Age gap relationship

[Mumoftwojune]

Would you date a man 18 years your senior?
I am 39, he is 57.

That’s a mahoosive generalisation! I’m sure that there are some men out there who would fit the description - but the same would be true of any generalisation!

Give it a go! You will know if it’s right. My husband is 19 years older than me, I am 40 he is 59 but we have been together for 18 years. So he was my age when we first started dating! I think it works extremely well and he is fit and healthy. Anything can happen at anytime to anyone, so enjoy it and see where it takes you. Life is too short and would rather spend it with the right man than a wrongun! Good luck!

date, yes. moving in and marriage, no.

No.

There was 19 years between my dad and his second wife.

It would be fair to say that being with him made her old rather than being with her kept him young.

Am I an older man🤔
Maybe you can ask the 2 boys i gave birth to 😂

I used to work with someone who was 37. Her partner was 73. She was odd in that she had never had to look after herself. Went from parents to him. Didn’t know how to be independent. She had no friends outside of the relationship. No hobbies. She worked. He didn’t and didn’t have any income except state pension.

she purposely went OLD searching for someone over 65

Theres a thread running on Stephen Fry, his husband was 27 when they married and SF was 57...

Something amiss

I’ve had two. One I regret, not because of the age, but because he just didn’t, and still doesn’t. I ended up having to sorry him out when he reached crisis point and e fed up in a nursing home. It’s such a chore.

No. My friend's exdh left her after an affair with a woman who was 19 years his junior. I just know that he fed her a load of bullshit that he was in an unhappy marriage, separate bedrooms etc etc. He followed the script to the letter. He is such a lying scum bag and I feel sorry for his now wife that she's going to have wasted her young adulthood with this fucktard of a man. I know this is not your situation but I can't possibly see what they can have in common.

At the ages you are I don't see this as being such a difference but I think in 15 years time it would be a very different situation. Not only would I not want to have to nurse someone just as I am about to retire, I also wouldn't want to find that, having cared for that person, I would have now have to spend my old age alone.

I know that none of these scenarios are guaranteed but they reasonable considerations.

I'd be too jealous when they got to retire, and then too sad that I'd likely spend my own retirement alone and grieving.

No

Not sure what macron has to do with anything. There wasn’t any doddery age related issue from what I could see. More a relationship issue.

Very strange comments. People who vehemently state they aren’t going to be anyone’s nursemaid, what would they do if their similar aged partner developed early onset dementia or MND? if you aren’t going to be anyone’s nursemaid then can we assume your leave them?

as for just finding someone you love madly bearer your own age, a cursory look on MN shows it’s not easy to find someone you deeply connect with and fancy. People are giving up on men altogether. If you are lucky enough to meet someone that special, grab them and share what life you may have together.

Some truly bonkers comments on here. That’s our age gap, and we’ve been married over 30 years, late 50s and mid-70s now. He is fit, fitter than I am, and has never really retired, so he’s busy and engaged, constantly on the go. People are people; there’s no generalizing that can be helpfully made - only you can assess your own situation.

But it's not generalising - it is fabulous that your DH is fit and well and I hope that remains to be the case for a long time. However, the average life expectancy of a man in the UK is currently 79. The risk of dementia significantly increases over the age of 65 and the risk of other health conditions also increases with age. That is just biology.

Absolutely I would. I don't see any issue with that gap.

I met my DH when I was 45 and he was 60. We married and had 23 happy, happy years until he died of Covid.

He was the love of my life and i wouldn't change a thing. 🙂

Statistically the chances of developing dementia etc is higher as you get older, but forgetting statistics, I am personally not planning to become anyone's nursemaid, so I would leave, yes. I am not sure why anyone would want this future. Women are not servants and caretakers of ailing men.

This. I wouldn’t even entertain someone who was that much older than me.

I got asked out by someone 15 years older nice guy a lot in common BUT he had grandchildren and living that older life.. I’m only 40 and still have a child under 10 .. it wouldn’t work either way

It’s not about women being nurses to ailing men. I am asking about anyone if their partner developed something later in life. So men whose female partners develop some degenerative disease or women whose male partners do.

so you’d be in an apparently loving relationship due 25 years then leave if your partner developed a degenerative disease?

No

I think the fact that you have DC and he is not the father is significant here. Teen years are tough. A stepfather who is so much older is likely to lead to issues with parenting of your DC.

This is a very different scenario to a couple with an age gap where no kids are involved

No. At 39 my upper limit would be 45, and even then he’d have to really fucking special.