Dealing with constant emotional emotional and verbal abuse.

[Jane370]

My partner has become increasingly verbally and emotionally abusive towards me I cant go a day without him. Starting an argument over something minior calling me derogatory names or raising his voice .I'm called a f ing spastic a cxxt an idiot retard the other day he called me fat he threatens to cheat on me .He causes scenes in front of neighbors and bad mouths me .

if I tell him to leave my home he starts abusing me over messages or calling multiple times on private numbers he's even gone as far to make fake Facebook profiles to abuse me he never apologises for anything and blames me so it's always my fault for him saying these things and he calls me the abusive one .

It's begining to take it's toll on my mental health and I'm suffering from anxiety and panic attacks and my self esteem is rock bottom .

He keeps saying things like no one cares about me I have no family because they have passed away.

I'm trying to make a plan to leave but I'm struggling where to begin .

Have you got anyone who can help you or support you? Friends/family?
He sounds so nasty and vile, you need to leave him before he physically hurts you.

OP please don't continue to put up with his abuse. Do you live together? Whose house is it? If it's yours, tell him to leave and don't have him back. Block him on all platforms, change your phone number if you have to.

Can you confide in a friend? If you genuinely have no support, call Women's Aid, they can offer you help and support. You can also call Samaritans if you need someone to talk to.

You don't have to live with this and you deserve better. Don't let him grind you down any further - start taking back control of your own life. You can do this - it's the hardest bit but there is light at the end of the tunnel.

You need to get away from him

You can contact your local domestic abuse service or contact the National Domestic Abuse helpline or Refuge webchat. He's destroying your mental health so get some support.

Leave now. No reason to endure this ever

Report him to the police.

Low life piece of scum.

if I tell him to leave my home

Just kick the fucker out and change the locks if it's your home, if he refuses to leave call the police

I don't have any family and no real close friends I have confided in a neighbor .

What did your neighbour say? Youve taken the first step. Whats your plan going forwards

I still have no idea where to begin as he creates this image outside of being this nice friendly guy

Who owns the house? Whose name is it in?
Do you have any children?
How long have you been married and do you work? Does he work?

Don't be put off by what you think other people see; plenty of people can see through these sorts of men. Esp when they behave like this "He causes scenes in front of neighbors and bad mouths me."

It is my house he just turns up and walks in He basically runs around putting on the good guy act so he knows most of the neighbors I'm disabled so can't get out much and had to give up my job due to my health . If I try and discuss something he's said or done instantly he starts accusing me or deflecting it on to me .

Go to the police and get a restraining order on him. Change the locks and get a new phone number.

If its your house and he doesn't even live there, then it's easy. Tell him not to come near you. Tell him you will call the police if he does. Then call the police if he does

Change the the locks and block on all platforms then police if he doesn’t get the hint

Tell your GP everything they will signpost you to local services

Call Women's Aid for support. Call the police on 101 and tell them what's happening. They will support you.

It’s your house. Good. Change the locks, block him, and don’t let him in.

You need to be really firm.

Could you ring Women’s Aid for advice? Or the police?

@Jane370 im so sorry you are going through this.

The human brain is a funny thing, it becomes the information it processes often. If you keep hearing this absolute bullshit from him a point will come where you start to believe it. That is how abusers hook in their victims.

I think victims think that abusers only treat them badly but that simply is not true abusers treat everyone who they get into triggered patterns with badly. That is how abusers respond to stress in their lives, with abuse.

People who deal with these people and tip toe around them not triggering them and losing themselves in the relationship might get a better deal for a short while but the core of the person still is what it is, an abuser.

The bottom line is abusers need to be left on their own. That is what you need to do now leave him to be with his unpleasant self. Because you are not like him, you have the potential to learn from this and meet much nicer people in the future but not while you are in this relationship, the only thing you are learning here is how to adapt to being in a shit relationship. You deserve so much more.

You deal with it by banishing him from your life. Change your locks, your phone number, create new SM profiles if you must use it (don't use your real name). Contact the police if he turns up or continues to stalk/harass you. Maybe get a ring doorbell.

It has worn me to down to the point I now question reality as he always makes it my fault if I did this or if I didn't say this ..

I'm the one doing it not him.im the abuser the narcissist the liar.

People saying tell him not come over he will still come he will sit outside he will even go and sit round corner if that fails he drags his family and friends into it and gets them to call me on private numbers to prove I'm the issue not him.

FGS, get a restraining order, and report him to the police, this isn't a partner, just kick him out of your life - today

Call Womem’s Aid or the police @Jane370 his behaviour is appalling it doesn’t matter if his family believes it or not. It is a real constant human failing that abusers are supported and their victims are isolated.

You need to call the police my love, get a locksmith out to change the locks TODAY and I’d also consider getting a ring doorbell and interior camera to record things. My friend had to do this in a not dissimilar situation with an equally abusive husband who was a “nice guy” to everybody else. The footage was shocking. She has a restraining order and a divorce now.