Oh Bananabeau you will be missed.

[Rainbows41]

I'm so sorry to see your post has been removed. You will be missed.
I refreshed my app daily in the hopes of seeing positive updates from you, and I'm sad you felt you needed to remove your post altogether.
I wish you well in your future and I sincerely hope you can fulfill your dreams.

You deserve to be happy.
💗

It's SO good to hear from you @bananabeau
I think a lot of us have your back because we've been in awful abusive relationships too. You don't owe any explanation to us, just know that you've got a load of supportive folks here, sending you solidarity.
Take good care of yourself, and hope you're feeling better soon.

Thinking of you @bananabeau and sending you strength and love, there’s no pressure to respond just know that you have our support❤️

So very very pleased to hear from you @bananabeau !

Look after yourself.

Banana, it's so good to hear from you - we were all so worried for your wellbeing.
Please get back to the doctors and ask them to take bloods - throwing up doesn't sound normal, but I've never had shingles, so I don't know for sure if it's a symptom. I've watched too many crime documentaries, so my sinister mind wants you to get checked over.
Please stay safe. Is there ANYONE you can reach out to within your family ? You need a lifeline to get the hell out of there.
xxxx

Rooting for you @bananabeau . Take care xxxx

See some medical help and look after yourself. Xx

Thanks ladies. It’s been a rough couple of months x

We don't expect you to say too much on here.

I'm hoping that you've managed to contact your work to arrange for your pay to go straight into an account that only you can access.

I have still waitin on first pay to my account. Living on nothing! Lost a fair bit of weight, that could b down to the sickness though.

how r u?

I'm fine, thanks.

Stress can certainly cause weight loss. Are you aware of any specific reason for your nausea? (Apart from the stress and shingles, I mean.)

Nah think it’s just stress ❤️ I’ll b ok.

As we've all said, we don't expect you to say too much on here. I'm hoping that your work now understands your situation?

Also hope that you've maybe managed to contact one of the resources that some of the other posters have mentioned.

I’ve still not really spoken to anyone irl. I’ve came to a bit of a stand still just crawling through each day. My fight seems to have gone, truth be told.

I can understand that.

Even if you contact Samaritans for moral support - someone to talk to. Also, I recall that it's possible to phone Citizens' Advice these days.

This might be of use? There's a 'safe exit' button you can hit if someone comes in while you're reading - it immediately switches you to Google.

There's also useful advice in the 'Hide your tracks' link on the page.

www.rightsofwomen.org.uk/get-advice/

Thanks I appreciate your advise. I’m almost numb, I don’t feel the need to speak, it’s almost like he’s worn me down and I don’t have the fight left in me even to speak about it. Like I’m not upset so I don’t want to waste anybody’s time when there are more worthy people needing real help

It's easy for me to say, but try not to let him get into your head.

If you're not ready to speak to anyone yet, then that's fine - but at least read some of the advice available online. You've made the first step by sorting out your pay.

Thank you. I have a day to myself tomorrow so going to try take another step forward and sort some practical things. It’s difficult when I don’t have access to money. But I’ll try do things online

Thanks for getting back in touch, Banana. But I do hope you’re getting proper medical help. Stress can cause a lot of nasty symptoms, but they’re not “just stress”. It can actually make you really physically ill, and it sounds as if this may be happening to you. Please push for a proper diagnosis. And we’re all hoping you can get away from your oppressive situation as soon as possible. Remember you deserve so much better xxx

Thanks. I really need to go to gp as I have been ill for a while. Just lacking the drive. Everyday is an effort, I’m quite teary and the second I get worked up I’m physically sick. I need to start looking after myself properly

Are you still dealing with shingles? If so, my sympathies. I’ve had shingles for the past couple of months and it’s been no fun at all. As you know, it’s often stress related. Sending you healing thoughts and strength to move forward and create a new life for yourself.

Thanks Betsy. Sorry you’re going through this! Are you ok?

Nobody thinks you are wasting their time! I have followed your story from the beginning and was aghast at how you were being treated then, let alone what you are enduring now.
The aftermath of shingles and the new stresses you are under are taking a heavy toll. Please see your doctor as a matter of urgency.
You are worthy!

Oh @bananabeau you are certainly worthy of help and support! Look at us lot rooting for you here. Please see your GP.

Thanks for the update banana and sorry to hear that you’re feeling so low. Try to look after yourself. Could you ring women’s aid helpline for some support?

Please tell all this to the GP. Explain your situation. They can often signpost and give help you don't expect.