Is this standard in the dating game?

[LikeYouWantIt]

Matched with someone on online dating. Both mid-30s. We've been chatting for literally less than 24 hours and he's already asking me to meet for coffee tomorrow. Like??? I literally don't know you from Adam. Shouldn't we chat for a week or so, and actually establish that we're not axe murderers before committing to meeting up in person?

Or is this normal in the online dating world, and I'm just being overly cautious?

He's already asked for my number so we can talk on WhatsApp, which I agreed to (giving him my "spare" sim number), and I've just had a notification pop up "This contact is on Snapchat" which is another red flag for me.

But, is it normal to meet up with someone so soon?

Not sure if it's the norm, but I met my partner (funnily enough called Adam lol) online dating. We sent about 4 messages back and forth and met the next day. Insane maybe, but something in my gut told me to go for it. 9 months later we're still inseperable.

Tbh there’s no right or wrong. When I did OLD I preferred to chat for a few days but there’s a lot of people on here who think that’s a waste of time and you should meet asap rather than message

He's not wrong and neither are you - but it might show an incompatibility from the start.

Regardless of how long you’ve chatted, always make sure you meet somewhere public with an easy way to escape if needed. Don’t give out your address and never accept a lift from them.

Better to meet sooner rather than later imo, otherwise you can invest alot of time chatting only to find they don't match up to the person you'd thought they'd be...

You can’t really get to know someone with a few online messages.

It's up to you.... I prefer to meet up early on as I get a much better sense of who someone is in person. It tends not to be too flashy a date, something simple like coffee and a walk - in a busy place.

If you are not comfortable then don't do it. There's no right or wrong.

Id say this is a good sign. Better than the men who want to talk for weeks on end and never meet up!!

I met my DP on bumble and wanted to meet up straight away after a day of talking but I was going on holiday so we had to wait until I was back.

This - exactly. Have you actually spoken, or just messaged?? But if you’re at all interested I’d say yes - talk then meet asap if only to check how real they are, find out as much as possible as soon as possible.

A coffee sounds harmless - during the day in public - better than chatting via texts (where tone can be hard to interpret when you don’t know someone well) and then meeting up to find out he’s a total bellend. Go for it! You’ll only know if there is chemistry from meeting him too - he could be perfectly nice over text but IRL he might have all the sex appeal of Nigel Farage. This is a good way to avoid wasting time.

"Don’t give out your address and never accept a lift from them."

Funny you should say that. The last (and only) online date I went on, we did talk for a couple of weeks before arranging to meet. But then he offered to come and pick me up from my house and drive me to where we planned on going. Instant NO! He said he was "just being gentlemanly".

I preferred to meet sooner rather than later. Saves time wasting from guys who only want a penpal or are not single. That’s quite quick regardless though. For me a couple of days of chatting to get through the basics of what we’re looking for then meet up soon after is ideal. Eg if they’re looking for someone to have kids with, that’s not me. So I wouldn’t go on a date before I’d explore that. Saved wasting time meeting people you won’t be compatible with.
Most people are on Snapchat so that’s not a red flag.
So to answer your question, this is fairly normal. Are you ready to go on dates?

I did online dating for 3 years and in the beginning I chatted with men for weeks before meeting, but that was just wasting time (for me at least). It was much better to talk over phone/via app call within the first/second day to figure out if the person is ok and then meet face to face soon. This way you don’t waste time thinking you get along with someone only to then meet and realise you don’t want anything to do with that person. Chatting online too long creates false expectations on there being a connection and you two getting along. Chatting too long gives dreams/hopes too much space. Use online dating sites to match with men but move it to phone call and meet up asap to then move on if the person isn’t what you looking for. Don’t get stuck entertaining online reality over real life.

I'd much rather meet them straight away. I wasted so much time chatting to men I'd met online and thinking things were going well only to meet them and for various reasons realise it wouldn't work out. Meet them as quickly as possible before you get caught in a trap of chatting to them for days with no date set.

Oh don't waste weeks and weeks ' chatting ' to someone to discover he has b o or something when you do eventually meet !

Think of it as Date-0. Very little investment, little to lose.

One guy I matched with asked for my address almost immediately and said he’d like to drop in for a cuppa.
I politely told him I always meet somewhere public fur the first few dates and he said I was accusing him of being a rapist….!

Nothing wrong in meeting up early, definitely better than weeks of bland chats.

Maybe that’s why you’re still single.

You want to arrange to meet within a few days so this is completely within the realms of normal. And I'd say it's better if they ask for your number before the date as the apps can be temperamental so you don't always get a message notification.

Means they are either a total arse and won't show/cancel/ghost last minute or they are actually looking to date and want to see if there is a vibe from the start.

If someone isn't arranging a date or asking for your number within a week then that's the red flag as it probably means they are hoping you'll start some sex chat and they can get off over messages.

Attraction is based on scent apparently, so weeks of texts and chats that make them seem attractive can evaporate instantly on meeting. Best to meet quickly and see if the pheromones work 💐

Disagree. It’s normal to swap numbers and that on WhatsApp after a couple of days

I just have a blanket policy of not swapping numbers until we’ve met. I’m not giving my number to a random off the internet. The apps aren’t really that temperamental and it saves a lot of potential hassle later.

Agree about meeting up sooner rather than later, less than a week if at all possible for all the reasons others have said.

I think people can get jaded with endless chatting. But you need a little chatting to weed out creeps. And also we take a long time to ge ready for dates we want to ensure the man is worth the effort!

Compromise - say you'll do a quick phone call tonight or tomorrow. In two mins you'll know if you want to meet up with him or not - then no one's time is wasted.

It is quite normal
A lot ask.

However, the test of the red flag is if the eg agree to stick to the app until you've met. I had a guy get really annoyed at me telling me I was weird for that request and so I weeded him out.

@Sofiewoo a bit rude.

Single mums are careful and we dont want any old guy seeing our social media profiles and full names etc.

But see my post just above