Weird comment from new partner or am I overthinking it?

[musicmakesmelosecontrol]

We’ve been together for 5 months (dated for a couple of months beforehand). He’s 38 and has two children (9 and 11) from a previous relationship. I’m 29, with no kids but I would like to have one in the future. We’ve discussed it, and he’s open to having more, but it’s still early days and I’m definitely not ready for that right now. I thought he felt the same way.

He’s been absolutely amazing from the start, and I’m really happy. However, this comment caught me off guard and I’m not sure how to feel about it. We were sexting last night and he said, “I can’t wait to give you a baby so I can make you mine.” He’s never shown any signs of controlling behaviour fyi. I’m not sure if he was serious or if it was just something he said in the heat of the moment.

Am I overthinking this?

Agree you do have lots of options atm.

and also talking about "giving you a baby so you'll be mine. Is hasty 5 months in isn't it?

Perhaps he thinks that your biological clock is ticking and you will jump at the chance. I feel like a grandma saying this but I note he isn't talking about marrying you so that you'll be his forever. Is he thinking that if he gets you pregnant you'll be tied down and won't be able to walk?

Also. I do think you should be careful. How long has he been single for? Is he thinking that you might be able to "help" him out when he has his two kids over. You could be looking after a baby and two teens.

Any clues as to why he left his last wife? That might give you more of an inkling about his motives.

Sorry if that sounds a bit too suspicious.

Massive massive red flag for coercive control/domestic abuse. Run for the hills!

Yeah impregnating sex stuff would out me right off tbh,

Whether he means it or not, the fact that he thought it was some kind of sexy thing to say is a turn off.

Ten year difference, two children looking for a skivvy aupair foolish enough to get sucked into getting pregnant and stuck with him.

Only the most desperate of women end up thinking this type of man is attractive.

They aren't long seeing the mistake though.
Skivvy aupair to two children and one of your own is the hardest work and largely thankless.

Run as fast as you can.
Ick.

Jesus. Massive overreaction on MN as per usual. The poor man’s said one fucking sentence. They’ve already discussed babies and “make you mine” or similar is often on valentines cards. Personal choice whether you like wording like that or not.

OP just tell him you didn’t like it and if his reaction is not to do it again you are all good.

Another single post OP.

Disagree with this. I left an abusive relationship and the information I got from Women's Aid and elsewhere is that abusive men often see pregnancy as a way to control as it limits the options for a woman to flee. Even if they do flee, they are still 'tied' to the man through the kids. It's why so many abusive men only show their nastier side once a woman gets pregnant.

It may not mean this one is abusive, but the OP is right to be wary and watch out for his behaviour. It was a very unusual comment of him to make (if he mentioned marriage instead, it would have been more normal)

Aye right

Ten year difference, two children looking for a skivvy aupair foolish enough to get sucked into getting pregnant and stuck with him.
These were my first thoughts...

A man with no kids i can maybe understand as misguided or brainless.

A man WITH 2 children should realise what a phenomenal responsibility they are.

You are 29 dont tie yourself to this kind of life and all the half siblings extended family head wrecking that comes with it.

'Nanny with a fanny' is brilliant.

Up there with 'Nurse with a purse.'

Don’t most nannies have a fanny? I’d probably say most nurses have purses too.

Would you tell a man to not date woman with kids? Doubtful

'Well you won't be giving me anything until we are married'.

Any man who talks you having his babies before marriage (assuming you haven't explicitly said you never want to marry) is a loser who intends to babytrap you but never actually fully commit. Hope that helps.

Runnn!

That's a big turn off 😆

You could try talking to him about it, trying to work out if it's a kink or whatever, but yeah..... I don't think there'd be any coming back from that for me!

It is 100% a reason to dump him! He is showing who he is with this comment, a controlling man, testing the boundaries.

If the OP says anything about the comment, he will bat it off as banter (or some other lame ass excuse). He may apologise (which is the ‘test and apologise’ technique that men use when testing boundaries).

Take a look at The Burned Haystack Dating Method if you are still in any doubt.

OP…run far and fast. He’s testing you to see if you respond well to this. If you let it go, he will continue to push your boundaries. Huge red flag 🚩

Yes I would

This with bells on!

If the roles were reversed and a single childless man was looking to date a woman with children I’d advise he proceeded with extreme caution.

If as in this case she was a decade older with kids the age as this man, I’d say avoid