Online dating - very upset

[Lizzie67384]

Hey,

So I met a guy, seemed really nice we hit it off - went on multiple dates then did the deed, didn’t hear anything from him so messaged him and basically said ‘I presume you’re not interested’ he messaged back but was being off. I stupidly said that I felt we had a connection and he replied and said ‘did we? Ok lol’

just feel so hurt - if he wasn’t interested why couldn’t he say that in a nice way 🤣😩 guess I’m just looking for a hand hold x

Sorry have just seen that there have been multiple explanation s of this! And yes makes sense that they realise the longer they see the same woman the more they will be expected to behave like an actual partner so actually multiple hookups mean less actual effort over time.. 😞😞

So they can tell themselves they're a catch?

Ignore his shitty apology op.

He clearly was just hiding his time to get his end away and to be so rude was awful.

After 8 dates of course you felt a connection but sounds like it was a fake one he built to get himself a bit of bedroom action.

It only reflects badly on him so don't give him another thought!

He's probably only apologised as he's worried he'll be outed and other women warned off him!

I’ve been reflecting on this because other friends have mentioned the ‘3month’ mark. Don’t know how long your 8 days spanned, assume over a couple of months?
And it seems that regardless of when you have sex, some men do just cool off around that time when the initial excitement wears off and the reality of being in a relationship becomes a reality.
I’m 4 months into a relationship (met in RL) that has been very intense and lots of fun and over the last couple of weeks have sensed a slackening in the timing of messages and less interests in booking in meet/up dates. It wasn’t love bombing and he is genuinely nice person in this case, but I think the reality is that it’s at this point that it becomes a potential term relationship involving family etc where the doubts emerge.
Sort this is wandering off topic, so will start a separate thread,
Well done OP for not responding to his apology and blocking him.

Ah I’m sorry to hear that :( it really makes you question yourself doesn’t it?

I hope you’re okay xx

Yes I didn’t mean to be critical more that after 8 dates you nornally feel you know someone well enough to trust they won’t just chuck you after they’ve “got what they want”. Of course you don’t have to sleep with anyone anytime !

Excellent that he exposed that he is scum so quickly.

He rethought his answer and regretted it because he thought he would put you on standby.

What a twat.
Definitely put him up on Are we dating the same guy!

Glad he apologised OP, and you did the right thing to block him. At least you got a bit of closure with the apology.
I bet he had a shock that you had blocked him on what’s app, probably thought you’d sit around waiting on him.

It's a shame you can't leave reviews during online dating - a bit like Air BnB.

I went on a date with Paul yesterday, unfortunately he was 10 years older than his photo online and spent the entire evening talking about fishing. Old and dull, 3/10 would not recommend.

What did he say?

He messaged me this ‘hey, sorry about my last message, I didn’t mean it how it came across. Would still be up for meeting if you are. I had a good time ;)’

found the wink totally off-putting 🤣

This would be amazing!

Well glad he realised he sounded like a dickhead and maybe a lesson learnt for him OP. Still wouldn’t bother unblocking though.

If he didn't mean it, why did he say it, and I'm not sure how else he thought you would interpret it?! If I had received his message, I too would have thought I'd been dumped, and now he is still interested in meeting up? Give me strength!!!!

He has shown you who he is. Rude and wants an open invitation for sex on his terms.
When people show you who they are I'd go with it. He really doesn't deserve any more of your time.
I was pretty strict with dating on OLD and repeatedly found that men would be happy for easy sex with no effort or commitment and ended things when I could see it wouldn't be a full relationship for me.
Then I was often chased with promises of them changing and doing more. my reply... no I gave you your chance, next!

🤮🤮🤮🤮 get prick boy to fuck!

He was cruel and rude OP. No need at all. How old was he? Block him.

It's not about how many dates you held out before sleeping together. Don't let anybody on here tell you this nonsense. Unfortunately the dating apps are diabolical and what I notice is a lot of men just don't have decent intentions and are dishonest.

Unless you have actual experience of OLD you won't understand. Always ask people what they are looking for early on OP to check you are on the same page.

Interesting that he is now magically able to know how it came across to you, and that he didn't mean it that way, yet was happy to send it at the time.

Suggests he might be someone who says whatever hurtful thing pops into his mind and then deals with it later if someone is upset enough to need him to..

So sounds like he had someone else so put you on the back burner. Obviously it hasn't worked out with her so now he's come crawling back.

Be grateful he showed you his true colours fairly soon . He's probably done the same to others .