Weird comment from new partner or am I overthinking it?

[musicmakesmelosecontrol]

We’ve been together for 5 months (dated for a couple of months beforehand). He’s 38 and has two children (9 and 11) from a previous relationship. I’m 29, with no kids but I would like to have one in the future. We’ve discussed it, and he’s open to having more, but it’s still early days and I’m definitely not ready for that right now. I thought he felt the same way.

He’s been absolutely amazing from the start, and I’m really happy. However, this comment caught me off guard and I’m not sure how to feel about it. We were sexting last night and he said, “I can’t wait to give you a baby so I can make you mine.” He’s never shown any signs of controlling behaviour fyi. I’m not sure if he was serious or if it was just something he said in the heat of the moment.

Am I overthinking this?

Run.

Breeding kink.

Controlling.

Wants you dependent.

Any of those are awful.

He's a 38 year old with 2 kids and flying giant red flags after only 5 months. Ick.

There are many reasons why it’s different but I think it’s a good idea in the vast majority of cases not to date anyone with young children. Save your dating until they’re older. It is certainly not a good idea for a young woman to date a man 10 years older than her who has two young children. I would say that’s common bloody sense. Unless you think The Holiday is a reflection of real life and he’s just a dreamy, rakish Jude Law type character and his angelic children are just crying out for a new mummy 🥲🥲🥲

Listen to your gut. His comment was creepy and a warning that he is sexist. Owning you? A big nope.

Get out while you can.

Run.

Jeez, what a passion killer .., sexting then he brings up a baby. It’s a red flag that he thinks he can make you “his” by impregnating you. Please get on some reliable birth control that you have ownership of. You are far too young to be with a man with kids.

He probably says that to many many women....

I’d be more worried about the two children he already has, as by the time you get married and have children with him they will be young teenagers and should be getting their fathers time and full attention, and not be pushed aside for a new baby.

This, find someone your own age OP.

That sounds like a threat not sexy talk 🤮
I bet he was getting excited thinking if he knocks you up he'll have a nanny with a fanny soon.

Ugh you are with a Neanderthal man. Dump him asap.

Thought the same, that kinda talk screams breeding kink.

For people with a breeding kink (not saying he absolutely has one but I've met tons of dudes who do lol) that is what gets them going. The thought of impregnating their girlfriend / getting pregnant and then being like connected forever. So for 2 people with that kink, it would be hot but obviously anyone who doesn't have that kink wouldn't. (For the record I have had dates with men who are like this and never continued speaking after the date 😂)

Ick, ick, ick 🤢🤢🤢 I don’t think I could look at him again without throwing up a little.

I would chuck desperate Dan back. Who even says crap like that. 5 months in too, he sounds very immature and by 3 years in, he’d be controlling you.

Gross.

Please look into "The Burned Haystack Dating Method", this would give me bad vibes also.

That would make my fanny snap shut instantly. Major ick incoming.

It's a cringingly mindless, stupid thing to say given his situation and age.
What is his IQ?

Urg. Say hello to the Ick.

Wrong thread 🤦🏻‍♀️

Massive over reaction on here, but he does sound very old fashioned and traditional. I’m not sure it’s going to end well.

Are you in the US by any chance? This sounds quite mid-western.

You can do much, much better, in a multitude of ways.

I'm 37 and childfree - no way I'd date a 46 year old with teenagers ESPECIALLY no one who writes creepy shit. You're not an incubator!

That’s vile. Makes you sound like a commodity

🤨

wtf are you talking about

Aaaaaaaaarrrrrggggg ...

Ten years+ age difference.

You've only been with him a few months so you don't really KNOW him - he's still on what remains of best behaviour.

He has young dependent children he doesn't live with = she either got herself and them away from him, or he walked out on them

He is talking about fathering a third child on you - not because he'd love to have a new baby, the chance to do it right, etc - nope, specifically so he can OWN you.

Personally I'd be inviting the ex to a frank and open conversation about the truth of him before the next date, let alone conception.