Hi, I feel so sorry for you. Twenty-nine years is a long time to be with someone and it’s no wonder your head’s all over the place. It’s a proper big thing to get your head round, and honestly, anyone would be struggling. Don’t let anyone make you feel like you should just crack on and get over it....you’re allowed to feel sad, lost, or even angry. It’s a lot to process, so go easy on yourself.
I know us blokes aren’t always the best at talking about this stuff, but it does help to get it off your chest, even if it’s just having a natter with a mate over a brew or a bevvy. You don’t have to pour your heart out if that’s not your style, but just being around people who care about you can make a world of difference. If you’ve got family or mates you trust, lean on them a bit. They’ll want to be there for you, and from what I've read of your posts, you’d do the same for them.
Try not to look at the whole thing as a failure. You’ve had nearly three decades together – that’s something, that is. People change, life takes us in different directions, and sometimes things just don’t work out how we thought they would. Doesn’t mean you’ve wasted your time or done anything wrong. Give yourself a bit of credit for all the years you put in and the good times you had.
Now’s the time to look after yourself, even if it feels a bit strange. Do the little things you enjoy. For me I Iike to get outside. You could stick your favourite music on, watch a bit of telly, whatever makes you feel a bit more like yourself. It’s not selfish, it’s just looking after your own head. You’ll find your feet again, even if it takes a while. No rush, just take each day as it comes.
Honestly, it might not feel like it now, but things will get better. You’ll settle into a new routine and, bit by bit, you’ll start to feel more like yourself again. If you ever feel like it’s all getting too much, don’t be daft – reach out for a bit of help. There’s no shame in it. You’ve got through a lot already, and you’ll get through this too.