Weird comment from new partner or am I overthinking it?

[musicmakesmelosecontrol]

We’ve been together for 5 months (dated for a couple of months beforehand). He’s 38 and has two children (9 and 11) from a previous relationship. I’m 29, with no kids but I would like to have one in the future. We’ve discussed it, and he’s open to having more, but it’s still early days and I’m definitely not ready for that right now. I thought he felt the same way.

He’s been absolutely amazing from the start, and I’m really happy. However, this comment caught me off guard and I’m not sure how to feel about it. We were sexting last night and he said, “I can’t wait to give you a baby so I can make you mine.” He’s never shown any signs of controlling behaviour fyi. I’m not sure if he was serious or if it was just something he said in the heat of the moment.

Am I overthinking this?

Nope. Leave him. 5 months for fuck sake. Don’t date a man who already has kids. Just fucking don’t.

Oh that is rank. You’re not overthinking it. He “gave” his ex two babies and she’s not his anymore. And babies have no place in sex chat. The whole thing is revolting. Run fast away.

You've known him for 7 months. You have almost zero clue who he is. This is a red flag imo. If a man said that to me , I'd run. However you might want to add it to your red flag list and wait and see

This is not what the op asked. Stop putting your own stuff onto her.

Op - it is weird. I wouldn't say it is grounds for dumping him, but it would definitely make me more wary.

It’s seriously weird and would give me the ick

Worrying.. no man who is decent would say anything like that IMHO. Its strange ..

Bye.

🤮

I agree. OP you’re only 29 - why on earth are you interested in a father of 2 a decade your senior who sees you as a possession he wants to ‘give’ a baby to?

Think very carefully about being in a stressful scenario where you’ve got a new born and a couple of teenagers - is that really what you want?

Run like the fucking wind.

Oh and he’s not a partner. He’s just a boyfriend.

Urgh - just no.
"Give you a baby"
"Make you mine"

Run.

🚩🚩🚩

It is very fucking strange and gross.

If you want to keep going, keep a v good eye on him, but given your youth, I would think about an exit.

What?

OP should leave him for many reasons:

He’s disgusting
He’s bringing up having a child with her too early
It’s in a vile context, he obviously gets off on the idea sexually (breeding kink likely and it’s all just a fucking game to him for his kicks- he’s not marriage material)
He’s using language of ownership
He’s raised a family and OP is ten years younger with a life ahead of her

Adding in the advice of not dating a man with kids is fucking sound.

OP if you think @sandrapinchedmysandwichhas a point and I’m “putting my own stuff on you” (I have never dated a man with children and married a man without kids and had our own family together), then pop over the the step parenting board and see what a bundle of laughs it is over there.

If a man has kids already OP- run.

This

Ten years older.
Already has two older kids. They'd be teens by time you had a baby, not a fun combo for a stepmum.
Adding baby talk to sex talk. Ick.
Possessive language. Ick.

He's shown his true colours a tiny bit there by accident. Soo many misogynistic knob heads think a woman is tied to them when they've had a child together. And so many young women ARE stuck by then. 😔

I advise on throwing this one back!

I also agree he's a short term boyfriend, not a partner. Run and don't look back.

It’s a weird comment. Why would he equate baby with ownership? Why would he want to own you? Why is he talking about babies? Did you challenge him on it? Do you know much about his split with ex? Any other concerns?
I know it’s only one comment but I’d definitely be reconsidering things

He thinks once you’re pregnant he can keep you.
Run, run, run.

This story never ends well.

Well, that's grim.
You're only 29, don't waste your time on a man who's nearly 40, already has two children and says weird shit like that. You can do better.

I don’t feel as extreme about this as other posters but in general I feel that you have tons of options of other men who aren’t fathers yet that you could meet instead!

Five months? That’s a fling 😂😂. You are only 29, why are you wasting yourself on someone like that. Run run run.

Tbh OP he sounds like a lot of divorced fathers looking for a nanny with a fanny, always a decade or more younger.

Just read the numerous threads on here where women got incomes with older divorced fathers and are now unpaid childminders and housemaids. Almost all of them say ‘he’s a great father, very caring and generous but……… and the but says it all.

It’s a weird thing to say by a man who is that age and already has kids by a woman he hasn’t managed to keep OP. Any other red flags that you may have overlooked?

Zero clue? For some people 7 months is a very serious relationship! I was planning my wedding by the 7th month mark

So how about a woman who has kids? Should no one ever date her? Or is that different for some reason?