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Original poster

Feeling hurt about being left out by boyfriend’s sisters

53 replies

CookieElizabether · 10/08/2025 22:55

boyfriend has a brother and 2 sisters, one sister and brother live close by. The sister who lives further away had arranged to come and stay with the local sister. For context I was actually messaging her the same day she was visiting but she never mentioned it.

Both sisters do not like the other brothers wife, they have openly said how they avoid her and make it difficult for her attend things everybody else is invited to… i.e the clever idea of arranging something when they know she is working. I don’t like this behaviour it seems mean and must make it difficult for the the wife.

I have always been very welcoming and made lots of effort which isn’t always reciprocated but the sisters have each other and I am an only child so appreciate I’m not at all needed or important to them. I have come to the relationship with a child, the sister who lives further away has a child and the brother does as well. I have invited them all to his birthday party, but my message hasn’t been read. I ask about their kids and often spend time with the brothers son who is a similar age to my child.

i had pre planned a day trip which the sisters knew about, they come to our house with a cake as it is the sisters sons bithday next week, they have candles and then their brother and his son also turn up. My boyfriend calls me when I am an hour away and he says the sisters have said they will see me tomorrow (they never replied to my previous message and this hasn’t been arranged) and he says they’ll be gone by the time I’m home but be wanted to check how far away I was as they are about to leave but would hang on for me.

Anyway, they then stay another 45mins, and leave just before I get home…. I felt a bit disrespected as it’s our home and it felt like me and my son had not been considered. I just wanted my boyfriend to understand how it looked. (Planned so we couldn’t be there). I don’t have family, my mum passed when I was young and my dad lives in another country now. I got on so well and was so accepted by two exes families that this just feels odd.

i am probably being sensitive but also worry they maybe don’t like me. I feel awful as I stupidly said how it made me to my boyfriend and he defended them which didn’t feel nice.

The father of my child had an affair, we were together for over a decade. My boyfriend has a big problem with me having a relationshop
with my exes parnets (son’s grandparents) so I’ve ended it. I don’t see them, unless I have to. I guess I am feeling a bit like I lost so much of my family through marriage and it’s why it stings a bit.

I feel childish and I certainly do not want to make things difficult for my boyfriend. Family is important and he should have a close relationship with his sisters and of course do things on his own with them. Don’t know why this stung so much, I feel so silly and disappointed in myself.

OP posts:
OoooopsUpsideYourHead · 10/08/2025 23:01

How long have you been with your boyfriend?

TombsofAtuan · 10/08/2025 23:06

So what if they don’t like you? The most important snd concerning thing you’ve said here is that you cut off your relationship with your child’s paternal grandparents because your current boyfriend didn’t like it. That is crazy behaviour. Resume that relationship for the sake of your child. If your current boyfriend doesn’t like it, he can take a running jump. And then his siblings will be irrelevant to your life.

MyDadWasAnArse · 10/08/2025 23:07

They're mean girls. They exclude the other sister in law too, which shows them up as cliquey, mean and childish. Honestly you don't want friends like them.

If this were happening to me I'd not bother with them. Your partner can see them separately and if there's a whole family gathering then embrace that but just stop trying with them. They're catty, silly and mean.

MyDadWasAnArse · 10/08/2025 23:08

TombsofAtuan · 10/08/2025 23:06

So what if they don’t like you? The most important snd concerning thing you’ve said here is that you cut off your relationship with your child’s paternal grandparents because your current boyfriend didn’t like it. That is crazy behaviour. Resume that relationship for the sake of your child. If your current boyfriend doesn’t like it, he can take a running jump. And then his siblings will be irrelevant to your life.

Gosh I missed this bit about the ex husband's parents. Please eat humble pie and contact them. This was not a good move.

HenDoNot · 10/08/2025 23:09

You’ve ended your presumably good relationship with your child’s grandparents because your boyfriend didn’t like it?

Wow.

whitewineandsun · 10/08/2025 23:11

My boyfriend has a big problem with me having a relationshop
with my exes parnets (son’s grandparents) so I’ve ended it.

That's such a shit thing to do to your son. Very shortsighted.

Whistledown2 · 10/08/2025 23:12

You poor love. That’s mean and bitchy behaviour and they should be ashamed of themselves. Don’t feel silly or disappointed in yourself, you have every right to be upset. But you need your child to have a relationship with his GPs. They’re far more important than the awful sisters imo!

ninjahamster · 10/08/2025 23:13

Oh please resume the relationship with your son’s grandparents. Your bf has no right to feel threatened by that.
As for the sisters, ah fuck ‘em. They sound hard work.

OhMaria2 · 10/08/2025 23:16

CookieElizabether · 10/08/2025 22:55

boyfriend has a brother and 2 sisters, one sister and brother live close by. The sister who lives further away had arranged to come and stay with the local sister. For context I was actually messaging her the same day she was visiting but she never mentioned it.

Both sisters do not like the other brothers wife, they have openly said how they avoid her and make it difficult for her attend things everybody else is invited to… i.e the clever idea of arranging something when they know she is working. I don’t like this behaviour it seems mean and must make it difficult for the the wife.

I have always been very welcoming and made lots of effort which isn’t always reciprocated but the sisters have each other and I am an only child so appreciate I’m not at all needed or important to them. I have come to the relationship with a child, the sister who lives further away has a child and the brother does as well. I have invited them all to his birthday party, but my message hasn’t been read. I ask about their kids and often spend time with the brothers son who is a similar age to my child.

i had pre planned a day trip which the sisters knew about, they come to our house with a cake as it is the sisters sons bithday next week, they have candles and then their brother and his son also turn up. My boyfriend calls me when I am an hour away and he says the sisters have said they will see me tomorrow (they never replied to my previous message and this hasn’t been arranged) and he says they’ll be gone by the time I’m home but be wanted to check how far away I was as they are about to leave but would hang on for me.

Anyway, they then stay another 45mins, and leave just before I get home…. I felt a bit disrespected as it’s our home and it felt like me and my son had not been considered. I just wanted my boyfriend to understand how it looked. (Planned so we couldn’t be there). I don’t have family, my mum passed when I was young and my dad lives in another country now. I got on so well and was so accepted by two exes families that this just feels odd.

i am probably being sensitive but also worry they maybe don’t like me. I feel awful as I stupidly said how it made me to my boyfriend and he defended them which didn’t feel nice.

The father of my child had an affair, we were together for over a decade. My boyfriend has a big problem with me having a relationshop
with my exes parnets (son’s grandparents) so I’ve ended it. I don’t see them, unless I have to. I guess I am feeling a bit like I lost so much of my family through marriage and it’s why it stings a bit.

I feel childish and I certainly do not want to make things difficult for my boyfriend. Family is important and he should have a close relationship with his sisters and of course do things on his own with them. Don’t know why this stung so much, I feel so silly and disappointed in myself.

Those poor people have lost their grandchild, they must be heartbroken. And youre sad about not being included? Seriously

RubyMentor · 10/08/2025 23:21

The whole family sounds toxic, please get in touch with your ex in laws to build a relationship with your DS

Rosegoldy · 10/08/2025 23:27

HenDoNot · 10/08/2025 23:09

You’ve ended your presumably good relationship with your child’s grandparents because your boyfriend didn’t like it?

Wow.

This.
Why would you do this?
For a man?
Your poor child.
No good decent man would ask this of you.

And his sister can treat you so rudely?
You have made very poor choices.

I can't believe you would end a relationship with grandparents for a man.
That's so shocking.

His sisters are nasty mean girls and he doesn't sound much better.

You have put him ahead of whats best for your child.

You need to do the right thingband put your child first.

Not this toxic man and his toxic sisters.

HenDoNot · 10/08/2025 23:36

I can’t believe you would end a relationship with grandparents for a man

And then come on here whining about how hurt you are that your boyfriends sisters have left you out of one visit. The irony.

Take your feelings of disrespect, hurt and upset, and multiply them by 100, and you’re probably still not even close to how upset, hurt and bewildered your sons grandparents feel, you silly silly woman.

CarpetKnees · 10/08/2025 23:57

TombsofAtuan · 10/08/2025 23:06

So what if they don’t like you? The most important snd concerning thing you’ve said here is that you cut off your relationship with your child’s paternal grandparents because your current boyfriend didn’t like it. That is crazy behaviour. Resume that relationship for the sake of your child. If your current boyfriend doesn’t like it, he can take a running jump. And then his siblings will be irrelevant to your life.

This.

There's absolutely no reason why his sisters need to include you when they meet up. They are sisters and have a long standing relationship.
Difficult to know with the visit as to if that actually was deliberately planned to avoid you. That is your perception.

But what you have done to your ds and to his Grandparents, because a new boyfriend is so insecure he can't acknowledge an important relationship for your ds is just shocking.

Dancingintherainxxx · 11/08/2025 01:08

One sister lives far away.

If this was me and my little sister I'd want quality time with her alone. I wouldn't be thinking of my boyfriends gf ! They never see each other and want to be alone. Leave them alone.

SunflowerTed · 11/08/2025 01:47

MyDadWasAnArse · 10/08/2025 23:07

They're mean girls. They exclude the other sister in law too, which shows them up as cliquey, mean and childish. Honestly you don't want friends like them.

If this were happening to me I'd not bother with them. Your partner can see them separately and if there's a whole family gathering then embrace that but just stop trying with them. They're catty, silly and mean.

This! They have shown themselves to be bitches over their behaviour with the brothers wife. Also make amends with your sons grandparents they will be more constant on your sons life then this nasty family

SunflowerTed · 11/08/2025 01:50

HenDoNot · 10/08/2025 23:36

I can’t believe you would end a relationship with grandparents for a man

And then come on here whining about how hurt you are that your boyfriends sisters have left you out of one visit. The irony.

Take your feelings of disrespect, hurt and upset, and multiply them by 100, and you’re probably still not even close to how upset, hurt and bewildered your sons grandparents feel, you silly silly woman.

This in spades. Get on the phone and put your son first

HoppingPavlova · 11/08/2025 02:24

My boyfriend has a big problem with me having a relationshop with my exes parnets (son’s grandparents) so I’ve ended it. I don’t see them, unless I have to

You are denying your child a right to a relationship with relatives that want one with them. Because a boyfriend doesn’t like it. That’s really abusive in your part towards your child. And deeply odd. A good parent who wants the best for their child would tell the boyfriend to go jump in a lake, see the red flags, and immediately remove themselves and their child from a controlling nutter. Yet, you have gone along with it. That’s being a shit parent.

autienotnaughty · 11/08/2025 06:31

You shouldn’t have stopped your son seeing his grandparents to please your bf.

it seems his sisters aren’t that fussed for a sisterly relationship. That’s ok as long as you all get along enough to be polite you don’t need to be best mates.

TheRealGoose · 11/08/2025 06:35

Oh god, you cut your child off from their grandparents to make your boyfriend happy? Please reverse that immediately that’s awful for all of them.

myplace · 11/08/2025 06:36

We don’t know the boy doesn’t see his grandparents. That may happen while he’s with his dad.
It’s OP who doesn’t see them.

OP, they aren’t your family, no matter how much you wish they were. They want to chat and reminisce and indulge the dynamic they established as kids.

I don’t think this relationship is working out though.

99bottlesofkombucha · 11/08/2025 06:40

Contact the exes parents and let them see their child, tell your boyfriend he is happy with the status quo that his sisters deliberately exclude you and you are going to build the connections for your child that you can and no longer let him influence you to cut them off now you’ve seen he doesn’t have your child’s wellbeing at heart. Be a better mum. Be a less appeasing girlfriend and stand up for yourself, give less as I suspect he doesn’t deserve it.

pinkdelight · 11/08/2025 06:41

You talk a lot about how few family members you have and then reveal you’ve cut your DS off from his grandparents because of this boyfriend. That’s pretty awful and much worse than some sisters not prioritising time with a brother’s girlfriend, which is their prerogative.

SD1978 · 11/08/2025 06:44

It seems, reading between the lines, that you rely on your partners family picking up and being your family when you come into a relationship, from what you’ve said with previous ex’s. Families liked and included you. You can’t assume that they (partners families) will always want t9 pick up the slack for your own lack of family, as crap as it is you don’t have anyone. But you did have s9meone, you had your child’s parents and you dropped them for a partner and family that you hoped would pick you up and didn’t. They aren’t responsible for being your family, you had some family help and you chose to drop them. Your partner having an issue with this, and you dropping them is the real issue

PamIsAVolleyballChamp · 11/08/2025 06:45

myplace · 11/08/2025 06:36

We don’t know the boy doesn’t see his grandparents. That may happen while he’s with his dad.
It’s OP who doesn’t see them.

OP, they aren’t your family, no matter how much you wish they were. They want to chat and reminisce and indulge the dynamic they established as kids.

I don’t think this relationship is working out though.

Am hoping this is correct. @CookieElizabether you haven't actually stopped your ds from seeing his paternal relatives have you?

FlatWhiteExtraHot · 11/08/2025 06:51

The OP didn’t say she’d stopped her child seeing his grandparents. She said she had ended her relationship with them.