country to where we are, he doesn’t drive so seeing each other would be hugely limited.
I would have loved another child in the next few years or so but I wouldn’t want to do this alone or if I was alone for long periods of time knowing how hard I found it as a single parent when my sons dad left, I struggled hugely, I don’t have a village and it was exceptionally difficult for me to do it alone the first time, so it feels like I would have to sacrifice this.
What do I do? Can this work? I honestly feel devastated by the whole thing and just feel like he hasn’t gave a second thought about how it will affect my son and me, he’s still never even asked my thoughts or how I feel about it all.