DH annoyed that I have a dad!

[Lightwooddoor]

My DH is annoyed that I am going out to see my dad on Father’s Day, leaving him with the kids for a couple of hours. Apparently he wanted us all to do something together.

For context, my Father’s Day so far has involved giving him a blowjob in bed this morning, making him his favourite breakfast, and letting him mooch about whilst I entertained the kids.

He was like ‘I did the same for you on Mother’s Day! And I didn’t go out in the afternoon!’ Which is true but his mum is no longer with us so hardly fair.

I dunno. I can see his point of view and he’s not droning on about it. I just feel conflicted. I’d have loved to have spent the day all together but my dad isn’t up for going out these days and I would like to see him too.

Was the blowy relevant? 😂

Don't you talk?
and ugh re your blow job
sounds like you're both point scoring which never ends well

I think he might have a point on priorities in slightly the wrong order.

I’d say fathers of kids trump fathers of adults for Father’s Day activities.

All of you popping in to see your dad, and then mainly doing something as a family would probably have been the better balance.

I’m assuming he hasn’t ditched his immediate family to go off and see his dad.

We didn't really need to know about the BJ..?
That aside, your DH sounds very immature.

He is being unreasonable.

Father’s Day is about all fathers, not just him. And what’s the problem with him fathering alone for a couple of hours? I’ll be popping over to see my Dad for a coffee later and leaving the DC at home with DH. DH doesn’t have a DF anymore.

same applies to Mother’s Day. I don’t have a DM anymore but I fully agree that MIL should also be celebrated on the day.

I'd flip that round - OP doesn't say how old her Dad is, but if he's getting on in years he might not have many left. Is it unreasonable for her to want to spend a couple of hours with her Dad?

Couldn’t you see your dad yesterday? I see mine the Friday or Saturday before and then the Sunday is all about DH - the father of our children. Using his mum being dead against him is horrible.

Was going to say the same thing.
We really don't need to know.

Your DH is not YOUR Dad though, is he!
He's got his children there with him which is what is being celebrated, not him being a husband.

Ugh on the bj. And of course you aren’t unreasonable to go see your dad.

If the kids are little then I think it’s an immediate family day and just give your own dad a call or see him the day before. And yeah no need for that level of information on your sex life.

A blow job for fathers day is grim.
Congrats, you're a daddy, let me suck your cock.

Tell him it's father's day and you are going to spend some time with yours while he spends some time being one.

Seriously tmi

I would have taken a card and some chocolates over yesterday or for an hour this morning and as a PP said, you could have all popped over for an hour this morning on your way somewhere nice.

It doesn't have to be one or the other - it can be both.

Also as a PP said, fathers of dependant children get priority over fathers with adult children.

Personally I think that Mother's Day and Father's Day are more about parents of young children than the older generation. So I have some sympathy with your DH.

I’d have said mothers and Father’s Day were for the younger kids, if it’s not possible to do something all together for whatever reason.

Could you not have gone to see your dad on Friday/Saturday?

Did you go alone or take the kids?

I wouldn’t be thrilled if my DH left me looking after the kids alone on Mother’s Day to go and see his mother alone.

Good grief!!! The pearl clutching over the use of the words
“blow job”. What is wrong with you people???

OP I think if it were reversed then people would be 100% on your side and saying that you should have the day to yourself and your DH should be prioritising you not his mother.
On the other hand, reality sucks and your father sounds elderly so it makes sense that you get to spend a few hours with him.
The truth lies somewhere in between, your DH is not unreasonable, would it have been possible to spend time with him and your DF.

I agree. Especially if they’re quite young. We have a 3 and 6 yr old and I wouldn’t be thrilled if DH said “I’m taking my mum out for lunch on Mother’s Day, you’re ok with the kids right?”

No pearl clutching. Rather reacting to the over share

I’ve no idea why people are being so weird and puritanical about the blowjob OP. I think this was mentioned just to highlight that he hasn’t exactly had a terrible morning and been neglected so why can’t OP spend a few hours with her dad this aft??

Does he expect a blow job for Father’s Day? That’s just weird!!!

Why aren't you taking the kids to see your father? That's what I do, DH loves the time to chill out.

I completely disagree that Mother and Fathers Day is primarily for those with young children. Just because you have your own offspring doesn't mean you shouldn't celebrate your own parents. It's about honouring parents, regardless of how long they've been parents, for everything they do.

Mine could never do enough firstly for me, and then us as a family. My Mum was the best, I lost her 2 months ago and she deserved every Mother's Day she had. 42 of them were still not enough.
My Dad is elderly and has dementia, he doesn't know it's Father's Day, but I have a card for him and will pop by to see him. My husband is working away so won't get to have a day, but if he were, he'd certainly not begrudge me seeing my Dad today for an hour or 2.

Not unreasonable at all. And if Fathers Day really is more important for the fathers of kids, well he can do something nice with the kids while she is gone.