How to tell you best friend who has unexplained infertility that you’re pregnant?

[AlwaysHopefull89]

Hand hold really. I can’t help but think of her even in though I am in the throes of joy with DH that we are expecting our second child. We are still super early at just 6 weeks! But all signs/ symptoms are looking great, positive tests etc and all really looking well. I have my first midwife appointment end of the month.

so, ive known my lovely friend for nearly 15 years now. She has a DD who is 5 and beautiful. She has been trying for a second baby now for 2 years. She has had tests, along with her DH but no reason as to why they cannot conceive. Sadly putting it down to ‘secondary unexplained infertility’. She has had many tears and has been so low about it to a point she has been unable to eat some days. She has been on a tablet also that is supposed to make you ovulate (can’t remember the name) but that still didn’t work so she has given up on that.

she lost her mum also 6 years ago and she really only confines in me a lot. She has not got a lot of other ‘close friends’ that she tells her troubles to.

im worried she’s going to put a distance between us as she will find it too painful to be around our second child/ me ?!

how do I break it?

thanks x

The eye roll was to the comment not my friend’s situation.

Message her. I’ve been that friend, and people telling me to my face when I’m in a social
situation and can’t get out is awful 🙈

I was happy for them but my emotions were reflective of my own problems and it was very hard. She will probably be similar x

Yes, I know.

I do feel awful for her but I just feel like she’s shutting me out a lot. We have some plans together next month with our daughters and I’m just hoping she doesn’t cancel on me. I said to her to let me know when she wants to meet but she hasn’t asked yet.

@Catpoliticsso sorry to hear about your situation also.

It sounds like you did your best to make sure she understands that you do care.
I’d give her more time – I hope she will feel able to reply to you soon.
x

Just to add (some insight from my own experience… though I expect you’ve already considered this)…. When you’re the parent of an ‘only’ and would love to be able to give them a sibling but can’t, then it’s nice to have friends who also only have the one child. It helps you feel that your child isn’t going to feel unusual in not having siblings. Subconsciously you almost feel like you want there to be more only children out there so that it’s more normalised.
So then, when one of those friends end up having another child, it kind of rocks that stability for you.
Hope that makes some sense.
With you being her best friend, she is probably feeling this in an extra raw way.
I’m sure she will feel better over time.
x

If you had a good friendship until this, I think she's being shortsighted to throw it away. She has a young child already, there's going to be lots of mums at her daughter's school who are TTC and will become visibly pregnant. Is she going to cut off every mum friend who falls pregnant.
You'd think building up her daughter's village would be a priority.

Thank you- I now have my lovely family through ivf- 2 kids! So it all worked out and I’ve put it behind me and don’t think much about it but I’m sure I would if it hadn’t have been successful. And hope your pregnancy goes well.

❤️